Presentation on theme: "Positive Guidance and Discipline"— Presentation transcript:
1 Positive Guidance and Discipline Graffiti scenarioSpilled milk
2 “OK, here are your options: jump and discover the joy of flight, or don’t jump and Ikick your butt out of the tree.Scaring and threateningis NOT discipline.- Discipline is teaching, training,and guiding.The goal is to train a child who can self-control, self-discipline,and self-guideeven when you are not around.
3 Positive Guidance Suggestions: 6. Consistency is the key to guidance. It helps children feel secure.3. Discipline should be relevant to the misbehavior2. Attention is a powerful reinforcer to guide children: they often misbehave for attention5. Children may rebel when parents punish rather than discipline7. Respond to aggressive behavior in non-aggressive ways4. Positive Modeling: is a very effective way to teach children desired behavior1. Children feel safe and secure when they have Limits. These help a child gain self-control
4 More Positive Guidance Suggestions: 11. Give reasons along with rules to help them learn why.9. Follow through with your requests. Do not make threats.8. Use routines to help children know what to expect and how to manage their behavior.12. Treat children as responsible adults. Children become what you believe they are10. Focus on their good behavior.13. The purpose of discipline is to learn self-control NOT obedience. This is the ultimate goal of positive guidance.
5 14. Make sure the message of LOVE always gets through: warmthhumor
7 1. Natural and Logical Consequences Natural Consequences: occur without interference, child can see the result of their choicesCannot be used if the consequence will cause harm to self, others or property, or too far in the future.Example: If Billy leaves his bike out, it will get stolen.Logical Consequences: should be relevant to the misbehaviorImposed by the caregiver to make the punishment fit the crime.Short in duration, not imposed in anger, provide opportunities for children to learn from their behaviorExample: If Sally spills the paint, she must clean up the mess that is made
8 2. Reverse Attention Ignoring the negative, reinforcing the positive When a child’s behavior is inappropriate, focus on a child who is displaying the appropriate behavior and make a positive commentIf the first child changes his behavior, he should be immediately reinforced with a positive statement.
9 3. RedirectionChildren can be easily distracted. Get him to focus on something else.Substitute acceptable activities for unacceptable ones.Example: If he is angry at the block area, lead him to a different area of the room and introduce a different activity
10 Let’s practice…….4. Positive StatementsClearly states what is expected, then help them get startedWhen guiding children, phrase all requests in a positive mannerWhen giving directionstalk to children on their eye levelExample: say, “Let’s walk to the blocks,” rather than, “Don’t run to the blocks”
11 2 volunteers or Entire class Task – sitting in a chair, folding their arms and crossing their legs.1st student – Don’t statements to get them to do this.Don’t just stand their2nd Student – Do statements to get them to do this. Tell them exact instructions.Option 2: Entire class is to stand and face the back of the room with their arms folded.
12 DON’T – PLEASE DO Negative statement Positive Statement Don’t sit on the counterDon’t you ever clean your roomDon’t hit your brotherDon’t runDon’t go in the roadDon’t yell at meDon’t put your dish in the sinkPlease sit on the chairPlease keep your room clean.________________
13 5. Limited ChoicesDo not give him an unlimited choice unless he can really have what is chosen.Give “Either – Or” and “When-Then” choicesOnly give choices that are available.Example: “Do you want juice or water for a drink?” rather than, ‘What would you like to drink?”
14 Use a place where there are no distractions or positive reinforcers 6. Time OutWhen a child has disobeyed a rule, she will be sent to a predetermined place to distance herself from the problem and gain composure.The time spent in time out relates to the child’s age.Should be a last option, limited use.
15 STATE Assignment #8 in study guide: Read the 3 child rearing problems or case studies involving a child/children and their parents, a group of children, or a group of children and an adult(s).Suggest a positive guidance technique to be used to solve them.
16 7. Be a Good Role Model Remember that children imitate you. Don’t expect them to be different than what you are. If swearing is not OK for them to do, then you shouldn’t swear.Be polite and courteous and treat themwith respect.Treat them as responsible people.16
17 8. Children become what they are told they are. Read graffiti8. Children become what they are told they are.
18 Match Responsive to children's’ needs. Indifferent to children, ignore themReject their childrenCritical, derogatory, dissatisfied with their children.Warm, understanding and accepting.Hostile and antisocialPoor self-control, difficulty with social interactions when teenagers.Compliant with parent’s wishesHappy and friendlyDissatisfied with themselves.
19 Matching Key Responsive to children's’ needs. Indifferent to children, ignore themReject their childrenCritical, derogatory, dissatisfied with their children.Warm, understanding and accepting.Hostile and antisocialPoor self-control, difficulty with social interactions when teenagers.Compliant with parent’s wishesHappy and friendlyDissatisfied with themselves.
20 Authoritarian: Limits without Freedom. Parents’ word is law, parents have absolute control.Misconduct is punishedAffection and praise are rarely giveParents try to control children's’ behavior and attitudesThey value unquestioned obedienceChildren are told what to do, how to do it, and where to do it, and when to do it.
21 Outcomes of Authoritarian Style ObedientDistrustfulDiscontentWithdrawnUnhappyHostileNot High AchieversOften RebelChildren from authoritarian homes are so strictly controlled, either by punishment or guilt, that they are often prevented from making a choice about a particular behavior because they are overly concerned about what their parents will do or say.
22 Permissive: Freedom without limits. Parents allow their children to do their own thing.Little respect for order and routine.Parents make few demands on children.Impatience is hidden.Discipline is laxParents are resources rather than standard makersRarely punishNon controlling, non-demandingUsually warmChildren walk all over the parents
23 Outcome of Permissive Parenting AggressiveLeast self-reliantLeast self-controlLeast exploratoryMost unhappyChildren from permissive homes receive so little guidance that they often become uncertain and anxious about whether they are doing the right thing.
24 Democratic: Freedom within limits. Parents set limits and enforce the rulesStress freedom along with rights of others and responsibilities of allWilling to listen receptively to child’s requests and questions.Provides both love and limitsChildren contribute to discussion of issues and make some of their own decisionsExert firm control when necessary, but explain reasoning behind it.Respect children’s interest, opinions, unique personalities.Loving, consistent, demandingCombine control with encouragementReasonable expectations and realistic standards.
25 Outcomes of Democratic Style HappyMost self-reliantMost self-controlContent, friendly, generousCooperativeHigh-achiever’Less likely to be seriously disruptive or delinquentChildren whose parents expect them to perform well, to fulfill commitments, and to participate actively in family duties, as well as family fun, learn how to formulate goals. They also experience the satisfaction that comes from meeting responsibilities and achieving successSCENARIOS
26 In groups of three or four develop a comic strip, case study, or story that fits each parenting style.Groups pass their stories to other groups and have them read them to see if they can identify the parenting style.