2Example 1In Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, Harry becomes a wizard and engages in his first battle with Lord Voldemort.Good: identifies the story that you’re discussing.Problem: it is a fact, not an argument. This is not something new and innovative.
3Example 2I think that the relationship between Ron and Harry represents the importance of friends in the lives of adolescents.Problem: This is your paper. We already know that you THINK this. Do not use “I think…”Why is this important? What elements are you considering??
4Example 3The friendship between Ron and Harry is one of the most important relationships in Harry Potter.Good: it poses an argument. It takes a stance.Problem: It doesn’t say WHY?? What makes it important? Why is this significant to the story?
5Example 4In Harry Potter, Harry grows from being a sad and lonely kid to being a powerful wizard with the help of several major characters.It is obvious that J.K. Rowling, the author of Harry Potter, thinks that muggles are not as good as witches and wizards.J.K. Rowling deals with several important social issues in her book Harry Potter, such as class tension, moral challenges, and public violence.
6These are NOT Literary Analysis Thesis Statements! Of what significance is this, LITERARILY?
7…let’s create some Literary Analysis Thesis Statements.
8Example 5Harry Potter’s predetermined classification of people into houses based on a prescient fate – Gryfindor good, Slytherin bad, - shows its belief in goodness or badness as inborn traits that cannot be fought.WordyPredetermined & prescient = redundantIts = who is this?How is it literary analysis?
9Example 5 REVISEDIn the Harry Potter series, J. K. Rowling uses the ‘ceremony’ of the sorting hat to reinforce the broader concept of prescient fate.
10Example 6J. K. Rowling uses animals, in the form of patronus’, to show both characteristics and feelings of the characters.So what?Animals & patronus’ = redundant?When does Rowling show this? Address the title of the book!
11Example 6 REVISEDIn the Harry Potter series, J. K. Rowling reinforces character traits through the use of patronus’.
12Example 7How do the Quidditch matches represent the struggle between social classes in British society in the late 90’s?This is a question. How DO the Quidditch matches represent…. ? You tell me!Who is talking? Author and book!!!!
13Example 7 REVISEDIn the Harry Potter series, J. K. Rowling uses the Quidditch matches to represent the struggle between social classes in the British society in the late 1990’s.BUT STILL….Is this Lit analysis?SO WHAT? To what effect?You could try stating, “effectively uses….” but you’d better be sure you have valid, specific points to back this argument up.
14Example 8In the Harry Potter series, the false righteousness of the ministry of magic shows us that what is perceived as good is not always what it seems to be. This is shown in the corruption in the ministry of magic, how they focus on their image more than doing the right thing, and how they constantly stop Harry from doing the right thing because it conflicts with how they want to be perceived.This is a good start! However, it is wordy, and the supporting elements are included. These count more as the introductory paragraph than the thesis statement.So, looking at the first sentence WHY is this significant? How is Rowling telling us this? Why is it important?
15Example 8 REVISEDIn the Harry Potter series, J. K. Rowling effectively uses the Ministry of Magic to reinforce the idea that what is perceived as good is not always what it seems.