1 We spent 14 hours learning all kinds of wonderful things about how we were created and how critical unconditional love is. Have you noticed that you have had any application problems as you go through your daily routines? As we conclude this year and this study on love, let’s consider one last application issue so that what you have learned can become fully functional.

2 You know that you have application problems if: 1.You lose your joy when people don’t do what you want. 2.You find yourself angry or frustrated with people. 3.Other people can make you feel worthless. 4.You find yourself needing the acceptance or approval of others, children, spouse. It means that you might understand the principles – you just don’t use them when you need them. You are relying on your own failed systems to interpret circumstances and solve your problems. "Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he." Proverbs 29:18 KJV "Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; But happy is he who keeps the law." Proverbs 29:18 NKJV

3 Today we are going to look at what you can do if you find the issues of the last slide a problem. Most of us are “systems” people and we need a structure to define and interpret circumstances of life, and to provide a means to engage those circumstances. Think about it – how DO you “define, interpret and engage” the circumstances of your life right now?

4 Your best friend has financial problems and you loan her significant money. Her problems continue and she cannot make her payments to you and begins to avoid you. How might you “define, interpret and engage” this circumstance if you used fleshly standards?

5 Situation defined: 1.My former “friend” is only using me, and waited for this dire situation to finally consume me, and tip her hand on how she really saw me. 2.Now that she has taken my money, can’t pay it back and is now avoiding me, I finally know what she thought of me in the first place.

6 Situation interpreted: 1.Now I know that I have been nothing but a resource to be consumed at the right moment to her. 2.I never meant anything to her anyway. 3.She thinks I’m stupid. 4.She is nothing but a self-serving jerk.

7 Situation engaged: 1.I’m going to let all of her future “suckers” know what she did to me so that she runs out of resources. 2.I’m going to take her to Judge Judy and publicly embarrass her.

8 Let’s take our eyes off the abuse and use the situation to examine the heart. 1.Would I lose my joy if this happened to me? 2.Would I find myself angry or frustrated with the person who did this to me? 3.Would I feel worthless because of it? 4.Would I feel a loss of acceptance or approval?

9 We all routinely experience events like this with the relational damage that follows, and we typically see them as necessary and inevitable revelations of character flaws in others, but seldom see them as indicators of serious problems in our own lives. What if God’s purpose in allowing others to hurt and frustrate you, is to reveal to you what is wrong in your own spiritual and emotional structure, and it really has NOTHING to do with the faults of those who frustrate you?!! A husband has an affair and when his wife confronts him, what will he probably do? “I never had a sexual problem until you …”

10 What if our REAL problem is NOT that the failures of others wound us, but rather that we wound ourselves by depending on others to meet our needs rather than God? What if all of your relational frustration is really NOT because of the selfishness of others, but rather the faithfulness of your Father in Heaven to bring correction and healing to YOU? Then you would see life as it truly is and be able to benefit by the things that typically torment you, rather than throwing away the joy God provided for the day. Imagine what life would be like if that was true of you.

11 Where do you think you are right now concerning this issue? Is your life taken over frequently by hurtful things that others do? Is your joy in a day often crushed by unpleasant circumstances? Are you tired of it enough to stop hammering on the inequities of your circumstances at the hands of selfish people so that you can see them from God’s point of view?

12 We need a system to help us understand our circumstances and engage them. So – 1.Thank God that He loves you enough to catch your attention with the problem. STOP seeing your “failures” as failures that disappointment God and lessen your value to Him. START seeing your “failures” as indicators of where God wants to apply more of His truth. A lot of Christians crash and burn on this point because they see the standard of the perfect love of God, and after a “failure”, they say, “Well, there I go again – what’s the use?”

13 After all of the idol worship and baby sacrificing Israel did, wouldn’t you think they would have reason to believe that God was angry and disappointed with them? But in keeping with our first point, thanking God that He loves us enough to put enough pressure on us to change, here is what God said to Israel.

14 "But you, Israel, My servant, Jacob whom I have chosen, descendant of Abraham My friend, you whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, and called from its remotest parts and said to you, ‘You are My servant, I have chosen you and not rejected you." Isaiah 41:8-9 What do you see in this statement? God is bringing circumstances that will facilitate healing in a very sin-wearied, beaten and bloodied nation – just like He wants to do with you and the goofy things you believe. Our first step into healing is to choose to be thankful for all that God is doing in our lives and choose to remain under His plan moment by moment in thanksgiving and expectation for healing. That keeps us active and waiting in faith where God’s work in our lives will accomplish His desire in us.

15 Now let’s move on to step 2. 1.Thank God that He loves you enough to catch your attention with the problem. 2.Decide whether you actually want to seriously do something about it, or live with it a little longer. Remember that every day, in every situation that frustrates your flesh, you will have another opportunity to reaffirm your resolve or decide to take over the control of your life again. This isn’t a mistake, or God’s way of taking the “long way home”. It is critical to the correction that we all need to continually reaffirm our spiritual/mental orientation and each time we do that, the stronger our orientation becomes. Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, and David all experienced cycles of highs followed by lows as part of this process in their lives. They are necessary to deliver us from our ideas of how life should be. THAT is probably your worst problem with life.

16 Now let’s move on to step 2. 1.Thank God that He loves you enough to catch your attention with the problem. 2.Decide whether you actually want to seriously do something about it, or live with it a little longer. Finish with what you began – THANKSGIVING! 3.Acknowledge you are helpless to overcome your weakness. 4.Determine that you will stay under God’s hand of correction no matter how hard.

17 Now, here is, perhaps the most important point of this study that I am about to teach you. Most of us don’t know the truth, and when we get into circumstances that require the use of truth, we are in trouble. At other points, we know the truth, but because of pride and self-focus, we will not choose to exercise it. So here is the important point you MUST learn and live your life by in addition to the truth that you have learned about love.

18 "And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him." 1 John 4:16 What does “abiding” have to do with what we have been talking about? Here is the important point that you must always remember as you go through life! Abiding in love, abiding in God is choosing to see God behind all of the circumstances of your life and receiving them as from God for your good, and therefore choosing to remain or ABIDE in them until God accomplishes His beautiful purpose in your life!

19 But what DO we do? We fix it, avoid it, attack it, deny it, escape it, medicate it, distract from it, become victims of it, … Can I just tell you – that is NOT abiding, and IT is the reason your life becomes miserable. Your painful situations will not hurt as much and will not last as long. You will actually begin to enjoy your life in ways you never dreamed possible! Learn to receive, even welcome the hardships that God chooses to purify you from your flesh and its control over you and you will learn two things: