1. Resources Financial Emotional Mental Spiritual Physical
Having the money to purchase goods and services.
Emotional
Being able to choose and control emotional responses, particularly to negative situations, without engaging in self-destructive behavior. This is an internal resource and shows itself through stamina, perseverance, and choices.
Mental
Having the mental abilities and acquired skills (reading, writing, computing) to deal with daily life.
Spiritual
Believing in divine purpose and guidance.
Physical
Having physical health and mobility.
Support Systems
Having friends, family, and backup resources available to access in times of need. These are external resources.
Relationships/Role Models
Having frequent access to adult(s) who are appropriate, who are nurturing to the child, and who do not engage in self-destructive behavior.
Knowledge of Hidden Rules
Knowing the unspoken cues and habits of a group.
Resources
If you have fewer than three resources, you will be more likely to make poor choices.
Of these resources, which one in the research makes the biggest difference in lifelong learning? It's relationships/role models. In the research in his brilliant book The Growth of the Mind Stanley Greenspan shows that almost no learning occurs without a significant relationship. It just doesn't happen. This is the same point Dr. Comer made earlier. Among wealthy students, Ruby found this is the resource (relationships/role models) that they usually don't have. The irony of this is: That's the one resource on the list money can't buy.
Which one of these do you think makes the biggest difference in your lifelong stability? It's emotional resources. It's the ability to be alone when times are bad and not be destructive—to self or others. You get a lot of your emotional resources from relationships. Emotional resources involve the internal line that we don't cross when we're angry.
Which one would you guess makes the biggest difference in school success? It's really support systems, which are not just money and friends but know-how. That's why the research is that there's no difference between minority and white achievement if the net worth of the household is the same. Net worth speaks to the level of the support system. The way a support system shows up in school is in homework and projects. Support systems include such things as health insurance, knowledge base, friends, and family. Do you have someone who can help you out with it when you cannot or do not want to do it?
Why would spiritual resources be on this list? They give hope. The second thing is this: In the resiliency research on adults who have made it out of very difficult situations, one of the high, high correlates is they had a strong belief in a higher power.
Mental resources are on this list, and they just mean you read, write, and compute. What mental resources really give you is the ability to know whether or not the information you have is correct. Inappropriate behavior usually begins when some of these are missing. Students may want you to focus on their behavior rather than on their lack of academic skills.
Physical resources means your body works. It does not mean you have a car. If you have ever been sick and aggravated that you couldn't get up and do something you needed to do, you know what a difference physical resources can make.
Copyright © 2005 aha! Process, Inc.

2. Copyright © 2005 aha! Process, Inc.
Resource Analysis
Resource Analysis
In your workbook are 14 case studies. Read the first case study (Sally and SueAnn) with your neighbor. What resources are in this household? We usually look at household resources.
Let's talk about money before we talk about resources. There are two issues in money and poverty. One is when you don't manage what you have. The other one is when there's not enough.
Let's look at SueAnn and Sally's resources. Are there financial resources there? No. Emotional? No, because Mom can't live without a man. Mental resources. Yes, SueAnn can read, write, and compute. Spiritual? It doesn't say. Physical? Yes. Support system? It isn't good. Relationships/role models? SueAnn loves her children … she works two jobs … she's not there.
Copyright © 2005 aha! Process, Inc.

