Chapter 7

Section 7.1

Families are strong because of what they are not what they have.

 There are a few traits that represent a strong family. Although, not all families have these traits or have them perfected, all should try to work towards the following: 1. Affirmation Family members need to know that they are important and loved through words and actions. 2. Trust Both parents and children need to trust and be trusted through their actions and words.

3. Commitment A promise to support what the family sees of value Eg. Honesty, responsibilities 4. Time Together Happy families make an effort to spend time together Eg. Mealtime, family nights, outdoor activities 5. Traditions Passing down traditions can strengthen the family bond Eg. Christmas traditions, birthday traditions

6. Communication One of the most important family traits Allows family members to feel intimacy and prevent/solve problems 7. Shared Beliefs Strong families believe in “higher power” which gives them strength and hope in troubled times. 8. Respect Respect must be given and received by all family members remembering that each person is an individual and has their own opinions and ideas. Family members require a “private place” for their possessions and their private time.

9. Responsibility Families that share responsibilities are strong Responsibility reinforces confidence and independence 10. Morality Strong families have morals (teaching right from wrong) 11. Problems Positive problems solving techniques increases family strength

Section 2

 The family members with their different roles and responsibilities make up the family system.

 The parents that you are born to will always be your parents, therefore; all should try to work together since they will always be a part of your life.  Whether you live with your parents or a parent figure, the following relating principles apply: 1. Understanding  Remember that parents have a lot of responsibilities including: Making a living Providing for you Other family situations Health issues The future “You”

2. Limits and Rules  Parents set limits and rules to direct family life.  Although a source of conflict, open calm communication helps 3. Talking to Parents  Your parents have watched you grow for your entire life and they sometimes don’t understand what “stage of development” you are currently at which causes conflict.  When talking to you parents, you should: Take time to know your parents Bring along the right attitude Look for an easy approach to a difficult topic Use humour

 Siblings (brothers and sisters) are usually the longest relationships of your life.  Understanding the differences between siblings can be looked at through: 1. Heredity VS Environment  Psychologists believe personality is affected by: heredity - genes received from each parent environment - experiences in life

2. Adler’s View  Alfred Adler theorized that the order of birth plays an important part in sibling personality first born - responsible, independent and ambitious since they were exposed to first time parents who expect a great deal from their child m iddle born - cheerful, social and practical to since they were brought into a busy family last born - popular, fun loving and generous to friends but selfish and uncooperative to family since they have trouble understanding who to live up to single children - fast learners, busy and productive since they spend a lifetime of “parent pleasing”

 Families of multi children suffer from sibling rivalry as each child is comparing their experiences to their siblings.  If suffering from sibling rivalry ask yourself:  Do you keep track of the “rights” and “wrongs” of each sibling?  Are all family members together at all times to compare experiences?  Do parents have reasons to “choose”?  Do your parents have the time and ability to “keep track”?  Are you “exactly” like your sibling?  Do you really want “equal treatment”?  How do your siblings feel?  Is life fair?

 If you suffer from sibling rivalry you might try to:  Try to settle the disagreement yourself  Talk about your feelings  Look for you own strengths rather than comparing  Make an effort to settle disagreements when they happen