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© 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Chapter 2 Family Backgrounds and How They Influence Us Preview.

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Presentation on theme: "© 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Chapter 2 Family Backgrounds and How They Influence Us Preview."— Presentation transcript:

1 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Chapter 2 Family Backgrounds and How They Influence Us Preview

2 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Chapter Preview Preview

3 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Chapter Questions Does the family we grew up in affect the new family we make with a partner? How does how my parents treated me affect who I am now? What does my family of origin have to do with how I feel about my partner? Preview

4 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Chapter Questions What does how I was raised have to do with the closeness I have in my new family? How did I learn about sex from my family? What did I learn growing up about marriage and divorce? Preview

5 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Chapter Questions What did I learn in my family about proper behavior for men and women? What do different families think is important in life? What are some ways different families communicate about problems? Preview

6 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Guided Learning Process 1 st : Question 2 nd : Study 3 rd : Mark 4 th : Question again 5 th : Recite 6 th : Check 7 th : Restudy if necessary Preview

7 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Text Assignment Preview

8 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Does the family we grew up in affect the new family we make with a partner? How does the family influence who we become as adults? How much does our family influence us? How can looking at our family background help us understand ourselves? Preview A 1-2-3

9 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Does the family we grew up in affect the new family we make with a partner? What can I do now about how I was raised? How can I change the way I feel because of negative experiences in my childhood? Preview A 4-5

10 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. How important is approval to children? How does criticism and rejection affect children? How does how my parents treated me affect who I am now? Preview B 1-2

11 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. What does my family of origin have to do with how I feel about my partner? Preview C

12 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. What does how I was raised have to do with the closeness I have in my new family? Preview D

13 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. How did I learn about sex from my family? What are some good things I might have learned about sex from my parents? What are some negative things I might have learned about sex from my parents? How does what I experienced growing up affect my sexual behavior now? Preview E 1-2-3

14 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. What did I learn growing up about marriage and divorce? Preview F

15 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. What did I learn in my family about proper behavior for men and women? Preview G

16 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. What do different families think is important in life? How did the culture I grew up in affect what I think is important in life? How did my family of origin affect what I think is important in life? What did I learn in my family about how to work? Preview H 1-2-3

17 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. What are some ways different families communicate about problems? 7 different types of communication What does each of these communication patterns look and sound like? How well does each of these communication patterns work to resolve problems? Preview I

18 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Special Sections Preview SS

19 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Personal Perspective: Patterns of Communication Why does Alex have such a hard time communicating with his wife? Preview PP

20 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Cultural Perspectives: African American Family Strengths and Influences What is unique about African American families? Preview CP

21 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. At Issue Today: Values and Marital Satisfaction How does what we think is important in life affect how happy we are in our marriage? Preview AI

22 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. A Question of Policy: Family Environment How can government policies help parents be better parents? Preview QP

23 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Why Examine Family Background? Our family growing up had great impact on our present lives and relationships in two ways :

24 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Why Examine Family Background? Family is where we learned how to be a member of society. Our lessons were learned through generational transmission. We learned these lessons in four ways.

25 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. We learned in our family by: what our parents told us directly rewards and punishments used to control our behavior interaction with parents observing, imitating, and modeling

26 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Our family influenced us according to: How much contact we had with them How intense our contact was with them How important we were to each other Our individual personalities

27 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. So what do we do about it? Figure out and analyze how our family influenced us Take responsibility to make life what we want it to be and choose our goals Acknowledge feelings about the past Let them go and make peace

28 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

29 How Parents Treat Children Approval Way to demonstrate love, value, care and acceptance MOST IMPORTANT CONTRIBUTION PARENTS EVER MAKE TO CHILDREN’S DEVELOPMENT Positive self-concept

30 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. How Parents Treat Children Criticism and rejection Feelings of inferiority and unworthiness Carry forward into adult relationships

31 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

32 Attitudes Toward Intimate Partners Adult relationships are often patterned after those in our family of origin. Poor relationship with parents increases difficulties in romantic relationships.

33 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Attitudes Toward Intimate Partners Social Learning Theory – children imitate their parents’ behavior, attitudes, and perceptions in intimate relationships Attachment Theory – attachment characteristics with parents carried forward to subsequent adult relationships

34 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

35 Family Closeness: How We Express Affection Basic human need Affection = hugging, kissing, touching, holding, cuddling, caressing Affection ≠ sex

36 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Family Closeness: How We Express Affection Much variation in families We follow our family of origin’s pattern Males usually less comfortable with affection

37 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

38 Attitudes Toward Sex Our attitudes about sex are formed by Parents’ attitudes concerning: Natural curiosity Discussion of sexual issues Giving information about sex Quality of relationship with parents

39 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Parents of Children with Healthy Attitudes About Sex... Have matter-of-fact attitudes about: Occasional nudity Natural bodily functions Give positive instruction about sexual expression at appropriate ages

40 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Parents Teach Unhealthy Attitudes About Sex by... Repressing children’s natural curiosity Avoiding discussions about sex Saying negative things about sex

41 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Effects of Positive Parental Attitudes Teenagers adopt their parents’ attitudes Children freely ask questions – thus, can get parents’ values Delay in beginning sexual activity

42 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

43 Children of Unhappy or Divorced Parents Don’t want to repeat parents’ mistakes Want happy marriages for themselves But are influenced by their parents’ relationship patterns Are accepting of the possibility of divorce

44 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

45 Learning Gender Roles in the Family Gender role = how people express their gender socially Males act ‘masculine’ Females act ‘feminine’ Children usually follow parents’ example Appropriateness differs by family

46 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Learning Gender Roles in the Family Children learn which of the following are appropriate for men and which for women: traits, behaviors, attitudes, values roles in marriage and family careers

47 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Learning Gender Roles in the Family How much children are influenced by parents depends on: how close they feel to their parents how closely they identify with them what gender role their parents exhibit

48 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

49 Learning Values in the Family Cultures shape values and values shape cultures. Individualist culture = individualism and independence Collectivist culture = extended family and common good

50 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Learning Values in the Family Our family of origin’s values are the basis of what we consider right, good, and proper We form our own values by examining other values.

51 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Work Values and Habits The patterns of work in our family or origin are those we unconsciously adopt as adults. Workaholics had workaholic parents Children raised in financially well-off families don’t want to struggle with bills.

52 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

53 Close couples: have good verbal and nonverbal communication listen carefully when the other speaks discuss important issues

54 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. They also: show sensitivity to each other’s feelings say positive things to each other keep the lines of communication open

55 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Communication Styles in Families Open, honest, tactful communication Reveal what you think and feel in tactful, sensitive manner

56 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Communication Styles in Families Superficial communication Talk often - nothing of significance Problems not dealt with or solved

57 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Communication Styles in Families One-sided communication One person lectures Other family members take passive role

58 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Communication Styles in Families False communication Lie to avoid trouble Give others what one thinks others want to hear

59 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Communication Styles in Families Avoidance of communication Avoid sensitive topics to prevent quarreling or fighting Attempt to escape problems and hope they go away

60 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Communication Styles in Families Non-communication Have not learned to express themselves Fear criticism and lack of acceptance

61 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Communication Styles in Families Angry communication Low frustration tolerance so become emotionally over-aroused Expression of anger becomes primary mode of connection

62 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Good Communication Necessary for a happy relationship A skill that can be learned whether modeled in family or not

63 © 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.


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