1. Be Assertive 10 Tips for Handling Tough Situations

2. Know Thyself Be honest about what you feel and why you feel it Try to judge your reactions objectively Discuss with an impartial friend.

3. The Golden Rule Treat others the way you would want to be treated. People would prefer to know if they did something wrong than to get the cold shoulder. And people like being told in a caring and compassionate way.

4. LISTEN Make eye contact Tilt your head to one side Reiterate what was said If you need time, say so.

5. Be honest, and caring Use inclusive language like “us” and “let’s” rather than “you.” Say, and mean, nice things. Don’t beat around the bush.

6. Offer solutions Don’t just identify the problem. Think creatively What motivates this person?

7. Timing is Everything Nip a difficult situation in the bud. Take the time to reflect on the best course of action.

8. Avoid overstatements and generalizations You always react this way –Last Tuesday we had a similar problem, and I remember that you said something like this at the time. You never listen to me. –Three times now, in three different ways, I’ve asked you nicely not to borrow my things without asking.

9. Manipulation Good I should wait until the afternoon to talk with Suzanne. That’s when she’s most cheerful. Bad Suzanne’s boyfriend just broke up with her and she needs someone to hangout with this weekend. I’ll threaten her if she doesn’t give in.

10. Control The only behavior you control is your own. Trying to change others is futile and destructive.