2 Admin issue: Mentoring slots Which of these slots can you make?Monday 3-4:Tuesday 12-1:Tuesday 3-4:Wednesday 1-2:Thursday 2-3:Friday 1-2:
3 What is a mentor? Write down some alternative words for ‘mentor’ One word per post-it note
4 Mentoring Roles Coach Role model Supporter Advocate Critical friend Acculturator (getting the mentee used to the culture)
5 What is Mentoring? (1)‘Behind every successful person, there is one elementarytruth: somewhere, somehow, someone cared about theirgrowth and development . This person was their mentor’ [Dr Beverley Kaye, Up is Not the Only Way, 1997]Mentorship refers to a developmental relationshipbetween a more experienced mentor and a lessexperienced partner referred to as a mentee – a personguided and protected by a more prominent person [Wikipedia]
6 What is Mentoring? (2)To support and encourage people to manage their ownlearning in order that they may maximise their potential,develop their skills, improve their performance and becomethe person they want to be.[Eric Parsloe]
7 What makes a good mentor? Write down characteristics of a good mentorOne characteristic per post-it note
8 Some Characteristics of a Good Mentor Approachable and welcomingShares information and experiences openlyGood communication skillsTrustworthy, reliableProvides accurate and appropriate feedbackTechnical expertiseMotivating, encouraging, positive and empoweringNon judgmentalAllocates appropriate time to mentoringSensitive to the needs of the mentee
9 Empowerment ‘ Mentoring is a process rather than an event; mentors must seethemselves asmanagers of a process,rather than just passingon knowledge.’(Galvin, 1998)
10 Empowering the mentee Communicate openly Encourage them to take responsibility for achieving their goalsGive them space and time to complete tasksGuide and counsel as they reach final stages of tasksHelp them to learn from mistakesHelp them to work out the answer, rather than just telling themGive constructive, critical advice – but don’t expect to solve all their problems for themIntroduce them to other people who might be able to help themGive them responsibility and monitor progressBuild confidence
11 Foundations for successful mentoring relationships Develop and communicate clear goals and expectations at the beginningSet the ground rules and develop an agreementClarify the roles of the mentor and menteeWork out when and how feedback will occurReview the relationship at regular intervals
13 Provide Mentoring Support Establish a relationshipApply effective communication styles to develop trust, confidence and rapportAgree on how the relationship will be conductedClarify and discuss expectationsOffer mentoring supportAssist mentee to identify and evaluate options to achieve agreed goals.Share personal experiences and knowledge with the mentee.Encourage mentee to make decisions and take responsibility for the courses of action under consideration.Provide supportive advice and assistance in a manner which allows the mentee to retain responsibility for achievement of their own goals.Change and discuss the mentoring relationship.Make any adjustments to the relationship taking into account the needs of both mentor and mentee.
14 Effective Mentoring Mentoring involves: Level 1: a personal relationship in which a relative novice is supported by a more experienced peer in coming to terms with a new roleLevel 2: active guidance, teaching and challenging of the mentee by the mentor, who accordingly needs to claim some expertise, wisdom and authorityLevel 3: the management and implementation of a planned curriculum, tailored to the needs of the individual(McIntyre, 1996, p147)
15 Coaching is…a relationship and a conversation which supports a person to move forward to desired goals in a fulfilling manner (Myles Downey)unleashing a person’s potential to maximise their own performance, it is helping them to learn rather than teaching them. The underlying intent of the coach in every coaching session is to build the self-belief, self-motivation, choice, clarity, commitment, awareness, responsibility and ability of the coachee to take action (Sir John Whitmore)proactive and focussed on solutions and the future
