1. Sermon Christian Kindness Eph 4:31-32 Introduction

2. Though God still smiles upon us as His people in Christ and delights in us as His children, He still is grieved by our sin.

3. 29]Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may give grace those who listen. 30] And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

4. [31] Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. [32] Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

5. WHAT DOES IT MEAN THAT WE CAN GRIEVE THE Holy Spirit?

6. It means that the Christian life is a living relationship, not a sterile to do list. Putting on the New Self is described further in v. 31-32

7. THE SCOPE OF CHRISTIAN KINDNESS v 31– it replaces ALL expressions of the old heart THE SIGNS OF CHRISTIAN KINDNESS v. 32 (the opposite of anger, wrath, clamor, slander) It Reaches Out to Others - you can’t be kind all alone It is Tender hearted

8. FORGIVENESS God's forgiveness takes sin seriously and so should ours. God's forgiveness reckons with a real settling of accounts and so should ours. God's forgiveness was costly and so is ours. God's forgiveness is real and ours should be too

9. LOVE The love of Christ for us is undeserved, and so we shouldn't insist that people earn our love and our kindness either. The love of Christ for us was sacrificial and self-denying, and ours should be too.

10. SUPERNATURAL DIMENSION OF CHRISTIAN KINDNESS v 31 There must be a power that takes bitterness and malice from my heart and makes me tenderhearted and kind.

11. SOURCE OF CHRISTIAN KINDNESS - v 32; 5:1-2 We must believe that Christ died in our place. Verse 2: We must believe that God has forgiven all our sins. Verse 32: Finally we must believe that we are loved by God. Verse 1

12. “What good thing is my sinful nature fixing my heart on, what is it making ultimate, what is it fixing my imagination on so that I’m looking to it for things that only Jesus can give me?”

13. What person in your life are you in conflict with or alienated from at this time? If no one comes to mind then consider….. What person in your life at this time is the hardest for you to “be tender hearted and forgiving” toward?

14. When you think about this person, how do you react inwardly, feel, think, talk about, and treat this person? Why? Explain why you react reacted to this person as you do. (Did this person sin against you? In what specific way?

15. How do your emotions drive your thinking and treatment of this person? How would you think about or treat them differently if your feelings were under the control of the Holy Spirit?

16. John Newton “No word should leave your mouth and no pen should hit paper until you realize that the one you are criticizing, when you get to heaven, will be dearer to you than your closest loved one. And you are not ready to talk aright until that is palpable to your soul.”

17. REPENTANCE IS THE DOOR TO CHANGE The “90/10” rule teaches us that a conflict will not be entirely my fault or entirely the other person’s fault; we both have some role in the problem, even if it is only “10%”.

18. Consider this question, “Have I treated this person in word, thought and deed the way I would want to be treated?” How can you relate to and love this person in a way that can only be explained by the Holy Spirit?

19. What would it look like for you to lead with repentance toward God and this person? (Remember your “10%”)

20. Biblical Sanctification is consciously and continually Christ centered.