1.  1 Chapter 3 Social Connections

2. Learning Outcomes  Define screentime/edevices interference  Define Sternberg’s Love Triangle  Define what is nonverbal communication  Identify differences between passive, assertive and aggressive 2

3. Healthy Personal Relationships  Relationships are at the heart of human experience  Family  Community  Classmates, teammates, colleagues  Acquaintances, friends, intimate partners  Relationships are fraught with difficulties  Divorce  Single-parent and blended families  Living alone  Electronic connections 3

4. Screen Time Screen time" is a term used for activities done in front of a screen, such as watching TV, working on a computer, or playing video games. Most American children spend about 3 hours a day watching TV. Added together, all types of screen time can total 5 to 7 hours a day.

5. How much is too much screentime for children? A.Under one hour B.Under two hours C.Under three hours D.No limit

6. Current Guidelines  Children under age 2 should have no screen time.  Limit screen time to 1 to 2 hours a day for children over age 2.  Despite what ads may say, videos that are aimed at very young children do not improve their development.

7. Social skills, EQ, and Edevices  Electronic devices are extremely popular with young people these days. Many log countless hours on IPads, smartphones, and other devices. A new study by researchers at UCLA’s Children’s Digital Media Center (CDMC), Los Angeles has found that children’s social skills may be deteriorating as they spend large amounts of time using digital media. The study is currently available online in the journal Computers in Human Behavior and will be published in the October print edition of the journal. Electronic devicesUCLA’s Children’s Digital Media Center (CDMC), Los Angeles childrensocial skills Computers in Human Behavior 7

8. Do edevices interfere with communication at times? A.Strongly Agree B.Agree C.Somewhat Agree D.Neutral E.Somewhat Disagree F.Disagree G.Strongly Disagree

9. A Healthy Sense of Self  Relationships begin with who you are as an individual and what you bring to the relationship  Examples of important attributes are:  A reasonably high self-esteem  A capacity for empathy  The ability both to be alone and to be with others 9

10. Sternberg’s Love Triangle  Sternberg’s theory: love has three dimensions  Intimacy, passion, and commitment  Different combinations produce different kinds of love Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. 10

11. Sternberg’s Love Triangle Copyright © 2015 McGraw-Hill Education. All rights reserved. No reproduction or distribution without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education. 11

12. Nonverbal Behavior and Metamessages  Nonverbal communication includes facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, body position and movement, and spatial behavior  Nonverbal and verbal communication cues make up the metamessage, or the unspoken message you send or get when communicating 12

13. Non Verbal  Physical appearance and dress  Body movement and posture  Facial expressions  Gestures  Eye contact  Tone and volume  Touch  Silence

14. Non Communication

15. Non Verbal Communication  Amy Cuddy’s Non Verbal Ted Talk Power Poses!!!  https://youtu.be/zmR2A9TnIso https://youtu.be/zmR2A9TnIso  http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/no nverbal-communication.htm http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/no nverbal-communication.htm

16. Group A and B - Experiment  Group A go outside  Think of a fun story  Light and entertaining  You have three minutes and then come back in. Group B stay inside for further directions Reflection Now Group A go outside and Group B stay inside What works better and why?

17. Use of Words. Inflection Matters  What does it matter?  Let’s reflect on the following  Use of up-talk- inflection matters  Sarcasm http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/19/things-you- should-never-say-at-work_n_2717990.html http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/19/things-you- should-never-say-at-work_n_2717990.html All these involve communication techniques or lack of using direct communication.

18. Communication Skills  Passive or Unassertive  Assertive  Aggressive  Passive Aggressive

19. Passive  Not expressive feelings, needs or ideas  Letting boundaries be crossed  May not know what boundaries are  Allowing others to select your rights  Problems goes unsolved Give an example/scenario of what passive communication would look or sound like. What are the immediate or long-term outcomes? On a scale of 1 low to 10 high, how would you rate yourself as a passive communicator?

20. Assertive  Use of “I statements”  Honest and open  Direct and clear with needs  Timely Give a scenario of assertive language to problem solve. What were the long and short term outcomes? How would you rate yourself as an assertive communicator on a scale from 1(low) to 10 (high)

21. Aggressive  Uses “You statements”  Dominating and uses bullying techniques  Patronizing In the short run aggressive communications may get what they want and get a sense of power. In the long run, it dissolves trust. Give a scenario of aggressive language to problem solve. What were the long and short term outcomes? How would you rate yourself as an assertive communicator on a scale from 1(low) to 10 (high)

22. Passive Aggressive

23. Passive Aggressive cont.

24. Passive Aggressive  Combination of passive and aggressive  Confusing with indirect communication  Not direct  Use of sarcasm with the problem  Can keep people from resolving issues, hurt feelings, and encourages distrust Give a scenario of assertive language to problem solve. What were the long and short term outcomes? How would you rate yourself as an assertive communicator on a scale from 1(low) to 10 (high)

25. Stages of A Relationship  Attraction  Uncertainty  Exclusivity  Intimacy  Engagement  Mars and Venus on a Date 25

26. RELATIONSHIPS : Healthy or

27. IF YOU WANT TO LIVE OUT YOUR DREAMS AND ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS YOU HAVE TO PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE RELATIONSHIPS YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH.

28. RELATIONSHIPS- WE ALL HAVE THEM

29. WE ARE SURROUNDED BY RELATIONSHIPS

30. WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIPS DO YOU HAVE? PARENTS GRANDPARENTS BROTHERS/SISTERS GIRLFRIENDS/BOYFRIENDS AUNTS/UNCLES FRIENDS TEAM MATES CO-WORKERS CLASSMATES

31. ARE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEM HEALTHY OR TOXIC?

32. WHAT DOES “HEALTHY” MEAN?  SOMETHING THAT GIVES US THE FEELING OF “WELL BEING”  BENEFICIAL IN PRESERVING OR RESTORING HEALTH  GOOD FOR SOMEONE – PHYSICALLY, MORALLY, OR BOTH

33. WHAT DOES TOXIC MEAN?  POISONOUS  DEADLY  DANGEROUS  HARMFUL

34. CHARACTERISTICS OF TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS  DISHONEST  SELFISH  RUDE  NEGATIVE  PUTS YOU DOWN  UNPREDICTABLE  DRAINING  FULL OF DRAMA  CONTROLLING  ADDICTION  USER  ABUSE

35. RESULTS OF TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS DRAINED LOW SELF-ESTEEM ABUSE CONTROL BEING STUCK

36. REMEMBER YOUR GOALS & DREAMS….

37. THINK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS……… Is it healthy? * Am I happy? * Is it fun? * Is it building me up or bringing me down? *Am I really able to be myself? *Am I free? *Is it safe? Do my friends/family like him/her?