By GBENGA RUFAI Prf.Dip.(HRM), ACIPM, ASM POSITIVE SELF ESTEEM & CONFIDENCE BUILDING
WHO AM I? Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building MAN KNOW THYSELF- Aristottle You can’t build what you don’t know. How do you build SELF esteem when you don’t even know yourSELF?
SOMETHING OR SOMEONE DEFINES EVERYONE OF US Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building CLASS TEACHER: Brilliant or Dullard (Depending on your Academic performance in class) PARENTS: Good or Bad Child (Depending on your behaviour) FRIENDS: Sharp or Mumu (depending on how you fit in) GOD & HIS WORD: A World changer (Based on his purpose for you)
THE SIAMESE TWINS Self Esteem & Confidence are like siamese twins joined together. If you try to separate them, you stand the risk of killing the other Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building
BASICS : What is Self Esteem? It is a mental picture of who we are, how we look, what we are good at & our weakness. It is developed overtime and based on interactions we have with people and our experiences It is simply a SELF PERCEPTION i.e How We See Ourselves YOUR LEVEL OF SELF ESTEEM WOULD DETERMINE YOUR LEVEL OF CONFIDENCE You cannot build confidence if your self esteem is low or negative Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building
Types of Self Esteem POSITIVE or GOOD or HIGH Self Esteem NEGATIVE or BAD or LOW Self Esteem Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building
The Esteem – Confidence Equation Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building LOW/NEGATIVE SELF ESTEEM = LOW CONFIDENCE HIGH/POSITIVE SELF ESTEEM= HIGH CONFIDENCE
Positive Self Esteem They feel good about themselves, appreciate their own worth, take pride in their abilities skills & accomplishment. Knows he/she has shortcomings Doesn't focus or beat himself up about it They love themselves They carry a positive estimation about themselves Someone with a Positive self esteem will Excel in life Achieve great results Meet & Attract Great people Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building
Effects of Having a Low Self Esteem Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building Females will fall into the hands of wrong men You would settle for less in life You would always be behind You would bow to those younger to you You would suffer and miss opportunities
The Acid Test Do you feel your friends are better than you? Do you sometimes refuse to say your mind because you feel your point is not good enough? Or because the last time you did, you were talked down? Do you feel people won’t make friends with you because of the way you look? Are you scared of looking at people in the face when talking to them? Do you always wish you were like a friend of yours because of her/his looks or stature? Do you avoid speaking to an audience because you are scared? Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building
The Acid Test … Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building Do you always wish you could change some parts of your body attributes? e.g Big Eyes, Height, Complexion etc Do your parents or guardian always tell you that you are not good enough or brilliant enough and you think they are right?
CAUSES OF LOW SELF ESTEEM When people that are important to you put you down consistently e.g Parents, mentors- Your are too fat, You never do well, you are too sluggish, You are a dullard etc Negative inner voice (SELF CONDEMNATION)- Poor me, I know I cant pass, its not for people like me Unrealistic expectations from yourself You don’t admire your qualities (I am too short, I have a big nose, my eyes are too big etc) Rejection (the opposite sex you like doesn’t like you) Been harshly criticized Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building
The Way Forward: Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building View your mistakes as learning opportunities Try new activities (something you are good at) e.g If you cant play football, play chess or scrabble. Piano or konga drum Recognize things you can change and those you cant, like parts of your body, your family e.g Omo Baba Give back to others TEACH SOMEONE THE LITTLE YOU KNOW. You would feel good. Nobody knows it all Stop comparisons. BE YOU!!! Someone admires you Identify your strengths (Ask from people what you do well) Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building
The Way Forward… Identify the triggers & avoid it (negative friends, crisis etc) Stop trying to please others Silence the negative inner voice with Gods Word I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE I AM THE HEAD NOT THE TAIL I WAS CREATED IN GODS IMAGE YOU MAY NOT LIKE ME BUT GOD DOES I AM ROYALTY Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building
SOME TIPS ON BUILDING CONFIDENCE Everybody is born fearful, even courageous people. It is normal to be afraid but abnormal to remain fearful Sometimes the only way to deal with fear is to face it. (When you don’t have a choice, you would sort it). Identify the areas where you lack confidence (facing the crowd, public speaking etc) Rehearse There is always a first time to everything you do Looking good aids your confidence level- Dress Well Knowledge aids your confidence level- READ Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building
CLOSING LINES Anything taller than me is too tall Anything shorter than me is too short Anything fatter than me is too fat Anything thinner than me is too thin Anything darker than me is too dark Anything fairer than me is too fair Positive Self Esteem & Confidence Building