3. QUESTIONS TO ASK ABOUT RESOURCES
FINANCIAL
Is there $340 per month per person available?
Is the issue the use of the finances versus the amount of finances?
Is the approach “You owe me because I am poor”? Or is the approach “I am proud; you will never know that I am in financial need”?
EMOTIONAL
Is there evidence that the individual has persistence?
Can the individual be alone, or does he/she always need people around him/her?
Does the individual act on feelings, i.e., hit when he/she is angry?
Does the individual have coping strategies for adverse situations that are not destructive to self or others?
MENTAL
Can the individual read, write, and compute?
Can the individual plan?
Can the individual problem-solve?
Can the individual understand cause and effect, then identify consequence?
SPIRITUAL
Does the individual believe in divine guidance and assistance?
Does the individual have religious affiliation—e.g., church, mosque, synagogue?
PHYSICAL
Can the individual take care of himself/herself without help?
Does the physical body allow the person to work and to learn?
SUPPORT SYSTEMS
Who is available to help this individual with time, money, know-how, and advice?
Is this person the main support system for the household?
What connections are available for this person?
What coping strategies are available in this household?
How much time is available to this person to devote to school and learning?
RELATIONSHIPS/ROLE MODELS
Who in the household cares about this person? Who does this person care about in the household?
Is there someone who cares about this individual who is not destructive to self or to others?
KNOWLEDGE OF MIDDLE-CLASS HIDDEN RULES
Does this individual know the hidden rules of work and school?
How important are achievement and work?
Will this individual give up achievement and work for relationships?
These are the questions to ask about resources.
Copyright © 2005 aha! Process, Inc.

4. What can you do in the classroom?
RESOURCES
1. Analyze a student’s resources. Make interventions based on the resources that are present.
2. Understand that failure is often related to missing resources. Is there a way to provide missing resources?
For example: a nurturing adult.
For interventions to be successful, use the resources that are there, then augment those resources. Example: If students do not have homework help available at home, maybe the school people can start a program at school to help with homework.
Copyright © 2005 aha! Process, Inc.

5. Could you survive in poverty?
COMPLETE THE QUIZ:
Put a check by each item you know how to do.
______1. I know which churches and sections of town have the best rummage sales.
______2. I know which rummage sales have “bag sales” and when.
______3. I know which grocery stores’ garbage bins can be accessed for thrown-away food.
______4. I know how to get someone out of jail.
______5. I know how to physically fight and defend myself physically.
______6. I know how to get a gun, even if I have a police record.
______7. I know how to keep my clothes from being stolen at the Laundromat.
______8. I know what problems to look for in a used car.
______9. I know how to live without a checking account.
______10. I know how to live without electricity and a phone.
______11. I know how to use a knife as scissors.
______12. I can entertain a group of friends with my personality and my stories.
______13. I know what to do when I don’t have money to pay the bills.
______14. I know how to move in half a day.
______15. I know how to get and use food stamps or an electronic card for benefits.
______16. I know where the free medical clinics are.
______17. I am very good at trading and bartering.
______18. I can get by without a car.
Could you survive in poverty?
[For this OHT and the next two.]
In A Framework for Understanding Poverty there are three pages of quizzes with statements on them relating to poverty, middle class, and wealth (pages 53-58). [Cut these apart, provide a paper frame (poverty, middle class, and wealth) and have the participants organize these against the paper frame.]
* Could you survive in poverty?
* Could you survive in middle class?
* Could you survive in wealth?
You must have expertise to "work with" affluent parents. If you never talk about the hidden rules in wealth, there is no empathy for poverty.
[Someone in the audience could be from old money, so be sure you aren't condescending to any group.]
Copyright © 2005 aha! Process, Inc.

6. Could you survive in middle class?
COMPLETE THE QUIZ:
Put a check by each item you know how to do.
______1. I know how to get my children into Little League, piano lessons, soccer, etc.
______2. I know how to set a table properly.
______3. I know which stores are most likely to carry the clothing brands my family wears.
______4. My children know the best name brands in clothing.
______5. I know how to order in a nice restaurant.
______6. I know how to use a credit card, checking account, and savings account—and I understand an annuity. I understand term life insurance, disability insurance, and 20/80 medical insurance policy, as well as house insurance, flood insurance, and replacement insurance.
______7. I talk to my children about going to college.
______8. I know how to get one of the best interest rates on my new-car loan.
______9. I understand the difference among the principal, interest, and escrow statements on my house payment.
______10. I know how to help my children with their homework and do not hesitate to call the school if I need additional information.
______11. I know how to decorate the house for the different holidays.
______12. I know how to get a library card.
______13. I know how to use most of the tools in the garage.
______14. I repair items in my house almost immediately when they break—or know a repair service and call it.
Could you survive in middle class?
In A Framework for Understanding Poverty there are three pages of quizzes with statements on them relating to poverty, middle class, and wealth (pages 53-58). [Cut these apart, provide a paper frame (poverty, middle class, and wealth) and have the participants organize these against the paper frame.]
* Could you survive in poverty?
* Could you survive in middle class?
* Could you survive in wealth?
You must have expertise to "work with" affluent parents. If you never talk about the hidden rules in wealth, there is no empathy for poverty.
[Someone in the audience could be from old money, so be sure you aren't condescending to any group.]
Copyright © 2005 aha! Process, Inc.

