Family Vision Coaching CIC Introducing Family Vision and Trauma Informed Coaching for Vulnerable Families. June 2018 Nina Farr, Coach, Author Program Designer

Nina Farr, Coach

Family Vision for parents Who is it for? What does it do? Anyone parenting alone after high conflict family breakdown including: Traumatic events (including bereavement, mental health crisis, drug or alcohol abuse or abandonment) Domestic violence or abuse Conflict driven divorce or separation, including highly litigious family breakdown Family Vision offers parents the time to step out of the conflict or trauma for long enough to review: Where they are now Where they would like to be next How they are going to get there How they can communicate this to their children and support network Family Vision helps parents to develop Self-Advocacy A strong leadership identiy

How does Family Vision work?

What else helps FV work? The power of the group A community with something in common Equality in peers and facilitators A culture of positive, trauma informed care Facilitation matters, but so do you – the whole school approach to family support amplifies and enhances Family Vision.

In their own words: Mums talk “Having a vision of what the future could hold… you are in control and you can change things. Knowing I have that, and someone having faith in you, was really positive.” (Parent)   “I’m more confident as a parent. It helps you shape your life a bit more and makes you feel more positive. It was really emotional. It kind of hit home. I’ve definitely come a long way.” “I’m no longer stuck in a rut. I actually know what I want to do and how to get there. Whereas before I had no motivation, nothing, to do anything.” “It was almost like I found myself, which I had never had before.”

In their own words: Providers talk “Some of them walk differently; I think it’s amazing; you can see a physical transformation.” (Facilitator) “Sometimes the parenting work isn’t very effective, because I still see this gap where it isn’t possible to parent effectively unless you are able to develop yourself. It feels to me like this could be the missing factor.” (Provider)   “I think that’s what’s so refreshing about FV is it’s not looking at you as a victim; it’s not focusing on that stuff at all really. It’s looking forward… it gives a whole different perspective.”

So what’s next for Family Vision? Where we came from – Pilot studies complete Where we are going next – Full Feasibility trial What’s in store then? A full clinical trial (2021) CPD Certified training in Coaching with vulnerable families Family Vision Facilitator training Co-delivery with partner organisations (could it be you?)

More about Trauma and learning Traumatic family breakdown is an ACE Trauma is very, very common (2 out of 3 adults report one) Trauma interrupts children’s learning in predictable ways: Difficulties concentrating in class Problems with regulating emotions Problems with organising memory Undermines trust in adults who children must listen to in class Interrupted sense of self, others, cause and effect Physical interruptions to attendance in school Interferes with the capacity for creative play which stops children from processing learning and everyday life

Trauma and parenting So how does focusing on parenting help children learn? Traumatised parents exhibit predictable behaviour too: Problems with emotional self-regulation Depression and anxiety Loss of self-efficacy and sense of powerlessness Flashbacks Numbing behaviours (drugs, alcohol, compulsive sex, eating disorders, cutting, disassociation) Nightmares, exhaustion, insomnia Hypervigilance (helicopter parenting) Learned helplessness (reliance on systems, organisations or professionals to co-parent)

A whole school approach Children in a trauma sensitive school will learn: How to trust adults in safe and supportive environments How to make emotional connections with adults and peers they might otherwise push away How to calm their emotions so they can focus and behave appropriately in order to learn Feel confident enough to advance their learning

What if we include their parents too? Parents in a trauma sensitive school will feel Welcome, safe and supported Able to form relationships positively with the staff who support them and their children and be active, equal participants in those relationships Met in a culture of respect Seen as capable and active participants in their child’s learning journey Included in a growth mindset approach

How does Family Vision Coaching contribute to this vision? We offer whole school CPD programs for staff, skills based training in mindset and coaching for all roles that engage with parents Family Vision groups engage, support and develop advocacy skills in the most vulnerable parents Family Vision facilitators champion welcoming respectful and co-creative relationships with parents who might otherwise disengage Family Vision parents participate in wider activities at school, sustaining better relationships with the school community long term

Contact me: nina@ninafarr.com 07590995157