1. Chapter 12
Peer Relationships

2. Safe and Healthy Friendships
Lesson 1
Safe and Healthy Friendships

3. Types of Peer Relationships
Peers
People of similar age who share similar interests
Types of Relationships
Friendships
Casual Friendships
Close Friendships
Cliques

4. Friendships Friendship – a significant relationship between two people
Platonic Friendship – a friendship with a member of the opposite gender in which there is affection but the two people are not considered a couple
Casual Friendships
Close Friendships
Cliques

5. Friendships cont., True Friendships have several common attributes:
Similar values, interests, beliefs, and attitudes on basic issues
Open and honest communications
Sharing of joys, disappointments, dreams and concerns
Mutual respect, caring and support
Concern about each other’s safety and well-being

6. Cliques
Small circle of friends, usually with similar backgrounds or tastes, who exclude people viewed as outsiders
Clique members may share the same attitudes, dress a like, meet regularly at the same spot, or engage in other behaviors that identify them as a clique
Positive and Negative influences
Provide a sense of belonging
Discouraged from thinking for themselves or acting as an individual
Prejudice - making assumptions or judgments about an individual without really knowing him or her
Stereotype - an exaggerated and oversimplified belief about an entire group of people, such as an ethnic or religious group or gender

7. Forming Healthy Friendships
Choosing Friends
Positive people
Healthy attitudes
Reinforce your values
Motivate you
Mutual protective factors
Responsible decision makers
Building and Strengthening Friendships
Built on common values and interests
Be loyal
Encourage each other
Respect each other

8. Peer Pressure and Refusal Skills
Lesson 2
Peer Pressure and Refusal Skills

9. Peer Pressure The influence that people your age may have on you
Your peers can sometimes influence how you think, feel and act
Can have a positive or negative influence on your actions and behaviors

10. Positive Peer Pressure
Influence you to do community service
Volunteer work
Help you to not participate in risk behaviors or activities
Role model
Inspire others to take part in a positive act or worthwhile cause

11. Negative Peer Pressure
Harassment
Persistently annoying others
Name calling, teasing and bullying
Go against your own values
Manipulation
An indirect, dishonest way to control or influence others

12. Common Methods of Manipulation
Mocking or teasing another person in mean or hurtful ways
Using “guilt trips” to get desired results
Bargaining - offering to make a deal to get what one wants
Using flattery or praise to influence another person
Bribing - promising money or favors if the person will do what is asked
Making threats - promising violence or some other negative consequence if the person does not do what is asked
Using blackmail - threatening to reveal some embarrassing or damaging information if the person does not do what is asked

13. Resisting Negative Peer Pressure
Avoid it
Develop friendships with people who share your values and interests
Less pressure
Support of your decision
Refusing to go along with the group
Sometimes teens are worried they will jeopardize their friendship if they do not go along with the pressure
“uncool”

14. Assertive Refusal
Standing up for your rights in a firm but positive way
You state your position and stand your ground
Acknowledge the rights of others
Most effective approach when facing negative peer influences
Often role models for others because people respect individuals who stay true to themselves

15. Refusal Skills
Techniques and strategies that help you say no effectively when faced with something that you don’t want to do or that goes against your values
Step 1: State Your Position
Simply and firmly
Non-verbal messages
Step 2: Suggest Alternatives
Step 3: Stand Your Ground
Strong body language and eye contact

16. Checklist: Assertive Communication Skills
“I” messages
Respectful but firm tone of voice
Alternatives to action
Clear, simple statements
Appropriate body language

17. Passive and Aggressive Responses
Tendency to give up, give in, or back down without standing up for their own rights and needs
Maybe be viewed as pushovers
Aggressive
Overly forceful, pushy, hostile, or otherwise attacking in their approach
Shouting, yelling, shoving or insulting

18. Dating and Setting Limits
Lesson 3
Dating and Setting Limits

19. Dating Can be an enjoyable learning experience
Opportunity to develop social skills, such as communicating and interacting with a person of the opposite gender
Learn more about yourself
Discover new interests, reaffirm their values, and even start thinking about the type of person with whom they might like to build a future

20. Dating cont., Infatuation Affection
Exaggerated feelings of passion for another person
Be careful not to mistake them for genuine affection
Affection
A feeling of fondness for someone
Comes when you know a person well
Friendship and caring
Express affection with communication and listening, holding hands, hugging, and spending quality time together

21. Deciding to Date Everyone is unique Not everyone dates
Some people might be shy around the opposite gender
Other interests
No reason to be pressured into dating if you are not ready for it
Ease into dating you can
Go out with a group of friends of both genders
Group date or double date

22. What to Do on a Date Depends on who you are with Your interests
Go to the movies, dinner, sporting events, school dances
When you get to know each other better you will have a better idea of your interests and will be able to find activities you both enjoy

23. Activities Sports or Athletic Community Charitable
You and your date like sports
Promote health and provide a way for dates to share and develop common interests
Friendly and relaxed atmosphere
Community
Zoo or local museum
Music or theatre, concerts or plays
Tourist attractions
Charitable
Build strong friendships and dating relationships
Habitat for Humanity, walk-a-thon, maintain parks and beaches

24. What can I do to make a good impression on a first date?
Relax and be yourself
Be honest
Plan your date
Be courteous

25. Avoiding Risk Situations
Some dating situations may increase the chance of being pressured to participate in sexual activity or some other high-risk behaviors
Before you go on your date, know where you are going and what you will be doing
Find out who else will be there and discuss with your parents what time you should be home
Regardless of where you go, make sure you have money with you
Avoid places where alcohol and other drugs are present
Avoid being alone with your date at home or in an isolated place

26. Dating Relationships
The choice to have an ongoing dating relationship can help you develop skills and behaviors that will some day prepare you for the dignity, respect, and responsibility required in a marriage
It may limit your chances for socializing with others, prevent you from developing other positive relationships
Teen years are a time for trying many different roles and relationships
Relationships can be difficult to start or end but it helps you to mature emotionally