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Lesson 3 Writing Strong Sentences Revising Objectives: 1.To identify and correct wordiness 2.To identify and combine choppy; rambling sentences 3.To identify.

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Presentation on theme: "Lesson 3 Writing Strong Sentences Revising Objectives: 1.To identify and correct wordiness 2.To identify and combine choppy; rambling sentences 3.To identify."— Presentation transcript:

1 Lesson 3 Writing Strong Sentences Revising Objectives: 1.To identify and correct wordiness 2.To identify and combine choppy; rambling sentences 3.To identify and correct tired images

2 1. Eliminating Wordiness Empty Expressions: On account ofDue to the fact that What I want isThe reason that In my opinionThe reason/fact is that It seems as ifThere is/are/was/were It is/wasWhat Im trying to say is Because of the fact thatI believe/feel/think/that

3 wordyDespite the fact that there has been a drought in the food bowl of the Great Plains, most crops are surviving. concise

4 wordyDespite the fact that there has been a drought in the food bowl of the Great Plains, most crops are surviving. conciseDespite the drought in the food bowl of the Great Plains, most crops are surviving.

5 wordyIn my opinion the high-fashion clothes advertised in most magazines are like costumes. concise

6 wordyIn my opinion the high-fashion clothes advertised in most magazines are like costumes. conciseThe high-fashion clothes advertised in most magazines are like costumes.

7 wordyWhat Im trying to say is that little lies lead to big lies. concise

8 wordyWhat Im trying to say is that little lies lead to big lies. conciseLittle lies lead to big lies.

9 2. Combining Sentences Combine short, choppy sentences into longer ones

10 **Do not use CONJUNCTIONS (and, but, or, etc.)** Short, choppy sentence The Blue Angels perform spectacular stunts. They are part of the U.S. Navy. The perform aviation stunts at air shows. The shows are held around the world. Combined sentence

11 Short, choppy sentence The Blue Angels perform spectacular stunts. They are part of the U.S. Navy. The perform aviation stunts at air shows. The shows are held around the world. Combined sentence The Blue angels of the U.S. Navy perform spectacular aviation stunts at air shows around the world.

12 Short, choppy sentence Blue Angel pilots must have at least 1,500 hours of flying time. They are some of the best trained pilots. Combined sentence **Add information to the subject (appositive phrase)**

13 Short, choppy sentence Blue Angel pilots must have at least 1,500 hours of flying time. They are some of the best trained pilots. Combined sentence Blue Angel pilots, some of the best- trained pilots, must have at least 1,500 hours of flying time.

14 Short, choppy sentence The Blue angel pilots usually please the audience the most. They bring the show to a thrilling finish. Combined sentence **Do not start the sentence with the subject**

15 Short, choppy sentence The Blue angel pilots usually please the audience the most. They bring the show to a thrilling finish. Combined sentence Bringing the show to a thrilling finish, the Blue Angels usually please the audience the most.

16 Coordinating Sentences When two sentences are of equal importance, bring them together with one of the following: To Show SimilarityTo Show ContrastTo Show Result andbutso both/ andyetthus not only/ but also or, norhence besideshowevertherefore indeedinsteadconsequently furthermorestillaccordingly moreoverneverthelessas a result

17 Short, Choppy Sentences John Adams died on July 4, Thomas Jefferson died on July 4, Combined Sentence Similarity, Contrast, or Result?

18 Short, Choppy Sentences John Adams died on July 4, Thomas Jefferson died on July 4, Combined Sentence John Adams and Thomas Jefferson died on July 4, 1926 Similarity

19 Short, Choppy Sentences Coincidences often intrigue people. Coincidences often frighten people. Combined Sentence Similarity, Contrast, or Result?

20 Short, Choppy Sentences Coincidences often intrigue people. Coincidences often frighten people. Combined Sentence Coincidences often intrigue and frighten people. Similarity

21 Short, Choppy Sentences The number 88 was thought to be unlucky for James II of Scotland. The number 88 was thought to be unlucky for Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots. Combined Sentence Similarity, Contrast, or Result?

22 Short, Choppy Sentences The number 88 was thought to be unlucky for James II of Scotland. The number 88 was thought to be unlucky for Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots. Combined Sentence The number 88 was thought to be unlucky for James II of Scotland and Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots. Similarity

23 Short, Choppy Sentences James II died in battle in Mary Stuart was beheaded in She never saw Combined Sentence Similarity, Contrast, or Result?

24 Short, Choppy Sentences James II died in battle in Mary Stuart was beheaded in She never saw Combined Sentence James II died in battle in 1488, but Mary Stuart was beheaded in 1587, so she never saw Contrast & Result

25 Short, Choppy Sentences Superstitions are foolish. Superstitions can be interesting though. Combined Sentence Similarity, Contrast, or Result

26 Short, Choppy Sentences Superstitions are foolish. Superstitions can be interesting though. Combined Sentence Superstitions are foolish, but they can be interesting. Contrast

27 Short, Choppy Sentences Superstitious people are fearful. They often see evil omens in everyday events. Combined Sentence Similar, Contrast, or Result?

28 Short, Choppy Sentences Superstitious people are fearful. They often see evil omens in everyday events. Combined Sentence Superstitious people are fearful, consequently they see evil omens in everyday events. Result

29 3. Refreshing Tired Images Cliches--an overused expression or idea. All things happen for a reason An apple a day keeps the doctor away Beauty is in the eye of the beholder Dirt poor Keep your head above water Its as plain as day


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