Writing Project By: Becca Wolfe

Meet the Authors… Madeline Feyen Isaac Walsh Very talkative Always had a story to share with me, whether it was about her story or not Friendly and kind Strong writer Shy Very nice and willing to help and share Good writer with good ideas

Brainstorm Madeline Isaac Knew right off the bat exactly where she wanted to go with her story Had many main ideas she wanted to put into her story Isaac Did not have very much thought about what to write about at first Had a short story and didn’t really know how to add detail to it

Planning the Conference What I noticed…. What I decided to say… Madeline Feyen She had much more written already than everyone else. She was sharing a very personal story and did it in a strong way. She thought she was already basically finished with the story. I told her she had a very strong story she was working with, but could always add more detail. I told her she should reread the story as if she were a different reader and not the writer. This would get her to know where to add more detail. Isaac Walsh - Isaac had very little detail, he needed to add some description to his work. - There was some unorganized information in his writing. I had him first reread his story and tell me if he thought it flowed correctly. I then had him tell me main points that he would want to address in his story. We talked about adding more describing words and detail.

Response Student Response… What I thought…. Madeline Feyen She tried to stray conversation off of her story a few times, but we talking along with me most of the time. She thought that it was difficult to read her story as someone else, but caught on where she needed to add more detail. Isaac was absent this day so Madeline and I had a lot of time to talk and look at her whole paper. She seemed very open to everything I had to say. Isaac Walsh He started by rereading his paper. We went over a few things, but he just started adding more to his paper. He did realize where he could have changed the order of his paragraph for it to make sense right away though. I feel as though he was more interested in finishing his story rather than going back and looking more into it. - He understood everything I was talking about.

MADELINE’S WRITING Madeline’s writing before conference… “So my aunt had to take Vanessa, Max, and I. We got in the car a road home. I looked out the window. When we got home I had a hot dog and played.” …and after the conference. “So my aunt had to take Vanessa, Max, and me home. I looked out the window with the feeling of depression. When we got home I had a hot dog and was watching the news.”

MINI-LESSON

Planning a Mini-Lesson What I noticed… Topics I considered… Both writers had worked pretty hard on their stories and had done a lot of editing. I wanted to find something that I could share with them to make their stories more exciting and coma alive. With the mini-lesson, I wanted to provide Madeline and Isaac with knowledge that they can use in their later writings. Organization throughout the text I also thought of sentence fluency because early on, each writer struggled a little with a few lines Voice. I wanted them to read their stories as an audience so that they could understand where a reader may be confused or not informed enough to understand the story. I ended up choosing word choice and wanted to have the students go back to their writings and give more detail and use “juicier” words throughout their text.

My Mini-Lesson Topic: Word Choice in Writing Student Response They loved the book I read them. When I was about to tell them about the thesaurus, Madeline jumped up and grabbed one to show me. I also showed them how you can use one online. They both went through their papers and changed around a lot of words and it made their stories sound more exciting. They responded very well to this. My Response -I think that it was great to see them pick up so easily on what I was telling them. -The lesson was simple and informative and caught the attention of Isaac and Madeline. Lesson Process: Introduce the Lesson: the goal is to find stronger or juicier words to help your readers envision the story Discuss the Process: reading a story that uses a lot of “juicy” words Model: Show them my personal narrative and the different words I can use as well as introduce them to a thesaurus Turn and Talk: students share stories and talk about different vocabulary they can use in their stories Closing and Review: they will give examples of the words they found Anticipated Responses and Outcomes: using a thesaurus when writing and always looking to use “juicier” words

ISAAC’S WRITING Isaac’s story before the mini-lesson.. …and after! “Then we had to cut the coconut stuff out of it and shred it in a chess shredder so it was small enough.” …and after! Then we had to cut the coconut stuff out of it and shred it in a cheese shredder so it was small enough. I tasted a small piece of coconut and it was gristly.”

FINAL CONFERENCE

Planning the Conference What I noticed… What I decided to say… Madeline Fayen -Her story was basically done by the time of the mini-lesson. She had already added something about the day following as well as an epilogue. -There was not much more to discuss! - I told her that she should keep finding opportunities in her writing to add more descriptive words. Isaac Walsh Isaac had added a lot since last time. He went back to his story and added a lot of descriptions and did a great job added more description to the story. He can try to be more creative in the future with his stories. I told him to make sure that he rereads his papers as a reader rather than the writer. He can also brainstorm ideas before writing so he doesn’t start and not know where to go from there.

Response to the Conference Student Response My Response Madeline Fayen She was very excited to be done with her story. She told me about the next story they would be writing and all of her ideas for that. -She hadn’t changed much of the story since the beginning, just small editing. This is because she was a very strong writer and had her full story and an epilogue before others were even through their first paragraph. Isaac Walsh Isaac enjoyed reading his story aloud to us when he was finished. He was proud of what he had accomplished. He went and found some great description words to use in his story. He also added more dialogue. - I think he was very slow with writing in the beginning but as soon as he saw how Madeline was coming along, he picked up the pace and kept adding more to his story.

ASSESSMENT

Madeline Fayen Isaac Walsh Strengths: Opportunities for growth: Knew right away what direction her story was going in Did a great job including dialogue Opportunities for growth: Be able to add detail and background knowledge so readers can understand the story better Isaac Walsh Very good at word choice Could keep on brainstorming ways to keep his readers interested

CELEBRATION!

Overall Reactions Me Students I am glad that I had a chance to work with two great students. I loved working with them and learning how they thought about their writing. In the future… I might want to see some of their other work to see their writing style. I should respond more to even revision that they made. Students I believe that they had a really god time with this experience. They told me when I was leaving that they hope I come back to help them with their scary stories they’re writing next! I feel that they learned from the mini-lesson and will continue to work with “juicier” words because they enjoyed looking up new ones.