1. Chapter 7 Family Communication

2. The importance of family communication Family is the site where our socialization begins Families help to create, instill, and frame cultural values Family communication is essential to the ways we see ourselves and the world, more generally Family relationships are often considered non-voluntary; for the most part, we do not choose our family

3. What is family? Family as a social ideal ◦ We have the tendency to think of family interaction as separate from other relational interaction. ◦ We have a tendency to idealize the concept of family. ◦ Our cultural idealization of the family is certainly partially constructed by the public discourse about the family as a highly important social institution.

4. Family as social ideal, continued Family is strongly implicated in religion What is allowable for family is continually debated in politics and is sanctioned by law We are told through laws, debates, advertisements what constitutes a “good” or “legitimate family”; one which is formed through biological ties, is heterosexual, monogamous, and with children

5. Functions of Family; Family functioning Scholars have identified two defining functions of family: nurturing and control. A family provides goods for its members in the forms of emotional support, educational support, and financial support. Family also exerts control over its members, not only in the form of parent/child behavioral control, but also in the form of socialization towards the world and in the form of enacting and disciplining social rules for the way family life and relationships are conducted. Although family often does and is certainly expected to provide members with positive rewards, family experiences are not always positive. Family relationships, more often than other relationships, are sites of violence.

6. Defining Family Structural definitions of family are those based on biological ties or legal ties (marriage or adoption) Functional definitions of family are those based on the ways family relationships work, and work well, such as by giving social and financial assistance Transactional definitions of family are those based on the communication that happens between people that serves to constitute a relationship as familial and to create family identity

7. Variations in Family Structure Nuclear family: parent(s) and children Extended family: larger familial networks the include grandparents, in-laws, aunts and uncles, cousins, and often times family members we never even meet Family of origin: the family in which you were born (or adopted); your parents and siblings. Family of descent : the larger ancestral clan from which you come Single parent families: families where one parent cares for a child; may be a result of a single parent adoption or can arise from situations where a formerly two parent family is disrupted via divorce, death, military separation, etc.

8. Variations in Family Structure Family of generativity and family of choice refer to the family you might choose to start for yourself consisting of a partner (or not) and your children, the latter sometimes being reserved for adopted family members Blended family: divorce, remarriage, and/or adoption has occurred, forming a new family configuration Bi-nuclear family: children may find themselves spending time with two nuclear-type blended families, where they have two sets of parents (one step in each set) and two households.

9. Structure meets Communication Koerner and Fitzpatrick’s typology of families: family communication can be classified along two dimensions: conformity orientation and conversation orientation. ◦ Conformity orientation refers to the degree to which families stress cohesion and homogeneity or alignment of values, beliefs, and attitudes ◦ Conversation orientation refers to the degree to which families encourage participation and interaction among members These two dimensions create a four-category typology of families, where families score either high or low on the two dimensions.

10. Family Types (Koerner & Fitzpatrick) Protective families are high in conformity and low in conversation orientation; parents rule and do not include other members in conversations or decision making; all members are expected to conform to the same value and belief set Pluralistic families are low in conformity and high in conversation orientation; everyone is encouraged to offer opinions and differences in attitudes and beliefs are not only tolerated, but encouraged. Consensual families are high in both conformity and conversation; parents expect children to follow rules and conform to common attitudes and beliefs, but do allow for conversations about these rules, attitudes and beliefs. Laissez-faire families are low in both conformity and conversation, allowing family members to make their own rules and follow them; not much talk about rules, attitude, values, or belief happens in this family type.

11. Systems Theory & Families Systems are goal-oriented and self-regulating. The parts (individuals) of the whole work together toward a common objective and that the system checks its own activity, adjusting when and how it needs to in order to continue toward the goal. Systems contain hierarchy(ies). One or more parts (individuals) of the system are in charge of other parts. Systems are mutually interdependent, that is the action/performance of one part (individual) will affect the actions/performance of the other parts (individual )and of the system as a whole (family).

12. Transacting Family: Features of Family Communication Interactions in a family do more than just send messages: They convey both content and relational components Families have norms, which are habitual rules for conducting family life and relationships, as well as rituals, which are formalized routines that guide certain types of events (e.g., dinner, birthdays). Families are sites where power or authority structures exist. Power can be formally structured in families, with parents regarded as the figure of power, but can also be informally structured or bidirectional where children have some form of power or influence as well.

13. Features of Family Communication All family members must negotiate quite frequently about privacy and its violation. There are often issues of communication boundary management and privacy management most often related to personal information that specific persons or members may have and that others do not know Family secrets may exist that members agree to conceal from other people outside the family group; such secrets can be either toxic or bonding

14. Features of Family Communication Family storytelling acts as an important mechanism for the creation of a sense of family identity. Family narratives indicate a family’s sense of what it is like in general but also indicate how it deals with difficult and traumatic experiences. Some families are more discourse-dependent than others, having to account for how they are family or why their family is different. Long-distance relationships may exist in families where kin-keeping becomes an important communicative act. One or a few members serve as reservoirs of family information, keeping everyone informed of the others’ whereabouts, status, well-being, and life events.

15. Family Communication is not static! Family is always dynamic and changing; something is usually going on in it. Viewed as a communication system, family communication is obviously always changing within that basic framework, even when the membership stays the same. Some of these changes are seen as normal growth—new children are born; children go to school; children become more independent, turn into adolescents, leave home, and start families of their own; the parents’ age and need to be looked after and eventually die. Other forms of fracture in the family are also transacted in discourse. Both big and gradual changes are accompanied by or transacted in dynamic patterns of communication.