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State of the Child Conference Dare County, NC March 31, 2006 Embracing Our Differences Committee.

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1 State of the Child Conference Dare County, NC March 31, 2006 Embracing Our Differences Committee

2 Tolerance Destruction of Stereotypes Celebration of Diversity Greater Sense of Inclusion and Community Higher Social Capital Connections among individuals – social networks and the norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness that arise from them.

3 Tolerance: The First (but not the only) Step “Laws alone cannot secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be spirit of tolerance in the entire population.” – Albert Einstein “The highest result of education is tolerance.” – Helen Keller “Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd.” – Bertrand Russell “The capacity for getting along with our neighbor depends to a large extent on the capacity for getting along with ourselves. The self-respecting individual will try to be as tolerant of his neighbor's shortcomings as he is of his own.” – Eric Hoffer “Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired.” -- Robert F. Kennedy “Human diversity makes tolerance more than a virtue; it makes it a requirement for survival.” – Rene Dubos

4 Tolerance is Inspiring!

5 Without tolerance, we operate on stereotypes and stereotypes are built upon assumptions and generalizations “Those who constantly generalize learn less and less about more and more until they know nothing about everything.“ --American Proverb

6 Stereotypes 1. Stereotyping often results from, and leads to, prejudice and bigotry. 2. Unchecked prejudice and bigotry leads to discrimination, violence, and, in extreme cases, genocide. 3. Prejudice can be spread by the use of propaganda and inflamed by demagogues. 4. Language, particularly slang, is often used to dehumanize members of certain groups of people, and this dehumanization is a precursor of discrimination, isolation, and violence.

7 A "stereotype" is a generalization about a person or group of people. We develop stereotypes when we are unable or unwilling to obtain all of the information we would need to make fair judgments about people or situations. In the absence of the "total picture," stereotypes in many cases allow us to "fill in the blanks." Our society often innocently creates and perpetuates stereotypes, but these stereotypes often lead to unfair discrimination and persecution when the stereotype is unfavorable.

8 High School Stereotypes & Cliques A.P.s Bandos Bohemians Cheerleaders Chess Clubbers Crombies Debaters Druggies Duds Emos Gamers Gangstas Goths Hermits Hip Hoppers Hippies In-Crowd Indies Jocks Metalheads Nerds/Geeks Otaku Preps Rainbow Club Ravers Rednecks Rejects Revolutionaries Spooky Kids Skaters Stoners Stud Gov Theater Kids

9 What are the stereotypes in our own secondary schools? Do our students at Dare County Secondary Schools have healthy or unhealthy rivalries?

10 A Short Film You will see six people playing basketball – three are wearing black shirts and three are wearing white shirts. Each player can do one of three things: 1. Dribble 2. Pass the ball 3. Bounce-Pass the ball CAREFULLY COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES THAT PLAYERS IN WHITE SHIRTS BOUNCE-PASS THE BALL TO OTHER PLAYERS IN WHITE SHIRTS.

11 Quite often in life, we see what we expect to see or what we are told to look for. Thus, when we hold a stereotype, we fail to see the common humanity of others who are, in fact, more like us than unlike us. All human beings share 99.9% common DNA

12 There are two very predictable outcomes that result from stereotyping and a failure of tolerance for diversity:  Bullying which often leads to youth violence, isolation, and depression.  Drug abuse as an attempt to self-medicate emotional problems.

13 School Violence May Result from Bullying San Diego, CA (2002) Charles “Andy” Williams said he liked some of the people he shot. At Santana HS, the then- undersized boy says he was called "bitch" and "faggot" and was made fun of because he did not fight back when bullied. Williams said he told a dozen fellow students about his plan to bring a gun to school and "then, like, everybody's egging me on, egging me on." He said he figured someone would tell, but they didn't and eventually he wondered what he "had to lose." Charles Andrew Williams fired his.22-caliber revolver at least 30 times, wounding 13 and killing two at his Santee, Calif., high school, he dropped his gun and waited for the police, who approached the 15-year-old freshman with understandable caution. "It's just me," he murmured to an officer. Bullying in its various forms is prevalent in schools around the globe. Children learn, practice, and experience bullying beginning at a very young age. Research indicates that this form of aggression is a growing problem affecting student learning, social interactions, and school climate. It has been implicated as a contributor to school violence.

