F.A.W. FOCUS: What to focus on AVOID: What to avoid WATCH: What to watch for Questions Facts
What to Focus on The character of your fiancé Focus on your fiancé: make him/her your priority over your friends Focus on the internal person of your fiancé and not on their outer appearance. Focus on the in-laws: Keep a good relationship with the in-laws
What to Focus on Commitment Life with no separation Love and compassion Giving and forgiving Providing to the other’s needs Change for the better In a righteous life
What to Focus Is your fiancé your best friend? Focus on being open with your fiancé Focus on what your fiancé needs: Women generally need love men generally need respect
What to Avoid Avoid focusing on just feelings and not character. Don’t be overwhelmed by feelings Jealousy Conveying negative messages from your own family to your fiancé Avoid lying Avoid an extremely short/ extremely long engagement periods
What to Avoid Avoid relations based on financial gain Avoid marriage in a very young age Avoid marriage in extremely different social levels Avoid being “cold” with your fiancé. Share your feelings.
What to Watch for Make sure Christ is the center of the relationship; personally and for you together (Establish from the time of engagement spiritual intimacy. ex: prayer, reading the bible together, etc.) Learn the weak points of your spouse and decide if you can live with them after marriage or not.
What to Watch for Medical Check-up: It is mandatory in some dioceses now. In case of present illness prior to marriage, the spouse must sign saying they are aware. Where is the relationship heading? Are you getting closer, or moving further apart Watch the way your fiancé's family interacts with each other
What to Watch for Watch for issues which MAY cause problems during the time of engagement such as: Invitation cards/ list Finance Place of reception Reception program/ food/ drinks Selection of the wedding party (bridesmaids/ grooms men) Favors Clothes Where the honeymoon will be
Questions Shall I talk about my past with my fiancé? What is the meaning of marriage? Why do I want to get married? Do you expect problems in your marital life? Do you think your fiancé will fulfill the spiritual, financial, and cultural growth in your future marriage? Are your parents happy with the relationship?
Questions What is the age difference between you and your fiancé? Do your trust your fiancé 100%? Do you feel you can carry responsibility of being a parent?
Facts There is NO marriage without conflicts There is no perfect fiancé Declaration of an engagement in the church is very important No marriage is better than a broken marriage Do not expect to change your spouse after marriage: What you see is what you will get You and your fiancé should attend premarital counseling sessions before marriage