Presentation on theme: " Some sociologists say that only 10 percent of contemporary marriages are truly monogamous. In western countries, serial monogamy is practised (marriage."— Presentation transcript:
Some sociologists say that only 10 percent of contemporary marriages are truly monogamous. In western countries, serial monogamy is practised (marriage to several spouses after the other) People believe when they marry it will be forever.
Refer to your handout on the Theories of Attraction
Buss (1994) Women would not marry a man who she did not love or could not love. Robert Sternburg, Romantic love has three stages: 1) Passion – Sexual desire, develops quickly 2) Intense friendship of intimacy – develops slower, sharing of each others self 3) Commitment - to maintaining relationships, it grows, individuals accept reciprocal roles. Represented as a triangle – balance of the 3
Courtship – to win the affection of those who we are attracted to. Men and women display qualities that would make them good mates. Has evolved over time – Dating in the 20’s men would ask a girl out and pay for the dinner etc. Brought to family immediately. Committed early in relationship. 1930’s – “Going Steady” exclusive relationships Now, more money and free time to date
Dating is not an indicator of marital success, but love is. Being in love when you marry is the greatest factor for success. Couples who are deeply in love or who remember being in love when they marry have greater chance for success. Today, dating is less formal, less restrictive. Careers are put first.
Roles have changed, less traditional, less restrictive. According to the systems theory, a couple must discuss the hidden rules of their marital system. Arrangements need to be agreed upon – Rules for division of labour, and decision making.
Marriage is most difficult between 5-10 years. Many challenges that take place over time. There are 3 predictable stages in marriage: 1) Relationships are romantic, warm and respectful. Lots of sexual attraction. 2) Conflict arises as individuals become more demanding in meeting their own needs. 3) Couples compromise and negotiate a relationship that is more realistic, mature and stable.
Some couples might face Non Normative Crises, such as unemployment, infertility, illness and infidelity. Couples who achieve a resolution to their problems in their first stage establish a marital system, the characteristic structures that they will rely on when they need to resolve problems in the future.
Characteristics of Success Similar values, enjoy similar leisure activities, pooling income, sharing power in decision making, common friends, social life together.
Conflict occurs due to the changing roles that take place throughout the duration of a marriage. Conflict is inevitable, but handling the conflict productively is the key factor. .
Common Issues Conflicts due to time, sex and money Balancing job and family Frequency of sexual relations Debt brought into marriage Financial situations Household tasks
Feminist sociologist Pepper Schwartz described future marriages to be “Peer Marriages” where there is no more than a 60:40 division of household chores, and child care roles. Marriage is placed ahead of careers, means sacrificing opportunities.