14 Feb 2, 1996 Moses Lake, WAMarch 10, 2000 Savannah, GA Feb 19, 1997 Bethel, AKMay 26, 2000 Lake Worth, FL October 1, 1997 Pearl, MSSeptember 26, 2000 New Orleans, LA December 1, 1997 West Paducah, KYJanuary 17, 2001 Baltimore, MD December 15, 1997 Stamps, ARMarch 5, 2001 Santee, CA March 24, 1998 Jonesboro, ARMarch 7, 2001 Williamsport, PA April 24, 1998 Edinboro, PAMarch 22, 2001 Granite Hills, CA May 19, 1998 Fayetteville, TNMarch 30, 2001 Gary, IN May 21, 1998 Springfield, ORJanuary 15, 2002 New York, NY June 15, 1998 Richmond, VAApril 14, 2003 New Orleans, LA April 20, 1999 Littleton, COApril 24, 2003 Red Lion, PA May 20, 1999 Conyers, GASeptember 24, 2003 Cold Spring, MN November 19, 1999 Deming, NMMarch 21, 2005 Red Lake, MN December 7, 1999 Fort Gibson, OKNovember 9, 2005 Jacksboro, TN February 29, 2000 Mount Morris Township, MIFebruary 23, 2006 Roseburg, OR U.S. School Shootings Since 1996

15 Substance Abuse is a Problem in Dare County A countywide survey of 7 th through 12 th graders (conducted in 2000) found that 29% had used marijuana once or more in the previous 12 months. That number put Dare County above the state average of 21.7% and slightly below the national average of 34%. The Board of Education passed a random drug testing policy for students in grades 7-12 who participate in extracurricular activities or purchase parking permits. Adults say that the drug testing is going well. Students say that many have switched to drugs other than pot (such as cocaine, mushrooms, and prescription drugs) because these substances clear out of the body faster and aren’t as easily detected in a random drug test. Source: Lamb, Joey “Above Average,” Nighthawk News, March 1, 2006.

16 How many times, if any, have you had alcohol to drink in your lifetime? Source: Search Institute Student Profiles of Life Survey, 2006

17 Reports attending one or more parties in the last year “where other kids your age were drinking” Source: Search Institute Student Profiles of Life Survey, 2006

18 Percentage of Students Using Illicit Drugs Three or More Times in Last Year Source: Search Institute Student Profiles of Life Survey, 2006

19 There are new data (2006) about drug use/abuse in Dare County that are being released at this State of the Child Conference.

20  Bullying depends upon exclusion and seeing others as being different in negative ways.  Bullying is widespread.

21 Bullying Statistics  66% of kids say they have witnessed bullying.  30% of kids say that they have been victims of a bully.  1 out of 5 kids admits to being a bully.  8% of students miss one day of class per month for fear of bullies.  43% fear harassment in the bathrooms at their school  282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.  Every 7 minutes a child is bullied on a playground: Adult intervention = 4%, Peer Intervention = 11%, No Intervention = 85%.

22 1 = I’d hit or push them right back. 2 = I’d try to hurt them worse than they hurt me. 3 = I’d try to talk to this person and work out our differences. 4 = I’d talk to a teacher or other adult. (Average = 8%) 5 = I’d just ignore it and do nothing. Imagine that someone at your school hit you or pushed you for no reason. What would you do? Source: Search Institute Student Profiles of Life Survey, 2006

23 Sadly, bullying is widespread. According to a 2004 KidsHealth KidsPoll, 86% of more than 1,200 9 to 13 year-old boys and girls polled said they've seen someone else being bullied, 48% said they've been bullied, and 42% admitted to bullying other kids at least once in a while. Where do you draw the line between good-natured ribbing and bullying?

24 Although teasing may resemble bullying because it can prompt feelings of anger or embarrassment, teasing is less hostile and done with humor, rather than harm. It is a natural part of growing up and beginning to affiliate with one’s peers. It does not shun, exclude, or isolate. Teasing often promotes an exchange between people rather than a one-sided dose of intimidation.

