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WordinessTired Language MENUEXIT Continue… Tired language is dull, unimaginative, and monotonous.

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Presentation on theme: "WordinessTired Language MENUEXIT Continue… Tired language is dull, unimaginative, and monotonous."— Presentation transcript:

1 WordinessTired Language MENUEXIT Continue… Tired language is dull, unimaginative, and monotonous.

2 Wordiness MENUEXIT Can you spot the tired language in the following sentence? Late in the 4th quarter, the quarterback added insult to injury by passing for two back-to-back touchdowns. PREVIOUS Click to see the tired language Tired Language Tired language is dull, unimaginative, and monotonous.

3 Wordiness MENUEXIT Can you spot the tired language in the following sentence? PREVIOUS Tired Language Continue… Tired language is dull, unimaginative, and monotonous. Late in the 4th quarter, the quarterback added insult to injury by passing for two back-to-back touchdowns.

4 Wordiness MENUEXIT How could you revise this sentence using more vivid language? Late in the 4th quarter, the quarterback added insult to injury by passing for two back-to-back touchdowns. PREVIOUS Tired Language Click to see a revision Tired language is dull, unimaginative, and monotonous.

5 Wordiness MENUEXIT Late in the 4th quarter, the quarterback added insult to injury by passing for two back-to-back touchdowns. ORIGINAL REVISED Late in the 4th quarter, the quarterback stunned the opposition by passing for two back-to-back touchdowns. Tired Language PREVIOUS Next Tired language is dull, unimaginative, and monotonous.

6 Wordiness MENUEXIT Which word is an example of tired language in this sentence? The teacher looked mad when I was late for class again. PREVIOUS Tired Language Click to see the tired language

7 Wordiness MENUEXIT Which word is an example of tired language in this sentence? The teacher looked mad when I was late for class again. PREVIOUS Tired Language Continue…

8 Wordiness MENUEXIT How could you revise this sentence to get rid of the tired word? The teacher looked mad when I was late for class again. PREVIOUS Tired Language Click to see a revision

9 Wordiness MENUEXIT The teacher looked mad when I was late for class again. ORIGINAL REVISED The teacher looked exasperated and impatient when I was late for class again. Tired Language PREVIOUS Next

10 Wordiness Use the following strategies to revise tired language. Click on the strategy you want to explore. MENUEXIT MENU Tired Language Replace Clichés Use Precise Nouns Find Vivid Verbs Replace Empty Modifiers

11 Wordiness MENUEXIT Replace Clichés A cliché is an overused, worn-out expression. Tired Language Continue…

12 Wordiness MENUEXIT Replace Clichés Tired Language Here are examples of some familiar clichés. You have probably heard these expressions before. happy as a lark easier said than done call it quits reinvent the wheel Next A cliché is an overused, worn-out expression. PREVIOUS

13 Wordiness MENUEXIT Replace Clichés Tired Language Use these strategies to avoid clichés: Find a fresh image for what you want to say. Connect with feeling. For example, how does boredom feel? Is it endless, dull, weary? Use ordinary language. If you can't think of a fresh image, then choose clear, everyday words instead of a worn-out expression. Next PREVIOUS

14 Wordiness MENUEXIT Replace Clichés What is the cliché in this sentence? The politician gave a sigh of relief when the debate finally ended. Click to see the cliché Tired Language PREVIOUS

15 Wordiness MENUEXIT Replace Clichés What is the cliché in this sentence? The politician gave a sigh of relief when the debate finally ended. Tired Language PREVIOUS Continue…

16 Wordiness MENUEXIT Replace Clichés How could you avoid the cliché in this sentence? The politician gave a sigh of relief when the debate finally ended. Tired Language PREVIOUS Click to see a revision

17 Wordiness MENUEXIT The politician gave a sigh of relief when the debate finally ended. ORIGINAL REVISED The politician loosened his tie and relaxed his shoulders when the debate finally ended. Tired Language PREVIOUS Replace Clichés The revised sentence describes the politician’s actions. These details show rather than tell how he felt when the debate ended. Menu

18 Wordiness MENUEXIT Use Precise Nouns Tired Language Use nouns that give specific information. Replace common nouns with the names of specific places, people, or things. Common Noun dog drink game book Specific Noun poodle coffee, lemonade chess, baseball dictionary, almanac

19 Wordiness MENUEXIT Use Precise Nouns Tired Language Use nouns that give specific information. Replace common nouns with the names of specific places, people, or things. Common Noun dog drink game book Specific Noun poodle coffee, lemonade chess, baseball dictionary, almanac Next

20 Wordiness MENUEXIT Use Precise Nouns What are the non-specific nouns in this sentence? The man spotted the car by the side of the road. Tired Language PREVIOUS Click to see the non-specific nouns

21 Wordiness MENUEXIT Use Precise Nouns What are the non-specific nouns in this sentence? The man spotted the car by the side of the road. Tired Language PREVIOUS Continue…

22 Wordiness MENUEXIT Use Precise Nouns How would you revise this sentence to use precise nouns? The man spotted the car by the side of the road. Tired Language PREVIOUS Click to see a revision

23 Wordiness MENUEXIT The man spotted the car by the side of the road. ORIGINAL REVISED The police officer spotted the dark blue minivan in the breakdown lane. Tired Language PREVIOUS Use Precise Nouns Menu How would you revise this sentence to use precise nouns?

