Common Thesis Problems This PP is based off of The Bedford Handbook

#1 In his essay, Paulo Freire shows that banking education mirrors a system of political oppression.

#1 – The Non-Thesis Thesis A thesis takes a position on an issue. It is different from a topic sentence in that a thesis statement is not neutral. It announces, in addition to the topic, the argument you want to make or the point you want to prove. This is your own opinion that you intend to back up. This is your reason and motivation for writing. The thesis to too factual. A reader could no disagree or debate it; no further development of the idea is required.

The fix! In his essay, Paulo Freire shows that banking education mirrors a system of political oppression. Strategy – enter a debate by posing a question about your topic that has more than one possible answer. Your thesis should be the answer to that question. Is Freire right to compare banking education to systems of political oppression?

Not-so-great: In his essay, Paulo Freire shows that banking education mirrors a system of political oppression. Better: It has been my experience that Paulo Freire is right in comparing a system of banking education to a system of political oppression because in my banking education classes the learning environment was oppressive and my learning was limited.

#2 The government has the right to limit free speech.

#2 – The Overly Broad Thesis A thesis should be as specific as possible, and it should be tailored to reflect the scope of the paper. It is not possible, for instance, to write about the history of English literature in a 3-5 page paper. In addition to choosing a smaller topic, strategies to narrow a thesis include specifying a method or perspective or delineating certain limits.

The fix! The government has the right to limit free speech. Strategy – Consider subtopics of your topic. Ask questions to direct you to your new thesis. In what cases should the government limit free speech?

Not-so-great: The government has the right to limit free speech. Better: The government has the right to limit free speech in cases of overtly racist or sexist language because our failure to address such abuses would effectively suggest that our society condones such ignorant and hateful views.

#3 Although we have the right to say what we want, we should avoid hurting other people’s feelings.

#3 – The Incontestable Thesis A thesis must be arguable. And in order for it to be arguable, it must present a view that someone might reasonably contest. Sometimes a thesis ultimately says, “we should be good,” or “bad things are bad.” Such thesis statements are so universally accepted that there is no need to prove the point.

The fix! Although we have the right to say what we want, we should avoid hurting other people’s feelings. Strategy – Figure out the antithesis of your claim. If an antithesis doesn’t exist, it probably shouldn’t be your thesis. Ask yourself why. Why should we avoid hurting other people’s feelings?

Not-so-good: Although we have the right to say what we want, we should avoid hurting other people’s feelings. Better: If we can accept that emotional injuries can be just as painful as physical ones we should limit speech that may hurt people’s feelings similar to the way we limit speech that may lead directly to bodily harm.

#4 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial is an interesting structure.

#4 – The Hazy/Vague Thesis What does interesting actually mean? A thesis should be sharply focused (in idea and language), not too vague. Avoid fuzzy, hard-to-define words such as interesting or good.

The fix! The Vietnam Veterans Memorial is an interesting structure. Strategy – Focus on concrete language and a clear plan. Ask yourself how: How is the Vietnam Veterans Memorial interesting?

Not-so-good: The Vietnam Veterans Memorial is an interesting structure. Better: By inviting visitors to see their own reflections in the wall, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial creates a link between the present and the past.