1. * Having difficult conversations Lorna Wilson 14 th November 2013 02920 768104 lwilson@acas.org.uk

2. The 4 key elements face the problem understanding conflict techniques you can use prepare

3. The catastrophic fantasy Things will get worse We’ll be rejected or attacked We’ll hurt the other person The relationship will suffer Conceptual nature – “I don’t have the skills…”

4. Organisational Consequences? “collective cowardice” Reward positive v ignore negative No consequences for poor performers

5. What is conflict? “A condition between workers whose jobs are interdependent, who feel angry, who perceive the other's, as being at fault and who act in ways that cause a business problem” Daniel Dana: Conflict Resolution

6. Causes of conflict include: Management style Poor management Lack of “face to face” communication Lack of clarity around job role/objectives Personality clashes Change Harassment – real or perceived Bullying – real or perceived Working environment

7. Effects of conflict include: Absence Low morale Poor performance Stress Use of formal procedures Legal action Public arguments

8. Personal Conflict Styles Avoid Accommodate Compete Collaborate

9. Benefits of the ‘Collaborative’ style Win/Win solution Better decisions Builds relationships Greater satisfaction Longer lasting solutions

10. Techniques you can use T E X T body language rapport use silence show empathy

11. Prepare think about the outcome consider your approach gather the documents you need gather information

12. Structure the conversation set the appropriate tone state what the issues are give evidence and examples focus on the problem and not the person ask for an explanation agree a way forward provide support

13. How Acas can help mediation training e-learning website acas.org.uk publications Customer services team 08457 38 37 36 Acas helpline 08457 47 47 47