1. What I Can and Cant Control

2. We Cannot Control People or The Outcome of Situations
Ecclesiastes 3:1-11
1. There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven. 2. A time to give birth and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. 3. A time to kill and a time to heal; a time kill and a time to heal; a time to tear down and a time to build up. 4. A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance. 5. A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace and a time to shun embracing. 6. A time to search and a time to give up as lost; a time to keep and a time to throw away. 7. A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; a time to be silent and a time to speak. 8. A time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace. 9. What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils? 10. I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves. 11. He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end.

3. We Cannot Control People or The Outcome of Situations
Ecclesiastes 7:13-14
Consider the work of God. For who is able to straighten what He has bent?
In the day of prosperity be happy, But in the day of adversity consider God has made the one as well as the other. So that man will not discover anything that will be after him.
Ecclesiastes 9:1-2
For I have taken all this to my heart and explain it that righteous men, wise men and their deeds ate in the hand of God. Man does not know whether it will be love or hatred; anything awaits him.
It is the same for all. There is one fate for the righteous and for the wicked; for the good, for the clean and for the unclean; for the one who does not sacrifice. As the good man is, so is the sinner; as the swearer is, so is the one who is afraid to swear.

4. We can only control our own thoughts, emotions desires, words, and actions
Romans 12: And Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. 3. For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each measure of faith.

5. We can only control our own thoughts, emotions, desires, words and actions
Proverbs 16: He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. Psalm 37:4 4. Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Ephesians 4: Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

6. We can only control our own thoughts, emotions, desires, words and actions
Ephesians 4: That in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, 23. And that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, 24. And put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.

7. Therefore, we need to evaluate and take responsibility for how we are responding to people and the outcome of situations
Galatians 6:7-8
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.
For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

8. Therefore, we need to evaluate and take responsibility for how we are responding to people and the outcome of situations
Galatians 5:16-25
16. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. 17. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. 18. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law. 19. Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20. Idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, 21. Envying, drunkenness, carousing and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have a forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23. Gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25.If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.

9. We need to evaluate what is motivating us with people and the outcome of situations
James 1:13-14
Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God” for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone.
But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.
James 3: 13-16
Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.
But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth.
This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic.
For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.

10. We need to evaluate what is motivating us with people and the outcome of situations
James 4: 1-3
What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?
You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask.
You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.

11. Am I Motivated by Love For God or My Selfish Desires?
John 2: Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. 17 The World is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever. James 4:4 4. You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility towards God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. James 3:16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.

12. What Do You Want And How are You Responding?
1. I Want __________________ from ________________________: a._________________ b._________________ c._________________ d._________________ e._________________ 2. However, I end up getting ________________ from _________________:

13. 3. As a result I tend to react negatively by: a
3. As a result I tend to react negatively by: a. In my thoughts I think things such as I feel things such as: _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ b. In my conversation I say things such as: c. In my actions I tend to behave and live like: d. In my relational patterns towards _________________ I:

14. 4. If I were to look at this from God’s perspective He would probably view my reaction as: _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ 5. Read James 3:13-4:10. Based upon this insight what are 6 key things you need to consider in regards to your situation?