1. Seeing the Best In, Bringing the Best To, Expecting the Best From,
Every Student, Every Day
What is all of this fuss about the brain? When our wide-eyed 4K children walk through our doors are some already at a significant disadvantage in terms of their learning? As one can see by these 3 year old brain images, a nurturing environment positively impacts brain development as noted on the left image. In contrast an environment of neglect can have the detrimental effects on the right. As public educators, we need to know that the first 1000 plus days are critical and find a way to share this with parents.
The latest brain development research confirms that children flourish in safe stimulating and loving environments.
Image Source: Wisconsin Council on Children and Families

2. Wonderful Woman A Wonderful woman who lived in a shoe
She had so many children
She knew exactly what to do
She held them, she rocked them
And tucked them in bed
She was a wonderful woman
And you are a wonderful child
We want to make daily connections with our students designed to develop strong neural pathways to their highest brain centers. We can transform hurtful Nursery Rhymes, such as the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe, who obviously lost it, into helpful connections with a child: A Wonderful Woman Lived in a Shoe. She had so many children she knew exactly what to do. She held them, she rocked them and tucked them in bed. She was a Wonderful Woman and you are a Wonderful Child. Our children need to hear that they are wonderful.
Conscious Discipline®, School Family® and Brain Smart® are trademarks of Loving Guidance Inc

3. Connections with Eye Contact, Touch, and Presence
Create a new neural pathway to higher brain centers.
Release the nerve growth factor.
We may ”like the original Old Woman, … not know what to do” when our students come to us without the ability to attend, maintain focus and respond. Or we can make these critical neural connections with eye contact, downloading our calm, the release of the “nerve growth factor” that comes from touch to the skin our largest body organ which is also the “sheath over the brain” for brain development, all while creating a moment of presence reducing stress and anxiety.
Conscious Discipline®, School Family® and Brain Smart® are trademarks of Loving Guidance Inc

4. We expect most of these skills to be operating for the children in our classrooms, regardless of their age. Executive skills take about 24 properly supported years to fully mature.
Executive State Skills, from our highest brain centers, begin to come on line in the preschool years, yet we often expect our students to enter school with all of these skills fully developed. If we were honest, we might have frontal lobe skills that beg for development such as impulse control, meta-cognition or goal achievement. The good news is that these skills actually take 24 years of careful development for acquisition. So if you are the parent of a teenager or a college graduate who is taking time to “find themselves”, there is hope!

5. I just want to be heard!!
So how do we view misbehaviors in our students? Maybe in your personal life, you wanted someone to listen to you and while you usually have solid communication skills, you screamed at them. In moments like this do you hope that others will see your intent as opposed to your actions. You just wanted to be heard. We are all triggered multiple times in a day causing upset. However, we can choose to actively calm ourselves and move from taking suggestions from a “brain stem reptile” to finding our brilliance.

6. Stop Take a deep breath And Relax
The simple task is to be a STAR. S - Stop, T -Take a Deep Breath A -And and R- Relax. These skills come from Conscious Discipline, the work of Dr. Becky Bailey. I have studied with her for the past 15 years and share these skills as a Certified Instructor across the US. Imagine with me for a moment that you witness a student who pushes another child. First bring oxygen to your frontal lobes, join me please in STAR breathing, Stop, Take a Deep Breath and Relax. Now say, “You wanted” (You wanted).

7. Attribute positive intent
State the child’s positive motive, “You wanted ____.”
Give the benefit of the doubt to the child,
“You didn’t know the words to ____?”
State the limit and why it is needed.
“You may not ____! ____ hurts.”
Teach the child what you want her/him to do in the situation.
“When you want ___, say____.”
These words go beyond the action to the intent, “You wanted him to see you, so you pushed him like this”. Setting the limited, you tell the child, “No pushing, pushing hurts.” Most importantly you teach the child what you want them “to do” by saying, “When you want your friend to see you say, “Look at me, I’ve got something to tell you.” The child practices. You continue, “You are doing it! You are ready to find out if your friend is OK.” We teach because they have missing skills or skills that cannot be found in the moment.
Conscious Discipline®, School Family® and Brain Smart® are trademarks of Loving Guidance Inc

8. “He will never stay a whole class period, if he comes at all.”
Situations of positive intent come at all grade levels. Fresh, new educators who enter the classroom like that wide-eyed 4K student, not jaded, but open to possibility are a treasure in education. Last year, one such first year teacher told me of how he stood before his high school social studies class only to witness a student walk out of the room minutes after the class began. The other students responded to the teacher’s confusion with the words, “He leaves like that all the time.” and “He will never stay a whole period, if he comes at all.”

9. After class the teacher wanted to know more, so went to find the student. Standing over the student, the teacher commented, “You left my class today. You must have had something very important to do.” Their eyes met, continuing the teacher said, “I am responsible for you when you are in my classroom. Here is the thing, the next time you think that you need to leave for something important, talk to me and we will work something out, otherwise I expect you to be there for the whole class period. Can you do that?” The student committed. The teacher’s response was, “Great, I can’t wait to teach you.”

10. Seeing the Best In, Bringing the Best To, Expecting the Best From
Every Student, Every Day
For information about Conscious Discipline
Months later I asked this teacher, “How is that student doing that we talked about?” The young teacher replied, “He is doing great mom. He is coming everyday. The other thing that I did was something you said Mom about giving him a job. Each day after class he takes an “important” envelope for me and drops it in the office on his way to his next class. I asked the office staff, “Could you greet him with something like: It makes my day when you stop by and maybe even find out something about him.” The office where he was sent for correction, has now become his place of connection and support.
I Wish You Well!