17 Core skills used in coaching ListeningQuestioningOther forms of communicationManaging the process of coaching
18 Listening"We were given two ears but only one mouth, because listening is twice as hard as talking."VS.
19 Why be a good listener? Needs of the mentee… To be recognized and rememberedTo feel valuedTo feel appreciatedTo feel respectedTo feel understoodTo feel comfortable about a want or need
20 The Purpose of Listening To be presentTo accompany the other person on their journeyReflection of feelingsTo hold a mirror up of understandingTo determine whether my sense of the other person’s inner and outer world is correctTo offer a non judgemental presenceListening is NOT about asking questions or challenging what the other person is saying
21 Levels of Listening1. Cosmetic listening – listening in everyday conversationListener looks as if they arelistening but their mind is elsewhereNot useful in coachingPeople are usually aware thatthey are not being fully listened to
22 Levels of Listening Conversational listening A number of things are happening:listening, talking, thinking,planning what to say nextNot useful in coaching
23 Levels of Listening Active or attentive listening The listener is very focused on what the speaker issaying, they are paying attentionand recording significant factsThe type of listening usedin coachingIt feels very positive to be listened towith someone’s full attention
24 Levels of Listening Deep listening The listener is more focused on the speaker thanon themselves. The listener’s mind is “quiet” andthe intention is “seeking to understand”. All thesenses are being used.The ideal state for listening in coachingThe client feels understood and may also experience a deeper connection to the coach
25 Qualities of Active Listeners Desire to be “other-directed”No desire to protect yourselfDesire to imagine the experience of the otherDesire to understand, not critique
26 Skills for Active Listening Examples:Sitting forwardEye contactNodding headSmile etc when appropriateBODY LANGUAGE“You listen with your face as well as your ears!”
27 Skills for Active Listening OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONSExamples:What happened after that?Who was there?What did they do?How did that work?If you are not sure you understand what the speaker has said, just ask.
28 Skills for Active Listening Examples:So what I hear you saying is . . .REPEAT CONTENTIt is a good idea to repeat in your own words what the speaker said so that you can be sure your understanding is correct.
29 Skills for Active Listening ACKNOWLEDGING FEELINGSExamples:You’re feeling ___.It makes you (feeling) that . . .
30 Skills for Active Listening Examples:Bite your tongue!DON’T JUDGE
31 Skills for Active Listening Examples:Count to yourself.BEING QUIET
32 Active Listening Open-Ended Questions Body Language Acknowledge FeelingsRepeat ContentDon’t JudgeBe Quiet
33 Other tips for being a good listener Give your full attention on the person who is speaking.Make sure your mind is focused too.Let the speaker finish before you begin to talk.Let yourself finish listening before you begin to speak!Listen for main ideas.
34 Exercise: Active Listening Split into trios (speaker, listener, observer)Speaker – talk for 2 minutes about your experience of the first lectures this weekListener – listen using the skills discussedObserver – observe the application of the skills and take notesDiscuss how it wentDo this three times, so that everybody has had a chance to practice listening
35 QuestioningQuestions are the main form of communication in coaching
36 Open QuestionsQuestions that start with what, when, who, how many, how much“Why” should be used with caution as it may imply criticism“How” should be used with care as it may lead to analytical thinkingOpen questions require descriptive answers. They raise awareness for both the coach and the client and promote responsibility in the client. The client creates a clear perception of the relevant facts and information and the ability to determine what is relevant. Creative thoughts and ideas are also stimulated and explored.
37 Closed Questions For instance: “Am I right?” Limited use in coaching Useful for checking when a yes or no answer is all that is required
38 Questions which clarify For instance, “If you take those steps, what will you achieve?”These questions are used to make things clearer for both the coach and the client
39 Enquiry questions For instance, “What is your purpose in life?” Enquiry questions require reflection and allow the client to explore their values, emotions, behaviour and reactions to an issue/situation (useful for homework)
40 Incisive questionsFor instance, “What would you do if you did not have to live with the consequences?”Incisive questions are useful when the coach is working with the limiting beliefs of a client. These questions work to suspend the limiting belief and the client is able to see past the limitation
41 Questions which challenge limiting beliefs For instance, the client says “I always make a mess of projects at work”. The coach responds with “says who?”Challenging questions are designed to raise the awareness of the client to help them move on
42 Powerful questions For instance: “What is stopping you from…?” Powerful questions are usually brief and designed to help the client make a quantum leap in understanding and perception
43 Use of appropriate questions What questions might be appropriate in the following situation?Situation: The mentee has difficulty articulating their needs/goals for the mentoring relationship. What questions might you, as the mentor, ask?Possible Questions:What do you want to get out of this relationship?Do you feel there is more that you are after from me as a mentor? If so, what?How can I, as your mentor, better cater for your needs?Can we discuss what you would like to accomplish by the end of the semester?
