1. Feel it Big on the Inside: Express it Smaller when in Public

2. Thinking about what people think about you
We think about each other
People remember when you make them feel comfortable and uncomfortable
Which do you think they are more likely to remember?
** More likely to remember when someone made us feel upset
We are most likely having
uncomfortable or weird thoughts

3. What do you remember about Buddy from the movie ELF?
Remember most of the funny things he did that made us have weird or uncomfortable thoughts
Dinner Scene
What are they thinking of Buddy?
How does his brother treat him at first?

4. How people feel about us affects how they treat us
What he does
How others FEEL about what he does
Consequences based on how others feel
How does he feel about how he was treated

5. How people feel about us affects how they treat us
What he does
How others FEEL about what he does
Consequences based on how others feel
How does he feel about how he was treated
Decorations,
Syrup, Burping
Brother feels uncomfortable, has weird thoughts
Brother ignores him after school, tries to get away from Buddy
Buddy keeps trying to get him to hang out, doesn’t understand why he wants to get away from him

6. We typically treat people….
Okay/well when we have good thoughts about them
More likely to treat someone badly when we have uncomfortable thoughts about them
Same goes for other people:
Likely they will treat you the best when they have good thoughts about you
Likely they will treat you the worst when they have weird or uncomfortable thoughts about you
Uncomfortable
thoughts

7. In Elf, when does the brother start treating Buddy better?
After school scene
After the snowball fight- he has good thoughts about Buddy helping him
As a result, he starts treating Buddy better
What he does
How others FEEL about what he does
Consequences based on how others feel
How does he feel about how he was treated

8. In Elf, when does the brother start treating Buddy better?
What he does
How others FEEL about what he does
Consequences based on how others feel
How does he feel about how he was treated
Helps out his brother with kids throwing snowballs at him
Brother has good thoughts; feels happy to have Buddy around
Hangs out with him, gets Christmas tree, they have fun
Buddy is happy to be hanging out with his brother

9. Read Comic & Complete Worksheet-
JT’s problem
What did he do
(expected/unexpected)
How others FEEL about his behavior
CONSEQUENCES based on how others feel
How does she FEEL about how she was treated
What’s the problem here?

10. What are things that we FEEL BIG?

11. Size of the Problem
Important to figure out how big a problem really is, because if you over-react to any size of problem, others can feel awkward, uncomfortable, or just plain annoyed
How much emotion should you let fly out when you’re really upset and how much is supposed to stay in?

12. How much emotion we show depends on:
Size of the problem
Our age
When a 4 year old throws a tantrum in a store about not getting a toy, what do we think?
When a 13 year old throws a tantrum in a store about not getting a video game they want, what do we think?
As we get older, we are supposed to get better at controlling how we express our emotions especially when out in public, like at school!

13. It’s okay to be upset or excited, but it’s how you handle it that can make others feel good or uncomfortable
Kyle is really, really mad- others around him feel okay if he shows he is a little irritated.
If Kyle starts yelling or pushing people- others will feel uncomfortable, which creates another problem

14. It’s okay to be upset or excited, but it’s how you handle it that can make others feel good or uncomfortable
Example:
Sara thinks something is hilarious in class, her best bet is to smile or laugh
If Sara goes into a crazy laughing fit, where she is loud and laughs for a long time- people will be uncomfortable or annoyed
Sheldon laughing hard

15. How did Sheldon make others feel?
What did he do
(expected/unexpected)
How others FEEL about his behavior
CONSEQUENCES based on how others feel
How does he FEEL about how he was treated
Laugh too much
Confused
Irritated
Annoyed
Might ask him to move his table
Lonely, confused, disappointed, sad

16. Feel it Big on the Inside- Express is Smaller when in Public (FBI-ESP)
May feel big emotions on the inside but keep the size of your expression smaller on the outside
What do we do to help us express it smaller?
Take deep breaths
Think about others (they will have uncomfortable thoughts if we over-react)
If home, go to your room for privacy; If at school, ask for a break
______________________

17. Feel it Big, Express it Small
Watch clips and determine if the person felt it big but expressed it small
WWC
What could Sheldon have done to express it small?
What did he do
(expected/unexpected)
How others FEEL about his behavior
CONSEQUENCES based on how others feel
How does he FEEL about how she was treated
Called the police
Confused
Stressed out
embarassed
Cant help you
People wont believe him
Upset

18. Feel it Big, Express it Small
Video Games
Did Sheldon express it small this time?
Is it appropriate to call the police if your apartment gets broken into?
- Yes, the reaction matches the size of the problem

19. Can anyone think about a time….

20. More on Public vs. Private

21. Why don’t we want to act on how we feel?
Big reactions make others (teachers, peers) upset too, which creates more problems
Teacher gets frazzled, concerned, or angry
Students get frustrated, embarrassed or irritated at the person
There are usually consequences for over-reacting
Nagged by a parent or teacher
Peers have weird thoughts
Might not want to be friends with you
Suspension/ Detention

22. What are the consequences for Expressing it Small in Public?
People have good thoughts about you
Class is able to go on with what they were doing
You might earn superstars on your point sheet
Peers might want to be friends with you

23. Social Behavior Map What the person DOES
How others FEEL about their behaviors
CONSEQUENCES based on how person feels
How does person FEEL about how he/she was treated

24. Complete worksheet
Write or draw how you would feel and how you would react to express it small

25. FBI-ESP Thinking and Saying are Two Different Things Brain Filters
Clips- Does Sheldon use his brain filter?
To Speak or Not to Speak worksheet

26. Clips TBBT- does sheldon use his brain filter?
TTBT- use of sarcasm to social fake