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Last Chance Dance: ALIS 2008 Does your essay have the right moves?

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Presentation on theme: "Last Chance Dance: ALIS 2008 Does your essay have the right moves?"— Presentation transcript:

1 Last Chance Dance: ALIS 2008 Does your essay have the right moves?

2 Agenda 11/10 Focus: Polishing your comparative essay Investigating the rubric Indulging in essay mini lessons Give me an A; give me a B; give me a D –: Assessing the essays using the rubric HW: Please see the website calendar (you have your first Romantic assignment tonight)

3 A fine collection of mini lessons for your enjoyment

4 Kakos Bad Word List I/memyyouyour Bigbadgood thing Reallyverynota lot How to get rid of not? Turn the negative voice into the positive voice. Negative voice: She was not successful. Positive voice: She was unsuccessful. Negative voice: They were not able to fulfill their dream. Positive voice: The were unable to fulfill their dream.

5 Kakos bad word list, continued How to get rid of really and very? CROSS THEM OUT You may have to adjust the adjective. Ex: They felt very sad as they left. They felt devastated as they left.

6 Trim the Fat: Concise Writing When in doubt, cross it out! Eliminate unnecessary adjectives. Get rid of unnecessary prepositional phrases. Cross out any repetitive ideas. Celie feels defeated for believing in God, when she finally realizes the kind and loving God that she has dreamt about fails to exist. She wonders how God can let such an atrocity, like rape, happen to her.

7 Smooth it out: Transitional words When you switch from one novel to another, or from one paragraph to another, you need to help your reader transition by using a transitional word or phrase. For a helpful list, check out the following website: e/574/02/ e/574/02/

8 Spice it up: Sentence variety Tip #1: Vary the lengths of your sentences. If you have one or two long sentences, follow them with a short sentence. If you have several short, choppy sentences of the same length, combine two of them to make a longer sentence. Ex: While McKenna simply loved ALIS editing to the extent of sheer, epiphanic joy, Fitz felt that ALIS was taking over his life with unapologetic force. Brian, however, felt ambivalent.

9 Sentence variety, continued Tip #2: Vary the way you begin your sentences. Ex: Ms. Leclaire was so surprised by 6 th hour that she screamed aloud and fled the room. Surprised by 6 th hour, Ms. Leclaire screamed aloud and fled the room. Screaming aloud and fleeing the room, Ms. Leclaire was surprised by 6 th hour.

10 Editing Steps (1) Read through the entire essay without making any comments. (2) Edit the essay by giving specific feedback where the essay needs help (pay particular attention to the problem areas that the writer has identified). (3) Fill out the rubric carefully and give the writer an honest grade.

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