1. Los Gatos High School College Essay Workshop June 2011 Guidance Counselor: Louis Rich

2. Los Gatos High School Introduction Goal: Writing about oneself in a clear, effective manner What the essay should accomplish: Support and supplement the application without restating information Offer insight into what makes you unique as a person and applicant Display talents, abilities, and traits that are not always apparent in an item entry or transcript grade Take a flat application and make the person round Key Points: Understand and answer the prompts Differentiate for the reader Allow sufficient time for organizing, drafting, and finalizing

3. Los Gatos High School Where and how do I begin? Writing the College Essay – Madeleine R. Eagon http://www.depauw.edu/admission/documents/college-essay.pdf First, understand why the essay is required The college wants to know that you can write and wants to see the ideas you have The college wants to see that you will thrive and contribute to the campus Think of the essay as… A means of personal introduction A way to differentiate yourself from other applicants An instrument that connects your intellect with your personal qualities A forum to display your passion and purpose

4. Los Gatos High School Writing the College Essay – Cont. Identifying the audience Audience members may range from seasoned admissions staff to inexperienced members Teaching faculty often make up part of an admissions committee The UC application is generally reviewed by a reader or two; private college applications start with a single reader and are often advanced to a committee for final decision-making The only sure identification that can be made is to write well about something that is important to you; don’t try to guess what the reader wants or his/her background/bias The deeper you understand the institution to which you are applying, the better the essay you’ll write

5. Los Gatos High School Writing the College Essay – Cont. Choosing your topic While the UC prompts are specific in terms of what is asked, there are innumerable responses that can be written Common Application prompts generally allow for more choice; however, they are often paired with supplemental essays or items that are specific to the college. Always choose the prompt that allows you to best express who you are

6. Los Gatos High School Writing the College Essay – Cont. Composing the essay Writing in a narrative, storytelling style is perfectly acceptable Using vivid, descriptive language is the best way to capture your experiences, values, and beliefs Sharing what you have brought to your community, school or other domain, and how you have made it better, should be a primary focus Make sure to convey your passion both in your general topic and how you write

7. Los Gatos High School Writing the College Essay – Cont. Revising Once you’ve written a draft, allow for time to step away and let the essay “rest” for at least a few days Seek feedback from more than one person, and also solicit input from those who know you in different contexts Limit yourself to two or three readers; there’s a line to be drawn between limited input and too much input Do not allow for grammatical and spelling errors

8. Los Gatos High School Writing the College Essay – Cont. Submitting Eventually, you have to let go of the essay While you want to invest sufficient time, you also need to strike a balance and accept what you have produced as a “best work”

9. Los Gatos High School The UC Personal Statement http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/admissions/undergrad_adm/apply/ how_apply/personal_statement.html Prompt #1: Describe the world you come from – for example, your family, community or school – and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations Key criticism of previous applicants – they were not as specific as the readers expected them to be in describing the “shaping” process They may have written clear, analytical essays that described their family, community, etc., but they did not focus enough on themselves Points to consider Answer the prompt in the first-person If you are thinking in terms of analysis, focus on self-analysis, not analysis of something external If you are going to choose from “family, community or school,” choose one factor, not all three; these should not be body paragraphs

10. Los Gatos High School The UC Personal Statement – Cont. Prompt #2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are? Points to Consider Again, when looking at “personal quality, talent, …,” choose one and write deeply about yourself Specific, concrete examples and language should guide the response

11. Los Gatos High School The UC Personal Statement – Cont. Prompts 1 and 2 should total 1,000 words; they do not need to be a 500/500 split, but they should be relatively close in length There is now an additional comments box with a 500 word limit Comments do not equal essay; most students won’t use this box, and if they do, it will be limited to a few brief remarks Example – you separated your shoulder sophomore year, and that is why there is a gap in your participation in a sport Link to the University’s section for writing the personal statement http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/admissions/how-to-apply/personal- statement/index.html http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/admissions/how-to-apply/personal- statement/index.html

12. Los Gatos High School The Common Application Essay One of the six essay choices may be used by those who apply to a private college that is a member of The Common Application Some Common Application member colleges and universities simply require one of the six essay choices; many require supplemental essay(s) and information that is specific to the institution The supplemental essays/information can also be downloaded from The Common Application website (https://www.commonapp.org/CommonApp/CollegeIn fo.aspx)https://www.commonapp.org/CommonApp/CollegeIn fo.aspx

13. Los Gatos High School The Common Application Essay – Cont. Personal Essay Prompt #4: Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence. Key points: More room for creativity and voice Greater ability to match the prompts to who you are as a student and person You must connect the prompt to who you are For the prompt above, you are not to analyze the character/work; you need to explain the connection between and focus your analysis on yourself The approximate length for the essay should be 500-600 words

14. Los Gatos High School The Common Application Supplemental Essay/Application Document As mentioned previously, many colleges and universities require that you write a supplemental essay(s) or complete some type of additional form These are school specific; part of the purpose is to separate serious applicants who know and understand the culture of the college/university from those who may be applying for the sake of applying The supplemental essay(s) generally allow for the most creativity and may be the best reflection of who you are

15. Los Gatos High School The Common Application Supplemental Essay/Application Document – Cont. Sample: Scripps College Name and relationship of relatives who have attended Scripps or any of the Claremont Colleges (please specify which colleges) How did you first learn about Scripps College, and why have you chosen to apply? Please list all books you have read in the past year and put an “x” next to those that were required reading for school. Give specific examples here of any talents or unusual skills you possess and any achievements you think are important, but are not described elsewhere in your credentials. In addition to this supplement, please submit a 3-7 page graded, analytical paper you wrote during your junior or senior year.

16. Los Gatos High School Concluding Thoughts Treat the short answer essays with the same priority as you would longer responses Write well, but also answer the prompt – both are critical Show real, genuine passion Use words to “show” rather than “tell” the story – make the essay vivid

17. Los Gatos High School References Spunk and Bite – A Writer’s Guide to Punchier, More Engaging Language & Style - Arthur Plotnik (www.spunkandbite.com)www.spunkandbite.com Sheila Bender’s Writing It Real (www.writingitreal.com)www.writingitreal.com The Tao of Writing: Imagine. Create. Flow. – Ralph Wahlstrom 100 Successful College Essays – Harvard Independent “Writing the Essay: Sound Advice from an Expert” – Parke Muth, Senior Assistant Dean and Director of International Admission, University of Virginia (http://www.virginia.edu/undergradadmission/writingtheessay.ht ml)http://www.virginia.edu/undergradadmission/writingtheessay.ht ml