1. Solution-Focused Conflict Resolution Skills Part 2 August 8, 2013 2013 FADAA/FCCMH Annual Conference Arlene Brett Gordon, Ph.D., LMFT Based on work of Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg 1

2. Solution-Focused Brief Therapy developed by Steve deShazer & Insoo Kim Berg 1. Focus on the client’s strengths and abilities. 2. Find out what is working and do more of it. 3. Clients have the resources for change. 4. Clients generate workable solutions. 5. Change starts small and has a ripple effect. 6. Focus on the future when the problem has been solved. 7. Focus on when the problem is not a problem. 2

3. Conflict Over Time Current State Transition State Desired State Solution-Focused Conflict Resolution is: Future focused Based on shared goals Values resiliency and hope (Bannink) 3

4. Exceptions The times when the problem does not exist. Be curious as to how clients have successfully solved problems in the past. Focus on skills and strengths. Highlight those times when the conflict does not exist. Notice those times when clients are able to resolve their challenges in a positive way. 4

5. Miracle Question Establishing a shared goal What will it look like when the conflict is solved? –What would each participant be doing differently? –Who else would notice? –How would this affect their life? Help clients envision a clear picture of what life will look like once the conflict is resolved. 5

6. Create Win/Win Resolutions Brainstorming –Embracing diverse ideas –Learning from each other what they need to see different –Listening to hear each other’s perspective –Body Language Signals Gestures 6

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8. Arlene Brett Gordon, Ph.D., LMFT 8 Steps to Collaborative SF Conflict Resolution It’s all about COMMUNICATION 1. Encourage clients to willing listen to each other in a non- defensive and non-judgmental way 2. Encourage clients to be open to learning new ways of doing things. 3. Complement what the client is learning and their willingness to work on solving their differences. 4. Help the client “save face” Remember: Clients are often overwhelmed and stuck. They are likely to see problems as unresolvable.

9. Arlene Brett Gordon, Ph.D., LMFT 9 Use Scaling Questions On a scale of 1 to 10’ 10 meaning the most hopeful and 1 meaning the opposite, how hopeful are you that you will ______? –What is the level of commitment to the resolving the conflict? –How confident are they? –How hopeful are they that they will find solutions? Measure progress –Where is this client in the process of change? –What are the next steps? 1 5 10

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11. Scaling Goals Goal _______ Client Action Steps: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Action Steps: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 11

12. Relational Perspective What will be different when conflict is resolved? How might that affect your relationship? Who would notice? What will your children learn about handling conflict? How will this inform your decision making in the future? 12

13. Sliding Doors Future with Conflict The Conflict 13 Resolution

14. Conflict BoxResolution Box StepsResources Solution Focused Resolution Square Scale 14

15. References Bannick, F. (2010). Handbook of solution-focused conflict management. Cambridge, MA: Hogrefe Berg, I. K. (1994). Family-based services: A solution-focused approach. New York: W. W. Norton. Berg, I. K., & Kelly, S. (2000). Building solutions in child protective services. New York: W. W. Norton. Berg, I. K., & Steiner, T. (2003). Children’s solution work. New York: W. W. Norton. Cade, B. & O’Hanlon, W.H. (1993). A brief guide to brief therapy. NY: Norton. Friedman, S., & Fanger, M. T. (1991). Expanding therapeutic possibilities: Getting results in brief psychotherapy. Lanham, MA: Lexington Books. Nelson, T.S. (Ed.). (2005) Education and training in Solution Focused Brief Therapy. Binghamton, NY: Hawthorn Press. Reiter, M. D., (2010). Hope and Expectancy in Solution-Focused Brief Therapy. Journal of Family Psychotherapy, 21, 132- 148. Pichot, T. & Dolan, Y. (2003). Solution-Focused Brief Therapy: Its effective use in agency settings. New York: Hawthorn Press. Walter, J., & Peller, J. (1992). Becoming solution-focused in brief therapy. New York: Brunner-Mazel. And personal communication gathered from hundreds of conversations with Insoo Kim Berg between 1991 and 1/6/2007. FFS: 2007 15

16. Thank you 16