25 Sticks and Stones Can Hurt for a Lifetime According to a report titled "Hostile Hallways" issued by the American Association of University Women, 76% of students have experienced non-physical harassment and 58% have experienced the physical variety. This treatment can even push students to suicide in extreme cases. On the reverse side, in a study in Scandinavia, 60% of those classified as bullies went on to collect at least one criminal conviction. Bullying, once thought of as a problem specific to boys, is also widespread among girls. In fact, a recent study showed that 44% of those students who reported threats and violence were girls.

26 Girls are more likely to experience verbal abuse such as being teased about their appearance (64 percent of the girls versus 58 percent of boys) and have false rumors spread about them (72 percent of girls versus 60 percent of boys).

27 Boys were more often targets of physical aggression such as being beaten up (11 percent of boys versus 6 percent of girls) and having property destroyed (46 percent of boys versus 31 percent of girls).

28 Emotional bullying can be more subtle and can involve isolating or excluding a child from activities (i.e., shunning the victim in the lunchroom or on school outings) or spreading rumors. This kind of bullying is especially common among girls. Physical bullying can accompany verbal bullying and involves things like kicking, hitting, biting, pinching, hair pulling, or threats of physical harm. Racist/Cultural bullying preys on children through racial slurs, offensive gestures, or making jokes about a child's race or cultural traditions. Sexual bullying involves unwanted physical contact or sexually abusive or inappropriate comments. Verbal bullying usually involves name-calling, incessant mocking, and laughing at a child's expense. Types of Bullying

29 A relatively new phenomenon - began surfacing as modern communication technologies advanced. Through email, instant messaging, Internet chat rooms, and electronic gadgets like camera cell phones, cyber bullies forward and spread hurtful images and/or messages. Bullies use this technology to harass victims at all hours, in wide circles, at warp speed. For example, initially was the home to 20- somethings interested in indie music in Los Angeles. Today, you will be hard pressed to find an American teenager who does not know about the site, regardless of whether or not they participate. Over 50 million accounts have been created and the majority of participants are what would be labeled youth - ages 14-24. MySpace has more page views per day than any site on the web except Yahoo! (yes, more than Google or MSN). Cyber Bullying

30 Victims of bullying typically are children who suffer from fear, anxiety, and low self-esteem as a result of being bullyied. They may try to avoid school, and social interactions, in an effort to escape the bullying. Some victims of bullying are so distressed that they commit, or attempt to commit suicide. Even when bullying does not drive victims to the extremes of suicide, victims experience significant psychological harm which interferes with their social and academic and emotional development. The sooner the bullying is stopped, the better for the long-term outcome for victims. If bullying patterns are allowed to continue unchecked, there are long-term consequences for the victim. As adults, victims of bullies are more likely to be depressed, and have lower self- esteem than their non-bullied cohorts. Victims of Bullies

31 Percent of Youth Reporting Risk-Taking Behaviors: Has attempted suicide one or more times Source: Search Institute Student Profiles of Life Survey, 2006 Note National Statistic: Every 78 seconds a teen attempts suicide - every 90 seconds they succeed. (National Center for Health Statistics)

32 Bullies Bullying is often a warning sign that children and teens are heading for trouble and are at risk for serious violence. Teens (particularly boys) who bully are more likely to engage in other antisocial/delinquent behavior (e.g., vandalism, shoplifting, truancy, and drug use) into adulthood. They are four times more likely than nonbullies to be convicted of crimes by age 24, with 60% of bullies having at least one criminal conviction.

33 Threatened Physical Harm to Someone Once or More in the Last 12 Months Source: Search Institute Student Profiles of Life Survey, 2006

34 Hit someone once or more in the last 12 months Physically hurt someone once or more in the last 12 months Source: Search Institute Student Profiles of Life Survey, 2006

35 In one study of junior high and high school students, over 88% said they had witnessed bullying in their schools. Teens who witness bullying can feel guilty or helpless for not standing up to a bully on behalf of a classmate or friend, or for not reporting the incident to someone who could help. They may experience even greater guilt if they are drawn into bullying by pressure from their peers. Some teens deal with these feelings of guilt by blaming the victim and deciding that he or she deserved the abuse. Teens sometimes also feel compelled to end a friendship or avoid being seen with the bullied teen to avoid losing status or being targeted themselves. Witnesses to Bullying Behavior