7. Could you survive in wealth?
COMPLETE THE QUIZ:
Put a check by each item you know how to do.
______1. I can read a menu in French, English, and another
language.
______2. I have several favorite restaurants in different countries of the world.
______3. During the holidays, I know how to hire a decorator to identify the appropriate themes and items with which to decorate the house.
______4. I know who my preferred financial advisor, legal service, designer, domestic-employment service, and hairdresser are.
______5. I have at least two residences that are staffed and maintained.
______6. I know how to ensure confidentiality and loyalty from my domestic staff.
______7. I have at least two or three “screens” that keep people whom I do not wish to see away from me.
______8. I fly in my own plane or the company plane.
______9. I know how to enroll my children in the preferred private schools.
______10. I know how to host the parties that “key” people
attend.
______11. I am on the boards of at least two charities.
______12. I know the hidden rules of the Junior League.
______13. I support or buy the work of a particular artist.
______14. I know how to read a corporate financial statement and analyze my own financial statements.
Could you survive in wealth?
In A Framework for Understanding Poverty there are three pages of quizzes with statements on them relating to poverty, middle class, and wealth (pages 53-58). [Cut these apart, provide a paper frame (poverty, middle class, and wealth) and have the participants organize these against the paper frame.]
* Could you survive in poverty?
* Could you survive in middle class?
* Could you survive in wealth?
You must have expertise to "work with" affluent parents. If you never talk about the hidden rules in wealth, there is no empathy for poverty.
[Someone in the audience could be from old money, so be sure you aren't condescending to any group.]
Copyright © 2005 aha! Process, Inc.

8. Hidden Rules of Economic Class
POVERTY
MIDDLE CLASS
WEALTH
POSSESSIONS
People.
Things.
One-of-a-kind objects, legacies, pedigrees.
MONEY
To be used, spent.
To be managed.
To be conserved, invested.
PERSONALITY
Is for entertainment.
Sense of humor is highly valued.
Is for acquisition and stability.
Achievement is highly valued.
Is for connections.
Financial, political, social connections are highly valued.
SOCIAL
EMPHASIS
Social inclusion of the people they like.
Emphasis is on self-governance and self-sufficiency.
Emphasis is on social exclusion.
FOOD
Key question: Did you have enough?
Quantity important.
Key question: Did you like it?
Quality important.
Key question: Was it presented well?
Presentation important.
CLOTHING
Clothing valued for individual style and expression of personality.
Clothing valued for its quality and acceptance into the norms of middle class. Label important.
Clothing valued for its artistic sense and expression.
Designer important.
TIME
Present most important.
Decisions made for moment based on feelings or survival.
Future most important.
Decisions made against future ramifications.
Traditions and past history most important.
Decisions made partially on basis of tradition decorum.
EDUCATION
Valued and revered as abstract but not as reality.
Education is about facts.
Crucial for climbing success ladder and making money.
Necessary tradition for making and maintaining connections.
DESTINY
Believes in fate. Cannot do much to mitigate chance.
Believes in choice. Can change future with good choices now.
Noblesse oblige.
LANGUAGE
Casual register. Language is about survival.
Formal register. Language is about negotiation.
Formal register.
Language is about connection.
FAMILY STRUCTURE
Tends to be matriarchal.
Tends to be patriarchal.
Depends on who has/controls money.
WORLD VIEW
Sees world in terms of local setting.
Sees world in terms of national setting.
Sees world in terms of an international view.
LOVE
Love and acceptance conditional, based on whether individual is liked.
Love and acceptance conditional, based largely on achievement.
Love and acceptance conditional, related to social standing and connections.
DRIVING FORCES
Survival, relationships, entertainment.
Work and achievement.
Financial, political, social connections.
Hidden Rules of Economic Class
These are the hidden rules of economic class in poverty, middle class, and wealth.
Copyright © 2005 aha! Process, Inc.

