1. Death & Dying Test Review

2. Why we fear death? Most fear is of the “unknown.
Death is the greatest “unknown.”
Hiding from it/never talking about it will make the fear worse.
Deal with fear by making it known

3. Fears associated with death: Know 2 in each.
1. Loss of life
Leaving loved ones
Unfinished business
Giving up our possessions
2. Process of dying
Losing control
Indignity
Pain or Discomfort
3. Death itself -- Afterlife
Unknown
Possible punishment
Possible annihilation
4. The Dead
Ghosts
Evil spirits

4. Why North Americans can more easily deny death: (3)
No war on our own soil.
No public executions.
Longer life-span. (makes us further removed from death).
Removed from mainstream living (nursing homes, hospitals, etc.)
Society glorifies youth

5. “Grief Work”
Grief Work is necessary because part of us has been invested in another – and we must retrieve that part of us that was lost. (rebuilding)
Grief Work involves:
Facing
Breaking
Replacing
You are not replacing the PERSON, just the activities and the human (earthly) interaction.

6. Preparing for Grief Education (Example: this course!)
Philosophy of Life
Must be broad enough to include a “philosophy of death.”
Build sound community practice\
Wakes, funerals, etc.

7. Emotions Associated with Grief (3) but be able to explain each
Fear – of being alone
Guilt
Neurotic Guilt - Guilt feelings out of proportion to the cause
Anger
a. Directed Outward (anger at others)
b. Directed Inward (depression – angry at self)
At God
At the person
Emptiness
Frustration & Helplessness
WHO DO WE GRIEVE FOR? OURSELVES!

8. “Abnormal Grief”
Experiencing these mood changes and emotions (anger, fear, guilt, etc.) after approximately one month.
Widows and widowers may take longer

9. True & False of Suicide Myth or Truth?
Teenage suicide is preventable. True
Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for age and number is increasing dramatically. True
Young people commit suicide at a rate of one every hour and 40 minutes in the U.S. True
Teenagers talk about suicide to get attention. True BUT ….
All teenagers who commit suicide are depressed. True (but all depressed teens aren’t suicidal).
Suicidal people really want to die and you can’t stop them. False
Talking about suicide will cause someone to try it. False
If a person wants to kill themselves, we have no right to stop them. False
Once suicidal, you are suicidal forever. False
Suicidal thoughts are a sign that the person is “crazy.” False
The suicide rate is highest among the elderly. True
The most common time for suicide is mid-winter. False

10. Mortido Freud says that all people have a “death wish” or mortido
Mortido can show itself in (3):
Smoking
Drinking
Drug use
Sexual promiscuity
Risky behavior
Etc.

11. Émile Durkheim French Sociologist
4 Types of Suicide Define, not list
Egoistic  Person feels detached from the world – alone. Nobody understands or cares.
Altruistic  Person feels that the good of society is the greater good, over their own needs – even over their life -- “suicide for a cause”
Anomic  Caused BY a breakdown of society. Person feels unable to live in the society; needs can never be met.
Fatalistic  Living under an oppressive government, living in prison, etc. Person feels it is better to die.

12. Most common times for suicide:
Suicide rate is highest among the elderly They are at the bottom of the list for suicide threats and attempts HOWEVER at the TOP of the list for completed suicides.
Most common times for suicide:
Christmas
Springtime
Because of the CONTRAST between how the person feels and the outside world.

13. Warning Signs of Suicide Know meaning of each and be able to list 3
Suicide Attempt
Suicide Threat
Situational Hint
Family Hint
Emotional Hint
Mental Illness
Other Hints (3) – Giving away possessions, suddenly “happy” after long depression, gathering weapons, preoccupied with death, making “final arrangements” ….etc

14. How can we help someone in this situation
How can we help someone in this situation? Know 3 but the MEANING of all.
Be aware of the warning signs
Maintain a relationship based on total acceptance of the person
Listen – let them vent
Don’t moralize or lecture them 

15. Identify the source of the distress
Identify the source of the distress. Just like talking to terminally ill patients – let them express feelings freely.
Look for problem-solving resources that the person may have – i.e. How have they solved problems before?
Identify the person’s values – Find what is important to them (family, friends, etc.) and capitalize on that!
Don’t try to handle the problem alone!
Remove from the premises any weapons or potentially dangerous medications

16. Afterlife after suicide
We can’t judge.
God calls ALL of us.
Free will! The consequences are ours.
Analogy of “Jumping and Living” – Karma
Suicide is a “permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

17. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Pioneer in bringing the discussion of death and dying out into the mainstream.
In the late 1960’s
Originated the 5 Stages of the Dying Process

18. 5 Stages of Dying Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance
Know how each stage works.
Know other areas where these stages might apply.

19. Dealing With the Dying
Be able to discuss 7 of the 14 points given in class.