1. Calm, Cool and Collected
38th Annual NYSOBBA Conference
June 16, 2015

2. Session Agenda Bonding & Bridging with your Co-workers
Stress & On-the-Job Pressure: some stats
People Dealing with People: How We Interact & A Framework for Understanding One Another
The Drama Triangle/The “Toxic” Triangle: How We Get in the Triangle & How to Stay Out
*** GROUP ACTIVITY***
Bonding & Bridging with your Co-workers

3. High Levels of Stress: A Study
Main component of stress – more students and families requesting more of our time, while we deal with lower budgets, fewer people on staff and GREATER oversight
A 2013 study from Inceptia (Division of NSLP) “On the Job Pressure” about Stress in our types of offices. Main objectives of the study:
Determine the issues that create the most stress
Determine how often these issues occur
Profile any differences by College Sector
Methodology: How MUCH Stress 1(none)/5 (extreme stress) multiplied by how OFTEN 1(never)/ 5 (frequently)

4. Demographics of Study 513 individuals completed the survey
Type of Institution/Percent of the Sample
Proprietary 10%
Private 4-Year 30%
Private 2-Year 2%
Public 2-Year 25%
Public 40Year 33%
Position Type/Percent of the Sample
Director 44%
Assoc/Asst Dir 22%
Office Staff 34%

5. TOP Stressors

6. STRESS Categories

7. Stressors by SECTOR

8. Stressors by Job Responsibility

9. NASFAA Survey of Administrative Burdens
Two-thirds of respondents indicate Resource Shortages compared to Work Load
90% indicate that shortages impact:
Face to Face Counseling
Outreach Efforts
Attention to Target Populations
Other burdens: Increased regulatory burden, Growth in administrative expectations

10. Understanding WHAT We Deal With
Is our Service meeting expectations (of students & families and/or our superiors)?
Our services drive overall institution performance, but are we respected?
Students need our time but are we staffed appropriately and do the right students come?
The evolving landscape makes the role of Bursar’s Offices and Financial Aid Offices ever more important.

11. Understanding WHO We Deal With
What can the field of education teach us?
Exploring the work of Ruby Payne, PhD “Understanding a Framework for Poverty”
People are different and as a society we need to find different ways to interact with one another
Raise awareness of different ‘classes’ of people and their backgrounds, what shapes their thoughts and behavior
Poverty, Middle Class, & the Wealthy

12. How Do People THINK? A person’s THINKING is cognitively framed by:
Demands of their Environment
Relationships and Knowledge
Resources
Financial, Emotional, Mental, Spiritual, Physical, Support Systems, Relationships/Role Models
Knowledge of Hidden Rules – What are the unspoken cues and habits of a group?

13. Dealing with CONFRONTATION
Our aim is to maintain professionalism *and* to maintain our relationship
Why is this difficult?
Poor planning, failure to identify the real problem or identify the pertinent issues
Failure to communicate timely & appropriately & inability to control impulses

14. Toxic, Transactional TRIANGLE Work of Ruby Payne & Stephen Karpman

15. Victim is the major role that sets off the toxic triangle of DRAMA
TRIANGLE Roles
Victim, Persecutor (Bully), Rescuer
Similar to Damsel in Distress, Villain, Hero
Victim is the major role that sets off the toxic triangle of DRAMA
Victim feels powerless or confused
Victim >>> Rescuer, Rescuer feels good 
Victim places blame on persecutor >>>rescuer is needed *and* problem is deemed unsolvable 

16. Stay Away from the TRIANGLE
Problems are not solved while in the triangle and shifting roles in the triangle
Do not attempt to decipher between those who are truly distressed and those playing games and quick to place blame
Attempt to make your victim aware of the triangle by focusing on telling them how YOU can solve problems.

17. Control it….stay out of the triangle!
Avoid the Drama
Remember people are different, with varying experiences, operating from different ‘cues.’
Avoid saying, “I’m just trying to help you”; don’t shift roles within the triangle.
“There are lots of things that go wrong and I have experience getting to the bottom of the issue. Allow me to go over the cycle with you and then I’d like to gather all the details from you.”
Control it….stay out of the triangle!

18. Try the Empowerment Triangle

19. Group Work – Let’s Vent! But Keep Cool
Work in Teams
Share your examples on how you diffused a difficult situation and collectively pick ONE scenario
Time to role play, define any roles of the triangle, and aim to use the empowerment roles
Vote for best group!

20. When All Else Fails… Turn to Your Colleagues
We need support from a social network
Don’t let venting get out of control
Difference between BONDING and BRIDGING
Bonding is good for GETTING BY. You can end on a negative note.
Bridging is good for GETTING AHEAD. Things must end on a positive note.
Do more BRIDGING than BONDING

21. Questions?
Christina Cardinale & Lisa Juncaj Student Accounts & Bursar Services Manhattan College Riverdale, New York (718) &