9. What can you do in the classroom?
HIDDEN RULES
1. Direct-teach the hidden rules.
2. Teach that there are two sets of rules.
3. Understand the hidden rules that students bring with them.
Hidden Rules
What can you do in the classroom about hidden rules?
* Direct-teach the hidden rules.
* Teach that there are two sets of rules.
* Understand the hidden rules that students bring with them.
Copyright © 2005 aha! Process, Inc.

10. VOICES CH I LD P A R E N T ADUL T Quit picking on me.
You don't love me.
You want me to leave.
Nobody likes (loves) me.
I hate you.
You're ugly.
You make me sick.
It's your fault.
Don't blame me.
She, he … did it.
You make me mad.
You made me do it. CH I LD P A R E N T
You (shouldn't) should do that.
It's wrong (right) to do ______.
That's stupid, immature, out of line, ridiculous.
Life's not fair. Get busy.
You are good, bad, worthless, beautiful (any judgmental, evaluative comment).
You do as I say.
If you weren't so ______, this wouldn't happen to you.
Why can’t you be like ______?
Voices
Eric Berne, a researcher in California in the 1960s, talked about voices inside your head. You have different voices inside your head, and they talk to you. When you're in the negative child voice, you're whining. The positive child voice: You're expressing delight. The adult voice: You're asking questions. The parent voice: You're firm and insistent.
Claude Steiner, who wrote Scripts People Live, worked with Eric Berne. He said this: When you're forced to become your own parent quite young, you develop only two of the three voices because you didn't have a nurturing parent. These are the child and the negative parent voice.
Many adults do not have an adult voice. National research shows that 80 percent of the discipline referrals come from 11 percent of the staff. The voice that gets the most referrals are either the whining child or the negative parent.
You cannot "whine" children into good behavior; you have no structure or learning with this voice. Tattling is in this voice.
The problem comes when you try to discipline in this voice. Children have low tolerance for teachers who have a child voice. These teachers are seen as weak and ineffective.
If you always have the negative parent voice, you have little relationship in the classroom, thus little learning. This breeds latent hostility: "I'm going to get even with you when nobody's looking."
The parent voice is a telling voice.
The negative parent voice screams; it says you are not happy.
The negative parent voice creates a clash of wills.
The powerful parent voice is positive. It asks questions.
Change requires questions; that is why the four questions to be discussed in detail in OHT 74 are so important.
If you want to stop a behavior, you need a parent voice: "Stop that." If you want to change a behavior, you use the adult voice and a technique called reframing.
The adult voice is effective because it creates change; so does the positive parent voice.
The reason all of us periodically go into this negative parent voice is because a belief got triggered: You get a "should" or "ought to" message.
In what ways could this be resolved?
What factors will be used to determine the
effectiveness, quality of ______?
I would like to recommend ______.
What are choices in this situation?
I am comfortable (uncomfortable) with ______.
Options that could be considered are ______.
For me to be comfortable, I need the
following things to occur: ______.
These are the consequences of that choice/action: ______.
We agree to disagree.
ADUL T
Adapted from work of Eric Berne
Copyright © 2005 aha! Process, Inc.

11. Three Types of Parenting:
Permissive
Authoritarian
Negotiated
Three Types of Parenting
* Permissive
* Authoritarian
* Negotiated
Three Concepts Necessary to be Self-Governing
* Choices
* Consequences
* Parameters
Three Concepts Necessary to
Be Self-Governing:
Choices
Consequences
Parameters
Copyright © 2005 aha! Process, Inc.

