1. Public Vs. Private Self Objectives: Understand that we represent many groups. See the relationship between the public self and the private self.

2. POP QUIZ on the EIGHT CUES Turn your Student Manual to page 54. See if you can remember the eight cues that people notice in a first impression and write them on the list. Don’t look back…just see what you can remember.

3. Tell me again… In the last lesson, we ended by talking about how critical making a good first impression is! Tell me again. Why is this so important? It’s important because relationships are important…because people are important…because what you have to say is important. It’s also important because you represent more than just yourself in this world.

4. At your tables… In five minutes, think of as many groups as you can that you represent. You represent many things other than just yourself. It’s important as leaders that we realize who we represent in public. List as many as you can in your manual.

5. Who do YOU represent? (Write the list on the board.) Stand up if you represent the group called out. COUNT how many times you stand. Did you realize that YOU were representing so many others?

6. A True Impression of Yourself In the last lesson on IMAGE, we talked about giving a TRUE impression of ourselves, in addition to making the right impression. So it is important that you realize that you represent yourself at all times… but you also represent much more that just yourself.

7. YOU represent others… You represent your family: When you make a fool of yourself in public, you’ve made your entire family look bad! Your race: When you mess up out there, in this culture, in the country we live in, sometimes people generalize it to your whole race, don’t they? It doesn’t seem fair, does it? But it is true. Your employer or company: You know when I’m out there, working for the school, and I mess up in public, it reflects badly on the entire school district and city!

8. Your school: Just one person who hits the headlines reflects on the whole school in a negative way! Your team: When one player messes up, believe me, it makes the entire team look bad! It’s like people don’t even care about how they act out there sometimes. Any groups or clubs you belong to, whether it be the band, athletics, student council, or church youth group… the actions of just one person can negatively reflect on all of the members! Do you hear what I’m saying?

9. Public Self vs. Private Self As leaders… the way you present yourself had better fit the way you live! You can’t present two different images to people… and be fit for leadership! You can’t have a public self that differs from your private self! You must be the same person at all times…wherever you are…when you’re alone and when you’re with others! Let’s watch…

10. Example of Public vs. Private Self Politicians are a perfect example of people who have a public self and a private self. Can anyone give an example of how they’ve seen this? Former Senator John Edwards (North Carolina-D) is an example of a politician with a public self and a private self. Listen to this brief account of part of his life.

11. What do YOU think? QUESTION? Is it okay to have a public self AND a private self? AGREE – go stand under the #2 DISAGREE – go stand under the #3 Talk with the people in your group about why you feel the way you do. Choose a spokesperson for your group. Spokespersons from each group will calmly and politely debate their group’s position.

12. What does it feel like when you discover someone is really not who they portrayed themselves to be? Let’s watch… How did he feel when the NCAA raised a question in his mind about the Touhy’s intentions? What was the real truth about who the Tuohy’s were?

13. What about when it’s not a misunderstanding? How do we feel then? When I find out that you guys do stuff that I wouldn’t expect because of the way you act around me, I feel betrayed. I feel let down. I feel disappointed. I feel sad. I feel sad for the people that hear and see you show yourself to be something else. When you mess up out there, we ought to feel that way for each other. When anybody messes up out there, that’s what we ought to feel…sad, betrayed, sick inside.

14. Who’s perfect? I’m not saying you have to be perfect, but I am saying that you need to live your life in a way that truly reflects your most deeply-held values and principles. You have to understand that, in a sense, you are marketing yourself to those around you. People will form impressions of you based on how you present yourself. Some of you may say, “But that isn’t fair!” Well, guess what, it might not be but welcome to the real world!

15. Conclusion… If you are a minority, from an ethnic minority, or handicapped in some way… you will have to work harder. That’s just a fact. Let’s not get caught complaining about it! Let’s do something good… something positive with it! Remember what you are marketing: first, you are marketing yourself. Second: you are marketing who you are and what you believe. You’re marketing: your beliefs, your throughts, your ideas, your hopes, and your solutions.

16. In your journal… Answer the question: “What do I want people to see when they look at me?”