24 Wordiness MENUEXIT Find Vivid Verbs Tired Language Use verbs that convey a true sense of the action you want to describe. Generic Verb talk give drink look Specific Verb chat, gossip, discuss confer, bestow, grant swallow, slurp, gulp scrutinize, glimpse, peek

25 Wordiness MENUEXIT Find Vivid Verbs Tired Language Use verbs that convey a true sense of the action you want to describe. Generic Verb talk give drink look Specific Verb chat, gossip, discuss confer, bestow, grant swallow, slurp, gulp scrutinize, glimpse, peek Next

26 Wordiness MENUEXIT Find Vivid Verbs What are the generic verbs in this sentence? The car stopped after it turned the corner and hit the streetlight. Tired Language PREVIOUS Click to see the generic verbs

27 Wordiness MENUEXIT Find Vivid Verbs What are the generic verbs in this sentence? The car stopped after it turned the corner and hit the streetlight. Tired Language PREVIOUS Continue…

28 Wordiness MENUEXIT Find Vivid Verbs What specific verbs could you use in this sentence instead of the generic verbs? The car stopped after it turned the corner and hit the streetlight. Tired Language PREVIOUS Click to see a revision

29 Wordiness MENUEXIT The car stopped after it turned the corner and hit the streetlight. ORIGINAL REVISED The car screeched to a stop after it clipped the corner and sideswiped the streetlight. Tired Language PREVIOUS Find Vivid Verbs Menu What specific verbs could you use in this sentence instead of the generic verbs?

30 Wordiness MENUEXIT Replace Empty Modifiers Tired Language Modifiers (adjectives and adverbs) can have many shades of meaning. Choose modifiers that convey exactly what you mean. You may also need to add details to make your meaning clear. Generic Modifier awful pretty interesting fun Specific Modifier appalling, frightful, disgusting stunning, gorgeous, attractive absorbing, captivating, fascinating amusing, enjoyable, entertaining

31 Wordiness MENUEXIT Replace Empty Modifiers Tired Language Modifiers (adjectives and adverbs) can have many shades of meaning. Choose modifiers that convey exactly what you mean. You may also need to add details to make your meaning clear. Generic Modifier awful pretty interesting fun Specific Modifier appalling, frightful, disgusting stunning, gorgeous, attractive absorbing, captivating, fascinating amusing, enjoyable, entertaining Next

32 Wordiness MENUEXIT Replace Empty Modifiers What are the empty modifiers in this sentence? The acrobat performed a nice somersault on the thin high wire to the applause of the watchful crowd. Tired Language PREVIOUS Click to see the empty modifiers

33 Wordiness MENUEXIT Replace Empty Modifiers Tired Language PREVIOUS Continue… What are the empty modifiers in this sentence? The acrobat performed a nice somersault on the thin high wire to the applause of the watchful crowd.

34 Wordiness MENUEXIT Replace Empty Modifiers What more specific modifiers could you use in this sentence? The acrobat performed a nice somersault on the thin high wire to the applause of the watchful crowd. Tired Language PREVIOUS Click to see a revision

35 Wordiness MENUEXIT The acrobat performed a nice somersault on the thin high wire to the applause of the watchful crowd. ORIGINAL REVISED The acrobat performed a graceful somersault on the threadlike high wire to the applause of the captivated crowd. Tired Language PREVIOUS Replace Empty Modifiers What more specific modifiers could you use in this sentence? Next

36 Wordiness MENUEXIT Tired Language What is the empty modifier in this sentence? My summer job was terrible. Replace Empty Modifiers Click to see the empty modifier PREVIOUS

37 Wordiness MENUEXIT What is the empty modifier in this sentence? My summer job was terrible. Tired Language PREVIOUS Continue… Replace Empty Modifiers

38 Wordiness MENUEXIT How could you revise this sentence to make it less tired and more descriptive? My summer job was terrible. Tired Language PREVIOUS Click to see a revision Replace Empty Modifiers

39 Wordiness MENUEXIT How could you revise this sentence to make it less tired and more descriptive? My summer job was terrible. Tired Language Replace Empty Modifiers

40 Wordiness MENUEXIT My summer job was terrible. Tired Language colorful. Replace Empty Modifiers terrible.

41 Wordiness MENUEXIT Tired Language Replace Empty Modifiers My summer job was

42 Wordiness MENUEXIT Tired Language My summer job was Replace Empty Modifiers mind-numbingly tedious.

43 Wordiness MENUEXIT Tired Language PREVIOUS Menu Replace Empty Modifiers My summer job was mind-numbingly tedious.


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