Listening “Seek first to understand… Then to be understood.”
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Presentation on theme: "Listening “Seek first to understand… Then to be understood.”"— Presentation transcript:
1Listening “Seek first to understand… Then to be understood.” (Covey, 1997)
2Listening is not a communication action, it is a human action. Understanding how to listen effectivelyis an essential skill that benefitseverything from family life to business.Survey of personnel managers:Listening is most critical skill for working effectively in teams.Group members view people who listen well as good leaders.
3Introduction and Overview What listening IS NOT:Hearing vs. ListeningFaulty listening behaviorsReasons for poor listening
4What listening IS: Stages of successful listening Pages 113, 114Personal listening stylesPages 123, 124Informational listeningPages
5What Listening IS NOT Hearing vs. Listening: Hearing: Listening: “Sounds waves strike the ear drum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain.”Automatic and effortlessListening:“The brain gives the sounds meaning.”Unnatural, requires effort
6Faulty listening behaviors Pseudo listening:Imitation or fake listening.Pretending to listen.Selective listening:Responding only to the parts of a speakers remarks that interest the receiver and rejecting everything else.Defensive listening:Taking innocent comments as personal attacks.
7Faulty Listening, cont. Ambushing: Insulated listening: Using listening skills to collect information to use for an attack on the speaker.Insulated listening:Avoiding a particular topic.Insensitive listening:Unable to look beyond words for other meanings.
8Faulty listening, cont. Stage Hogging: Attempting to turn the conversation to oneself.
9Reasons for Poor Listening Requires Effort: listening is hard; it is not naturalMessage overloadRapid thoughtPsychological noisePhysical noise
10Reasons for Poor Listening, cont. Hearing problemsFaulty assumptionsCultural differencesMedia
11What Listening IS: Listening Defined Listening: Occurs when the brain gives the sound transmitted meaning.Listening is not like breathingIt is unnaturalIt requires effort
12What Listening IS: Stages of Successful Listening 1. Attending:Paying attention to a signal2. Understanding:Process of making sense of a message3. Responding:Giving observable feedback to the speakerShows you care - verbal and nonverbal4. RememberingResidual Message: What is rememberedOnly 25% of original message after two months
13Personal Listening Styles Content-Oriented:Interested in the quality of the message.This style is useful when looking at a wide range of perspectives and options.People-oriented:Concerned with creating and maintaining positive relationships
14Personal Listening Styles, cont. Action-Oriented:Concerned with the task at hand.Useful for business needs.Time-oriented:Most concerned with efficiency.
15Informational Listening Used when one wants to understand another person.The goal is to receive the same thoughts that the other person is trying to convey.
16Informational Listening, cont. Don’t Argue or Judge PrematurelyListen to the other person firstTry to understand his/her viewpointEvaluateArgue or agree
17Informational Listening, cont. Separate the message from the speaker“Don’t kill the messenger”There may be truth in the message even from an undesirable messenger.
18Informational Listening, cont. Be open to finding a gold nuggetLook for the big ideas and main pointsAsk questionsOpen ended - Require an explanationClosed - “Yes” or “No”Paraphrase:Restate in your own words what you believe that the speaker said.Take notes
19Critical ListeningJudging the quality of a message and deciding to accept or reject it.1. Listen for information first2. Evaluate the speakers credibility- check the source3. Examine evidence and reasoning4. Remove emotion
20Empathetic Listening Stages of listening (Covey, 1997) Ignoring Pretend listeningSelective listeningAttentive listeningEmpathic listening:The first step to understand someone
21Empathetic ListeningThe goal is to build a relationship or help solve a problem.This style of listening has the most respect for the other’s point of view.
22Empathetic Listening Ways to practice empathetic listening: 1. Advising:Offering suggestions2. Judging:Looking for constructive judgments3. Analyzing:Interpreting the speaker’s message
23Empathic Listening, cont. 4. Questioning:Helps sort out problems5. Supporting responses6. Prompting:The goal is to help the speaker draw conclusions for him/herself7. Paraphrasing:Restating in your words what you think is the speaker’s message.
24Helping - When and How Choose the best helping style based on: Situation based on what the person needs:AdviceEncouragement and supportYour analysis or judgmentProbing questions and paraphrasing to help him/her find own answers
25Helping - When and How Choose the best helping style based on: The other person’s most likely reaction to your help. Some people:Appreciate direct adviceWant you to make the decision for themAre defensive and aren’t capable of receiving analysis or judgments. They lash out and want to “kill the messenger.”Can’t think through the problems clearly even with the use of probing and paraphrasing.
26Summary Five Step Process Identify and refute myths about listening Conclusion: Effective listening is a necessary skill to be successfulFive Step Process1. Hearing2. Attending3. Understanding4. Responding5. Remembering
27Summary continued Ineffective types of listening Pseudo Selective DefensiveAmbushingInsulatedInsensitiveStage Hogging
28Summary continued Challenges that make effective listening difficult EffortMessage (Information) OverloadRapid ThoughtPsychological NoisePhysical NoiseHearing Problems
29Summary continued Challenges that make effective listening difficult Wanting to talk more than to listenCultural differencesMedia influences
30Summary continued Personal Listening Styles Content-Oriented Evaluate the quality of ideasPeople-OrientedCreating and maintaining positive relationshipsAction-OrientedWant to decide what response is required by a messageTime-OrientedEfficiency, Meeting deadlines
31Summary continued Three types of listening 1. Informational Goal: Understand another person’s ideasUse active listening P & P2. CriticalGoal: Judge the quality of an idea3. EmpathicGoal: Help the speaker, not the receiver