1. “The Lottery” Writing Assignment Weaknesses in Writing to Find and Revise

2. Check to see if your essay contains: Personal pronouns: –I, we, us, you, me, our, mine, my Use of Contractions: –can’t, won’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t, they’re, aren’t, weren’t, wasn’t, etc.

3. Check to see if your essay contains: Homophone mix-ups! –Their over they’re in there car. SHOULD BE –They’re over there in their car. They’re = they are There = the place Their = possessive form of they; something they own

4. Check to see if your essay contains: The word “quote” –“This quote shows…” –States the obvious; do not use the word “quote”

5. Check to see if your essay contains Grammatically Incorrect Incorporated Quotes The author states, “eventually made a great pile of stones in the corner of the square…” Correction: –The author states that the children “eventually made a great pile of stones in the corner of the square…” OR –The author states, “[The children] eventually made a great pile of stones in the corner of the square…”

6. Check to see if your essay contains Passive Voice and Inactive Verbs The lottery is organized by Mr. Summers… –Mr. Summers organizes the lottery… Irony is used… –The author uses irony

7. Check to see if your essay contains Dropped Quotes “The children had stones ready and someone gave little Davy Hutchinson a few pebbles” (Jackson 12). Davy Hutchinson is Tessie’s son… At the end of the story, “The children had stones ready and someone gave little Davy Hutchinson a few pebbles” (Jackson 12). Davy Hutchinson is Tessie’s son…

8. Check to see if your essay contains Citations in the Middle of a Sentence According to John, “When I was five, Sammy stole my favorite toy” (Smith 5), which proves that Sammy demonstrated criminal tendencies since he was a child. According to John, “When I was five, Sammy stole my favorite toy,” which proves that Sammy demonstrated criminal tendencies since he was a child (Smith 5).

9. Check to see if your essay contains Awkward Phrases “The children had stones ready and someone gave little Davy Hutchinson a few pebbles” (Jackson 12). This is an example of irony because An example of irony is when… One example is when… One example was when… This is irony because

10. How to correct these Awkward Phrases State the example first, then use an active verb to state that the example illustrates the point that you’re trying to make. The children give young Davy Hutchinson, Tessie’s son, stones to throw at her, which demonstrates situational irony. Readers do not expect that the victim’s son would participate in the murder of his mother.

11. DON’T FORGET! To prove this thesis, this interpretation must contain two parts. It must: 1.explain how the quote demonstrates foreshadowing or irony 2.explain how this instance of foreshadowing or irony enhances the suspenseful elements of the story