DAY 1 The College Essay Let’s do some real research and see what advice other people have to give!! ◦ What makes a college essay “work”? ◦ How can writers reveal themselves through writing? 1

What do you think college admissions committees are looking for when they read student essays? Consider… Content Voice Style 2

Read the excerpt below: During the summer before my junior year of high school, I spent a weekend volunteering with the poor in post-Katrina Louisiana and realized that I am privileged. Most of what these people had had been ripped out from under them and life was very different there from my life in suburban Massachusetts. Amazingly, though, these people still seemed happy. I learned from this experience that money isn’t everything. 3

Now that you’ve read this excerpt: Do you think this essay will meet the expectations we just listed? Does this paragraph grab you? Are you interested in reading more of this essay? What do you think this paragraph says about this student? 4

Group Activity: Form an “Admissions Committee” “I hope I get in. Will they like me? I like me. I think I like me. Wait, do you think I’ll get in? Somebody’s got to let me in. Right? Hey… Pick ME!!!” 5

Form an “admissions committee” As a committee, you will now read five sample college essays YOUR TASK as a committee: ◦ Imagine that these essay writers have applied for admission to your college or university. ◦ Use the rubric to evaluate the essays and decide whether or not to admit each student. ◦ Assume that each student has a similarly strong profile in terms of grades, test scores, activities and recommendations. ◦ As a committee, deliver your admission decisions to the class by first briefly describing the essay and explaining what you liked or didn’t like about it. 6

After the final “decisions”… How were these essays different from the excerpt with which we began? (post-Katrina) In what ways were they more effective? What is cliché? How did these essays avoid that trap? After considering these essays, what else should we add to our list about what college admissions committees are looking for in student essays? 7

Is there hope for a false start? Here’s an essay that’s sure to make an admissions officer reach for the “triple grande latte” to stay awake: “I spent [choose one: a summer vacation/a weekend/three hours] volunteering with the poor in [Honduras/ Haiti/ Louisiana] and realized that [I am privileged/I enjoy helping others/people there are happy with so little].” It’s just like the excerpt we began this lesson with, right? Yes, the admissions folks have read it before. Many times. Is there a way to move the experience detailed in that opening excerpt beyond cliché? Here are some suggestions for just that…. ◦ “I would love to have a student answer the question, ‘Why is it that you have everything and they have nothing?’” said Cezar Mesquita, admissions director at the College of Wooster. “Or ‘What did others learn from your participation in the trip?’” 8

HOMEWORK: Read the article you are assigned from the list below, and answer the following questions: What are the top three pieces of advice you glean from this piece? From whose perspective does this advice come? Do you find this advice compelling? Why or why not? young-examined-life.html young-examined-life.html 6. changed-my-life.html changed-my-life.html 7. turning-torture-into-fun.html turning-torture-into-fun.html 9

DAY 2 ADVICE (last night’s homework) Share the most compelling advice from the piece you read. Let’s compile a list on the board and discuss the wisdom and limitations of the suggestions. What advice from our list seems most useful? Despite all of this advice, what don’t you know about writing college essays? What role does the reader play in determining what works and what doesn’t? How can you account for individual, unknown readers as you write? 10

Other resources we will explore a bit later in this unit…. 11

ion/writingtheessay.html ion/writingtheessay.html 12 “I have nothing against Big Macs, but the one I eat in Charlottesville is not going to be fundamentally different from the one I eat in Paris, Peoria or Palm Springs. I am not going to rave about the quality of a particular Big Mac. The same can be said about the generic essay.”

Tips from: College Board and Princeton Review skills/9406.html skills/9406.html skills/ skills/ y.html?_r=1 y.html?_r=1 As well as one thing to never forget: html?_r=1 13

Still having trouble deciding on a topic? A significant relationship I had or have: A treasured object I possess: A time I took a risk: A time I felt humbled: One thing very few people know about me is: Something I regret: A time when I was, or felt, rejected: Something I am really proud of: Something that changed the way I think or look at the world: How I am different from most people I know: My greatest fear: A time I felt truly satisfied: A person I admire: An object I own that tells a lot about me: Something funny that I did or that happened to me: ideas/ ideas/ 14

It is often preferable to write about the mundane - What “small moments” in your life might make for good personal statement material? For many seniors, choosing the topic for a personal statement is more difficult than actually writing the piece. But don’t fret. “Some of the more mundane moments in life make great essays,” Christopher Burkmar, Princeton University’s associate dean of admissions, assured guidance counselors at a conference last month. If you are applying to college, how might you use something “ mundane ” to show who you are and what is important to you? Or, what about your life might make an admissions officer “laugh, cry or wince”? You might also want to read and respond to student comments on this blog: ◦

FINAL TASK: Choose one piece of advice you found most compelling and craft a college essay that puts this suggestion into practice. Consider the elements of style and the patterns of development we have explored and model your essay using what appeals most to your purpose in writing. 16 PRELIMINARY TASKS: Over the course of this unit, we will engage in several practice writing exercises to get the juices flowing BEFORE you tackle the college essay.