A man came to the Prophet (saws) and said: ‘Shall I participate in Jihaad? The Prophet (saws) said: Are your parents still alive? The man said, ‘Yes’. The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Looking after them is your Jihad’. Abdullah ibn Mas’u d asked the Prophet (saws): O Prophet of Allah, which deed is the best deed in the sight of Allah, the Prophet (saws) replied: “The prayer which is offered at the appointed hour”. Ibn Mas’ud asked for the next best deed. The Prophet (saws) said: “Being kind towards your father and mother”. Ibn Mas’ud then asked the for the next best deed and the Prophet (saws) replied: “Jihad in the way of Allah”.
The Prophet (saws) said: “Should I inform you of the greatest of all major sins?” They said, “Yes, O Allah’s Messenger!” He said, “To join others in worship with Allah and to be undutiful to one’s parents...” The Prophet (saws) said: “Allah curses whoever curses his/ her parents...” [Sahih al-Bukhari] The Prophet (saws) said: “There are three people to whom Allah will not look at on the Day of Judgement: the one who is disobedient to one’s parent, a woman who imitates men and an husband who agrees to commit adultery”. [An-Nisa’i’]
It means that When his father or mother asks him to keep a promise, he does not fulfil it; when they order him to do something, he disobeys their order; when they ask him something, he refuses to give it to them; and when they trust him with something, he betrays them. [Ad-Dahabi, “The Book of Al-Kabaair”]
1.Talk to your parents politely with full devotion and always try to make them happy. The Prophet (saws) said: Allah is pleased with you if your father is pleased with you. And Allah is displeased with you, if your father is displeased with you. [Tirmidhi] 2. Never raise your voice in front of them and never give them an angry look. As Allah commands us in Suratul Isra :23... If one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, but speak to them a gracious word.
3. Discuss with them in every matter.4. Never lie to them, nor blame them if they do something that you do not like.
5. Answer their calls quickly, if they call you, with a cheerful smile. 6. Apologize to them if you have disobeyed your Parents.
7. Treat your mother with best companionship, then your father; because Paradise is under the mother’s feet. Allah (swt) says in the Qur’an: “And We have commanded man to be kind towards his parents. His mother bears him (in the womb) with pain and gives birth to him with pain. And bearing him (in the womb) and weaning of him (i.e. the period of pregnancy and feeding) is (spread over) thirty months...” [Suratul Ahqaf: 15]
8. Never make them angry, otherwise you will live a miserable life in this world and in the Hereafter and your children will treat you likewise. As the Prophet (saws) said: “Allah delays the punishment of all sins until the Day of Judgement except for the disobedience of parents. Allah punishes the one who is undutiful to his parents before his death. [Reported by Al- Hakim and Al- Asbahani]
9. Beg Allah to forgive your Parents. O Allah, have mercy on them as they have brought me up from childhood. O Allah, forgive me, my parents and fellow muslims in the hereafter.
... Continued Umar (r.a) then said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah (saws) say, 'Uways ibn Aamir will come to you with the delegations from Yemen, from Muraad, then from Qaran. He was once afflicted with leprosy and his skin healed except for a dirham's area. He has a mother, and he treats her kindly. If he was to ever swear by Allah (for something) Allah would fulfill his oath. If you can, request that he ask forgiveness for you." `Umar then requested from Uways, "Ask forgiveness for me." And Uways Al-Qaranee did. Example # 2 Whenever people would come from Yemen, Umar (r.a) would ask them, "Is Uways Al-Qaranee amongst you?" until, one year, he met Uways. He said, "Are you Uways Al-Qaranee?" He said, "Yes." `Umar continued, "From Muraad, then Qaran?" He said, "Yes." `Umar then asked, "Were you once afflicted with leprosy and your skin healed except for a dirham's area?" Uways said, "Yes." `Umar finally asked, "Do you have a mother (that is alive)?" He said, "Yes." The best example of showing kindness to the parents was our great prophet. Muhammad (S.A.W.S). Even though he lost his parents in the early age but still he showed the same kindness to his uncle, Abu Talib. Example # 1
The Prophet (saws) said: I entered Paradise and heard someone reciting, I asked: Who is reciting? It was said to me: ‘Haritha Ibn an Nu’man’. The messenger of Allah then said: “That is because of his kindness to his mother”. Example # 3
kept waiting until it had become dawn. O Allah! If You consider that I did that for the fear of you, then please remove the rock. So the rock was shifted and they could see the sky. O Allah, You know that I had old parents whom I used to provide with the milk of my sheep every night. One night I was delayed, so by the time I had come, my parents were already asleep, while my wife and children were crying with hunger. But I decided not to let them drink until my parents had drunk first. I disliked waking my parents us from their sleep. So I... The Prophet (saws) said: Once three people were travelling and it started raining. So they decided to take a shelter inside a cave. The entrance was closed and these three people could not find their way out... So one of them said... Example # 4...Continued
Misconceptions about Parents!!! It is not permissible to celebrate the so-called Mother’s Day and similar innovated festivals because the Prophet (SAWS) said: “Whoever innovates or adds a new thing in Islam will have it rejected.” He (SAWS) did not celebrate Mother’s Day and neither did any of his companions (r.a) of this ummah. Rather it is an innovation (bid’ah) and imitation of the kuffaar. The most common misconception about parents is the celebration of Mother’s Day. It is a misconception, which limits the rights of Parents to just one day. The Prophet (saws) said: “You will certainly follow the ways of those who came before you, handspan by handspan, cubit by cubit, until even if they entered the hole of a lizard, you will do so too.” The Sahabas asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, do you mean the Jews and the Christians?” He said, “Who else?”.