Kids need to take ownership of the team and their actions.
Team Needs Each member needs to belong (sharing and cooperating with others) Need to have power (fulfilled by achieving, accomplishing, and being recognized and respected) Need for freedom (make choices in their lives and being safe) Need for fun (fulfilled by laughing and playing)
What to Teach to the Team What is conflict Anger management Communications skills - active listening Feelings are important Conflict in our lives Conflict styles Win/win agreements Building trust Social skills
Conflict Everyone has it Part of our everyday lives Will continue to exist no matter how we deal with it
We Grow Through Conflict Learn about ourselves, others Learn how to communicate (listen) Learn the skills to solve problems Empathy Understanding With practice/success we become better
Sources of Conflict Communication Resources Needs Values/perceptions Structural conditions
Perceptions of Conflict Each person in a conflict will view the conflict differently. For resolution it is important that each understand how the other views the problem.
Conflict Styles Confrontational/Aggressive Avoidance/Passive Problem Solving
Conflict Resolution Directly involves the conflicting parties in both resolution process and outcome Proactively offers skills and strategies to participants prior to their involvement in the conflict Maximizes the use of negotiation and mediation processes to resolve disputes
Feeling Are Important Can’t begin to get at the reason(s) for a conflict until we deal with the underlying feelings
Anger Management Control Communicate Channel Confront
Don’t Let Anger Erupt Fear Hurt Stress Sadness Hostility Loneliness Feelings of failure Frustration
Peer Mediation is: A chance to work out your problem We won’t tell you what to do We will not take sides We are not judges Everything is confidential Both parties need to want to solve the problem
Mediator A Mediator is a person who brings people together who are separated by disagreement and who help them to solve the problem so that they both win!
Role of a Mediator Doesn’t take sides Is respectful Helps people work together Keeps information confidential Is an active listener A good team worker Dependable and responsible
What to do Listen carefully Be fair Ask how each person feels Let each person state what happened Treat each person with respect Keep what you are told confidential Mediate in private
What not to do Take sides Tell them what to do Ask who started it Blame anyone for the situation Ask, “Why did you do that?” Give advice Look for witnesses
Ground Rules No name calling or put downs No interrupting Be Honest Agree to solve the problem Do you understand
Disputants Take ownership of the problem and the solutions When students come up with their own solutions, they feel in control of their lives and committed to the plans of actions that they have created to address their problems. Skills they develop while being a part of the process may carry through to their lives
Mediation Agreement/Contract We have reached an agreement that we believe is fair and that solves the problem between us. In the future if we have problems that we cannot resolve on our own, we agree to come back to mediation.
Defining the Problem We can’t find solutions until we define it first
I Messages Behavior - (What event made you angry) “When...” Feelings - (How does that behavior effect me) “I feel…” Effect - (Reason - Why do I feel this way) “Because…” Change - (What would make it better) “What I would like is…”
Active Listening Use good eye contact Pay attention to body posture Use non-verbal cues: uh-huh, nod, etc Ask clarifying questions: open or closed questions as needed Repeat back what you heard them say (in your own words) Use neutral language
The Treed Cat Story about a student and a cat and what is happening. One student reads it to a volunteer. This volunteer then repeats the story from memory to another student that was outside of the room. Then this student then repeats the story to the second student outside of the room.
Active Listening Game Draw a picture on a blackboard Have one group of students facing away and one facing the blackboard Students facing the blackboard has to describe what is on the board and the other has to draw it
Active Listening Students sit two circles with the inner one facing the outer one. Each pair talks for two minutes learning as much as possible about each other. After two minutes they repeat what they learned. The inner circle then moves over one person to the right until they have talked with all of the students in the outer circle.
One Fish, Two Fish, Three Team building game One person in the front facing away from group The group of five students need to take the object from behind the guesser and get it back to base without the guesser finder out who has the object