1. Chapter 10: Managing Interpersonal Conflicts
PowerPoint Presentation to accompany Looking Out, Looking In, Tenth Edition
Chapter 10: Managing Interpersonal Conflicts
Presentation prepared by Dr. Michael Pearson, Gretchen Gill, and Tim Scanlon of West Chester University
Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc. Thomson Learning™ is a trademark used herein under license.
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Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc. 1

2. Interpersonal Conflicts
CHAPTER 10
Managing
Interpersonal Conflicts 2

3. Managing Interpersonal Conflicts
The Nature of Conflict
Personal Conflict Styles
Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear Message Format
Conflict in Relational Systems
Variables in Conflict Styles
Methods of Conflict Resolution
Win-Win Communication Skills
Constructive Conflict: Questions and Answers 3

4. The Nature of Conflict Conflict Defined Expressed Struggle
Conflict is defined as an expressed struggle between two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals.
Expressed Struggle
Perceived Incompatible Goals
Perceived Scarce Rewards
Interdependence
Interference from the Other Party 4

5. The Nature of Conflict Conflict is Natural
No matter how close you are to somebody, there will be times when your ideas or actions or needs won’t match those of others around you. 5

6. The Nature of Conflict Conflict Can be Beneficial
Effective communication during conflict can keep good relationships strong. People who work through their conflicts using constructive skills are more satisfied with their relationships and with the outcomes of their conflicts. 6

7. Personal Conflict Styles
Nonassertive Behavior
Nonassertion - the inability or unwillingness to express thoughts or feelings in a conflict
Avoidance: physical or conversational, steering clear of conflict
Accommodation: giving in; putting other’s needs ahead of your own
Direct Aggression
Direct Aggression – expressing a criticism or demand that
threatens the face of the person at whom it is directed. 7

8. Personal Conflict Styles
Passive Aggression
Passive Aggression - occurs when a communicator expresses hostility in an obscure way; “crazymaking”
Indirect Communication
Indirect Communication - a roundabout way of
expressing wants or needs in order to save face
for the recipient. 8

9. Personal Conflict Styles
Assertion
Assertion - a clear and direct expression of the sender’s needs, thoughts, or feelings, without judging or dictating to others.
Which Style is Best ?
Factors to consider :
1) The Relationship
2) The Situation
3) The Receiver
4) Your Goals 9

10. Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear Message Format
Behavior
Behavioral Description - an account that refers only to observable phenomena; behavioral description should be objective, describing an event without interpreting it
Interpretation
Interpretation - the process of attaching meaning to
behavior; there can be more than one interpretation
attached to a behavior 10

11. Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear Message Format
Feeling
Feeling – an expression of the emotion you are experiencing as a result of the other person’s behavior
Consequence
A consequence statement explains what happens as a result of the behavior you have described, your interpretation, the ensuing feeling, or all three.
Three types of consequences:
what happens to you, the speaker
what happens to the person you’re addressing
what happens to others 11

12. Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear Message Format
Intention
Intention Statements can communicate three kinds of messages:
1) a description of where you stand on an issue
2) requests of others
3) descriptions of how you plan to act in the future. 12

13. Assertion Without Aggression: The Clear Message Format
Using the Clear Message Format
Behavior-interpretation-feeling-consequences-intention format :
1) The elements may be delivered in mixed order.
2) Word the message to suit your personal style.
3) When appropriate combine two elements in a
single phrase.
4) Take your time delivering the message.

14. Conflict in Relational Systems
Relational Conflict Style - a pattern of managing disagreements that develops in a long-term relationship. 13

15. Conflict in Relational Systems
Complementary, Symmetrical, and Parallel Styles
Complementary Conflict Style - partners use different but mutually reinforcing behaviors
Symmetrical Conflict Style - both parties use the same behaviors
Parallel Conflict Style - shifts between complementary and symmetrical patterns from one issue to another 14

16. Conflict in Relational Systems
Intimate and Aggressive Styles
Nonintimate-Aggressive
Nonintimate-Nonaggressive
Intimate-Aggressive
Intimate-Nonaggressive
Conflict Rituals
Conflict Ritual – unacknowledged but very real patterns of interlocking behavior 15

17. Variables in Conflict Styles
Gender
Men and women approach conflict differently.
Culture
The way in which people manage conflict varies tremendously depending on their cultural background. 16

18. Methods of Conflict Resolution
Win-Lose
Win-lose Problem Solving – one party gets what he or she wants and the other party comes up short
Lose-Lose
Lose-lose Problem Solving – neither side is satisfied with the outcome 17

19. Methods of Conflict Resolution
Compromise
Compromise – gives both parties at least some of what they wanted, though both sacrifice part of their goals.
Win-Win
Win-win problem solving is an approach to conflict resolution in which the parties work together to satisfy all of their needs and goals. 18

20. Win-Win Communication Skills
1) Identify Your Problem and Unmet Needs
2) Make a Date
3) Describe Your Problem and Needs
4) Consider Your Partner’s Point of View
5) Negotiate a Solution
6) Follow Up the Solution 19

21. Constructive Conflict: Questions and Answers
Isn’t the Win-Win Approach Too Good to be True?
Mutual benefit is not only desirable—it works. Good intentions and creative thinking can lead to outcomes that satisfy everyone’s needs.
Isn’t the Win-Win Approach Too Elaborate?
The win-win approach is detailed and highly structured,
but you will not use every step when resolving conflict in everyday life. 20

22. Constructive Conflict: Questions and Answers
Isn’t Win-Win Negotiating Too Rational?
It may be the most sensible, and sometimes it may be impossible to be rational. In these situations, let your frustrations out, but be sure your partner understands what you’re doing and that what ever you say doesn’t call for a response. 21

23. Constructive Conflict: Questions and Answers
Is it Possible to Change Others?
Show that it’s in your partner’s self-interest to work together with you, projecting both the favorable consequences of cooperating and the unfavorable consequences of competing. Also, you can boost the odds of getting your partner to cooperate by modeling the communication skills described in the book.