BEHIRA POINTS

Behira or Choice Points We mostly live in a world of habit, we function on automatic and we often do not consciously consider the options open to us, especially when we have done something one way for a long time. However, there is another way to live and be aware of our choices and ourselves in life and thus make choices thoughtfully and with purpose.

Suppose, for example, that you seldom, if ever, let someone cut ahead of you while you are driving. Then you see that there is construction ahead and you move into the correct lane. You notice, however, that one car does not move over and when you get to the construction…what do you do when that driver wants to cut in ahead of you?

Do You: Let them in graciously. Let them in although you are angry at them and let them know it by giving them a dirty look. Ignore them and make believe that you are totally interested in something off in the distance. Make it a point to move closer to the car ahead of you so it is clear that they cannot cut you off.

Now, suppose that you were that person in the car trying to cut you off and: You had just spaced out moving over because you were thinking about something important. You had an emergency at home and were not paying attention. You were not feeling well and just needed to get home and take some medication. You had a crying child or over-tired children fighting in the backseat and missed seeing the construction sign. How do you feel when that person will not let you in? Guilty, annoyed, frantic, angry, stupid, emotionally upset?

So what would happen if, as the driver who would not let anyone cut them off; you decided to someone in front of you? Would you feel kinder? Would you feel a sense of having done the right thing, even though you may discover that they are in reality rude idiots. What has happened is that you changed your decision making based on positive instead of negative feelings. This is the Behira/Choice point.

When you think, really think, about your behavior or actions and then make a decision based upon your assessment instead of how you have always done it; then you are making a choice knowingly. Making your choice knowingly is using a Behira point. Pausing before taking action, living with the full awareness of the ramifications of those actions is making use of this point. We all have such points in our lives when our actions are automatic; becoming aware of them and changing them is living mindfully.

So, take a look at the next few pictures and please share with the group what your automatic reaction is and what happens when you apply your new way of thinking to each situation.

Hitlamdut + Behira Points When we combine the two: Hitlamdut, taking a learning stance when combined with Behira Points it means that we learn something new about ourselves. We learn a new method of looking at things, we learn how to live life in each moment which makes it richer. Finally we learn that life is precious and when lived with such awareness we begin to appreciate it and the people who surround us more.

What do you think this means? The Rabbis of the Mishna stated, “A mitzvah leads to another mitzvah and a wrongdoing leads to another wrongdoing” and “The second time a person does a wrongdoing, it is no longer a wrongdoing in his/her mind anymore.” What do you think this means?

For the Sunday School Class

Behira or Choice Points A Behira or Choice Point is a time when you have a choice concerning your actions. You can either chose to do something that you have always done or you can chose to do something new. You have these choices in your life every day and most of the time your choices are automatic.

What do you do when you are given a food that you hate…even though you have never tasted it? You probably refuse to eat it …………right?

BUT…what would happen if you decided to taste it? Would you curl up and turn into a frog? Would you turn purple? Would your tongue burn up? Would your head swivel around on your neck? OR Would you maybe like it…just a little? Maybe with ketchup you might eat a little?

your head around swivels on your neck! HOORAY FOR YOU! This is a Behira or Choice Point in action. You made a choice that you may not have made before, just to try a little…even if you: do turn purple, or become a frog or your head around swivels on your neck! HOORAY FOR YOU!

In the next few pages you will see a pictures of something happening In the next few pages you will see a pictures of something happening. Work with your parents to identify what your Behira points are concerning what is happening. You can choose one or all of the pictures on each page. You can write down what you think and when we are all done you and your parents can share what you have decided about what you as a student would do in each situation. What your Behira points are in terms of choices.

1 2 3 Bullying

2 1 3 Stealing

1 2 3 Cheating

Sharing your thoughts about your choices in each situation(s): Bullying Stealing Cheating -What was your first thought when you saw the pictures? -Did you have a problem with coming up with a Behira Points? -Did talking it over with your parents help?

So you can now combine the two middot that you have learned: Hitlamdut- learning about yourself Behira Points- making choices When you were looking at the pictures about bullying, stealing and cheating do you think that you might have learned anything about yourself? Did you think that it was hard or easy to see what your choices were and how you might have planned things out before taking action? This idea of thinking about your actions in each situation is both a Behira point and Hitlamdut. WHY?

Most of the time you are not going to have to make such choices in your life, but it is good to know what to do if you have to in the future. For the most part our Behira points are going to involve what to eat or not eat, when to clean your room, whether or not to brush your teeth, or what to wear to school. These are important too. So try to think before you do something, it will help make you a better person and…

You will have more fun in life!

Thank you for being such great students! Parents don’t forget to meet with your partners. Everybody don’t forget to have a family meeting at least once a week. Try to remember to use your focus phrases to keep yourself on track during this next month. I will see you all on Sunday, November 9 for our next meeting.