12. What will you do next time?1.
What did you do? 4.
What will you do next time? 2.
When you did that, what did you want?
One of the things Ruby did when she was principal was to try to get this choice/consequence adult voice into the building. She ran off these four questions and had a student fill this out before she talked to him/her about an incident. It helped the student focus.
First question: "What did you do?" Legally, you have now given the student due process.
Second question: "When you did that, what did you want?" You get better answers with this than with "Why did you do that?"
Third question: "What are four other things you could have done instead?" The student might have great difficulty with this.
Fourth question: "What will you do next time?"
When the student does not take it seriously the first time, give him/her a clean copy and ask him/her to redo it. This is a way to begin looking at this whole idea of choice/consequence. When you finally find a behavior that the student can live with, then use reframing with the adult voice.
The hardest thing about reframing is figuring out a way to do it that will make sense to that individual. When you are reframing for students, you're trying to find them a way they can engage in the behavior that won't be in conflict with their own identity.
Reframing when dealing with discipline will change behavior more than anything else with both parents and children.
An established relationship allows you to make mistakes and apologize.
One of the reasons our students physically fight is because it's a position of strength. When we tell them not to fight, in their minds they translate that to: "You want me to be a wimp." They cannot live with that. If you say this to them, "It takes more strength to stay out of a fight than it does to get into a fight," you've reframed it. 3.
What are four other things you could have done instead?
Copyright © 2005 aha! Process, Inc.

13. What can a teacher do to build relationships?
TESA (Teacher Expectations & Student Achievement) identified 15 behaviors that teachers use with good students.
The research study found that when teachers used these interactions with low-achieving students, their achievement made significant gains.
Calls on everyone in room equitably.
Provides individual help.
Gives “wait” time (allows student enough time to answer).
Asks questions to give student clues about answer.
Asks questions that require more thought.
Tells students whether their answers are right or wrong.
Gives specific praise.
Gives reasons for praise.
Listens.
Accepts feelings of student.
Gets within arm’s reach of each student each day.
Is courteous to students.
Shows personal interest and gives compliments.
Touches students (appropriately).
Desists (does not call attention to every negative student behavior).
What a teacher can do to build relationships
TESA (Teacher Expectations and Student Achievement) identified 15 behaviors that teachers use with good students. The research study found that when teachers used these interactions with low-achieving students, their achievement made significant gains.
Adapted from TESA (Teacher Expectations & Student Achievement), Los Angeles Department of Education
Copyright © 2005 aha! Process, Inc.

14. To discipline your child/student, use these steps:
1. STOP the behavior that
is inappropriate.
2. Tell the child WHAT
he/she did that was
wrong.
3. Tell the child WHY the
behavior was wrong
and its consequences.
4. Tell the child HOW to
behave the next time.
STOP
Discipline
To discipline your child/student, use these steps:
#1 STOP the behavior that is inappropriate.
#2 Tell the child WHAT he/she did wrong.
#3 Tell the child WHY the behavior was wrong and its consequences.
#4 Tell the child HOW to behave the next time.
because 3 2 1
next time
Copyright © 2005 aha! Process, Inc.

15. What can you do in the classroom?
DISCIPLINE
1. Use the adult voice first, then the parent voice.
2. To avoid arguments with parents and students, use the adult voice.
3. Use discipline interventions as an opportunity for instruction.
4. Use the parent voice to stop behaviors. Use the adult voice to change behaviors.
What you can do in the classroom about discipline
* Use the adult voice first, then the parent voice.
* Avoid arguments.
* Use interventions.
* Use the parent voice to stop behaviors and the adult voice to change behaviors.
In this module on discipline, the cognitive research base is Glasser. The roots are all the same. And the issues we have found are around voices.
[Note: Questions that go with the discipline videos ("Preventing School Violence by Creating Emotional Safety") involve hidden rules and are also a part of this module on discipline.]
Copyright © 2005 aha! Process, Inc.