44 Exercise: Questioning Split into trios (questioner, client, observer)Questioner – ask questionsClient –answer questionsObserver – observe and take notesDiscuss how it wentDo this three times, so that everybody has had a chance to practice questioning
45 Other communication skills RepetitionSummarisingParaphrasing or reframingGroupingMaking suggestions
46 Repetition / Mirroring Repeating back to the client words that they have said, often verbatimUseful when there is an emotional undertoneFor instance: “You find the lectures too difficult” “You feel discouraged.”
47 Summarising “Extracting the essence” from what the client has said Not just facts but also feelingsUseful to check that the coach has fully understood the clientIt also confirms to the client that he or she is fully understoodFor instance: “These seem to be the main problems you’ve expressed…”
48 Paraphrasing or reframing The coach uses his or her own words to reflect or reframe back to the client something which he or she has saidThis is to ensure communication is clear and meaningful in terms of intended outcomesThis may help the client to detach from issues, to create some distance and to provide new insights and ideasFor instance:“So you would like your friends to help you learn to program, is that right?”
49 GroupingIdentification of the relationship between themes/elements in the conversationThis may help to raise awareness of the client to patterns or linkages which they have not previously recognised
50 Making suggestionsThe coach believes that he or she has something to offer which will add valueThe coach may make a suggestion, but the client does not have to act on the suggestionThis can be useful when the client is stuck and has spent time reflecting and acknowledges that a suggestion would be helpful
51 Managing the process of coaching TGROW model provides a structureTopicGoal What do you want to happen?Reality What is happening now?Options What could you do?Will What will you do?
52 TopicProvides background and structure for the client and coach, and a common basis to take the session forward
53 Goal SettingWhat do you want to happen (establishes goal for the session)Coach works with client to identify and agree on achievable outcomes
54 Reality What is happening now (who, what, where, how much) Coach works with the client to generate a clear understanding and awareness of the current situation and the topic
55 Options What could you do? (What is possible?) Coach draws out a range of options from the client encouraging creativity, acts as a “sounding board” (No evaluation or judgement of options)
56 Will What will you do? (Clarify commitment) Coach works with client to select options, encouraging responsibility, commitment to action and creation of an action plan with an appropriate timescale and measures for reviewing progress.
57 Mentoring Session 1: Getting Acquainted (1) IntroductionTell the group your names, your year of study/degree you are on, and give them your addresses.Tell them that the purpose of the mentoring sessions is to help them get the most out of the course, by providing peer support (by you and by other members of their group)Tell them that this first week will be mainly about getting to know each otherIn discussion with the group, establish ground rulesTell them that you will treat what they tell you with confidentiality (in the sense that you will only report opinions of the group without highlighting individuals). Ask them to treat each others remarks with confidentiality as well. Tell them that once in a while a lecturer may attend a mentoring session.Tell them that you would like them to attend all sessions, and sent you an when they cannot make it
58 Mentoring Session 1: Getting Acquainted (2) Activity 1: InterviewsAims: To begin to get to know one another, to develop confidence, to develop awareness of membership of a groupProcedureGet the group to brainstorm what they would like to know about each other in the context of this group. Display the headings on the blackboard. (Could include past programming experience, what they did before they came to uni, which country they are from, their name, etc etc, leave this up to the group). Spent about five minutes on this.
59 Mentoring Session 1: Getting Acquainted (3) In pairs, one person interviews the other to gather this information (and anything else that the two think of and wish to share). Spent about five minutes on this. You may want to take part yourself (and one of you will have to if the number of students is odd)Interviewers remain where they are, while interviewees move round and interview someone that they have not previously met. Again, about five minutes.Everyone prepares (organizes their notes, etc) to introduce the person they interviewed. About 2 minutes.In turn, individuals address the group, introducing the person that they interviewed. About 2 minutes per person.
60 Mentoring Session 1: Getting Acquainted (4) Activity 2: Views on first lecturesAsk the group what they thought of the first lectures. Were they too easy/too difficult? What things were the most difficult to understand?
61 Keep a diaryAfter the mentoring session, spend five-ten minutes to write down your impressions:How did it go?What did you find difficult?What were the main things you learned?