How do abusive men use children to control women? The Impact on Children
Women may present as: Chaotic Smokers Using alcohol and other substances
Many women who experience violence will be hesitant to name their experience as domestic violence or not realise this is what they are experiencing. Women will be more receptive if you ask questions around the state of their relationship or their personal safety.
Women experiencing violence will already have survival strategies they find effective. It is essential to acknowledge these and use them as guidance for your work. A safety plan is about allowing women to identify the options available to them within the context of their current circumstances.
Who can you tell about the violence who will not tell your partner/ex-partner? Do you have important phone numbers available e.g. Family, friends, refuges, police? If you left, where could you go? Do you ever suspect when your partner is going to violent? Eg. After drinking, when he gets paid, after relatives visit
When you suspect he is going to be violent can you go elsewhere? Can you keep a bag of spare clothes at a friends or a family members house? Are you able to keep copies of any important papers with anyone else? Eg. Passport, birth certificates Is there somewhere for your children to go to when he is being violent and abusive?
What is the most dangerous part of your house to be in when he is violent? Which part of the house do you feel safest in?
Effective organisational policies and protocols can easily be developed to allow for a rapid and supported response to emergency situations. The Stella Project, Good Practice Guidelines, April 2004 ( Tender can send you an electronic copy of this )