1. Take out the following: -Narrative Planning Sheet -Rough Draft

2. Revision makes the difference in our writing! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzgzim5m7oU Revision makes the difference in our writing! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzgzim5m7oU

3. Revising your Narrative…

4. Revision: Think about each of the following: Add another specific detail Remove a phrase or sentence that does not belongAdd at least one strong vocabulary word Add another creative image Improve your introduction sentence Add or improve the title Check all spelling and grammar Read your piece slowly to review what you wrote Mark your changes in a DIFFERENT COLOR Pens and Regular Pencils AWAY!

5. Revision Example: Narrative Lead My Moment “Moo!” I said, as we walked from house to house on Halloween night. We had been looking forward to trick or treating for a long time. Both of our favorite candy is skittles. I didn’t know it, but soon I would realize what a good friend Jack was to me. Revision Checklist: Improve your introduction sentence Add another creative image Add another specific detail Remove a phrase or sentence that does not belong Add at least one strong vocabulary word Add or improve the title Revision Checklist: Improve your introduction sentence Add another creative image Add another specific detail Remove a phrase or sentence that does not belong Add at least one strong vocabulary word Add or improve the title

6. Revision Example: Narrative Lead “Moo!” I said, as we walked from house to house on Halloween night. We had been looking forward to trick or treating for a long time. Both of our favorite candy is skittles. I didn’t know it, but soon I would realize what a good friend Jack was to me. Revision Checklist: Improve your introduction sentence Add another creative image Add another specific detail Remove a phrase or sentence that does not belong Add at least one strong vocabulary word Add or improve the title Revision Checklist: Improve your introduction sentence Add another creative image Add another specific detail Remove a phrase or sentence that does not belong Add at least one strong vocabulary word Add or improve the title Decked out in my cow costume, I said “Moooooo!” Crisp, cool My best friend, Jack and I Dependable My Moment A Spooky Night

7. Revision Example: Now you try it! Narrative Lead: Learning to ride a bike is always scary. My dad was about 35 years old and was very good at riding his bicycle. I was afraid I would get hurt. The day finally came where dad would teach me how to ride a bike in our driveway. Revision Checklist: Improve your introduction sentence Add another creative image Add another specific detail Remove a phrase or sentence that does not belong Add at least one strong vocabulary word Add or improve the title Revision Checklist: Improve your introduction sentence Add another creative image Add another specific detail Remove a phrase or sentence that does not belong Add at least one strong vocabulary word Add or improve the title

8. Revision: On your own paper! – Revision Checklist: – Improve your introduction sentence – Add another creative image – Add another specific detail – Remove a phrase or sentence that does not belong – Add at least one strong vocabulary word – Add or improve the title – Revision Checklist: – Improve your introduction sentence – Add another creative image – Add another specific detail – Remove a phrase or sentence that does not belong – Add at least one strong vocabulary word – Add or improve the title Use the checklist to revise your own paper. SHOW your revisions in a DIFFERENT color!

9. Your Name Give two specific pieces of positive feedback. Example: Your title sparked my interest. Give two specific pieces of positive feedback. Example: Your title sparked my interest. Give two areas that need improvement. Example: Add a stronger vocabulary word to replace “good”. Give two areas that need improvement. Example: Add a stronger vocabulary word to replace “good”. Step one: Read your partner’s paper. Step two: Fill out the feedback form for your partner. Step one: Read your partner’s paper. Step two: Fill out the feedback form for your partner.

10. “Snapshot” Moment Narrative: Lead: - Set the Mood - Describe Setting - Characters and RelationshipContext: - Important background information - What happened before this? Narrative Body: - Actions and Events - Descriptions and Figurative LanguageDialogue: - Follow all rules - Keep it simple! Choose dialogue carefullyTurn: - Highpoint of the action - Make the event stand out - Add drama to the momentClosing: - Return to images in the lead - Extend the original images - Describe the lessons learned (Be subtle!) Timeline: Today: Revisions and rough draft Tomorrow: Start final draft Friday: Final draft due at the end of class. Timeline: Today: Revisions and rough draft Tomorrow: Start final draft Friday: Final draft due at the end of class.