36 MIAMI HERALD Secretive new video game might inspire school bullies By MATTHEW I. PINZUR, Mar. 13, 2006 A secretive new video game about school bullies could be targeted by Miami-Dade School Board members, who fear the repercussions of a game that is set in a school and includes fights, slingshots and possibly much more. Little is actually known about the game, Bully, which was scheduled for release last fall but has been repeatedly delayed. Opponents of violent video games have been driven largely by its pedigree -- the game is being developed by Rockstar, the controversial designer of the ultra-violent Grand Theft Auto series. In those games, which have been top sellers for years, players steal cars, hire prostitutes and brutally beat and murder enemies, police and bystanders. Opponents fear that Bully will bring the same graphic violence into the virtual schoolhouse. ''This game is built entirely around bullies and is staged in a school -- it's the antithesis of everything we're trying to promote,'' said School Board member Frank Bolaños, who introduced a resolution urging Rockstar not to release Bully, asking local merchants not to sell it and asking parents not to buy it.

37 Center for the Prevention of School Violence Center for the Prevention of School Violence 1801 Mail Service Center Raleigh, NC 27699-1801 800-299-6054 919-733-3388 ext 332

38 Bullying and Exclusion Prevents Some Children From Satisfying a Fundamental Human Need: The Need To Belong

39 Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: Belonging is a Fundamental Human Need

40 Become a Lake

41 An Antidote to Bullying and a Guide to the Future of a Vibrant, Safe, and Compassionate Community: A Celebration of Diversity and Differences


43 Diversity is a term used broadly to refer to many demographic variables, including but not limited to race, ethnicity, religion, culture, language, gender, color, national origin, disability, sexual orientation, age, education, socio-economic status, cognitive abilities, geographic origin, physical stature, weight, and skill characteristics.

44 NORTH CAROLINA19902000# Growth Total Population6,628,6378,049,3131,420,767 Caucasian5,008,4915,804,656796,165 African-American1,456,3231,737,545281,222 Native American80,15599,55119,396 Asian/Nat.Hawaiian52,166117,67265,506 Hispanic76,726378,063302,237 Other31,502186,629155,127 The increases in minority populations between the 1990 and 2000 census data in NC is astounding. The minority population in NC grew by 823,488 people between 1990 and 2000. If the trend continues, NC and Dare County will both continue to become rich in racial diversity.

45 DARE COUNTY19902000# Growth Total Population22,74629,9677,221 Caucasian21,76628,3936,627 African-American811797-14 Native American378346 Asian/Nat.Hawaiian7912445 Hispanic199666467 Other53269216 The minority population in Dare County grew by 760 people between 1990 and 2000, with the Hispanic population more than tripling over that time span.

46 The U.S. Census Bureau predicts that by the middle of the next century, race in America will be turned upside down. In 2050 Caucasian will be a minority, and present-day minorities will be in the majority. One group of Americans already exemplifies that future. The Millennium Generation, today's 15-to-25-year-olds, is the most racially mixed generation this country has ever seen. Its members are 60% more likely to be non-Caucasian than those of their parents' and grandparents' generations, and an increasing number are racially mixed. A third are African-American, Latino, Asian, or Native American. And the two-thirds who are Caucasian have grown up with more exposure to people of other races, through school, sports, dating and the media. Appreciating and Celebrating Diversity Prepares us for the Future of America

47 If we could shrink the earth's population (approximately 6.5 billion) to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following. There would be: 57 Asians 21 Europeans 14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south 8 Africans 52 would be female and 48 would be male 70 would be non-Caucasian and 30 would be Caucasian 70 would be non-Christian and 30 would be Christian 89 would be heterosexual and 11 would be homosexual 6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the U.S. 80 would live in substandard housing and 70 would be unable to read 50 would suffer from malnutrition, 1 would be near death, and 1 would be near birth 1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education and 1 would own a computer When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for acceptance, understanding, and education becomes glaringly apparent. Our Global Village

48 Respecting the Values and Beliefs of People Who Are of a Different Race or Culture Than I Am… 1 = Not at all like me. 2 = A little like me. 3 = Somewhat like me. 4 = Quite like me. 5 = Very much like me. Source: Search Institute Student Profiles of Life Survey, 2006

49 1 = Not at all like me. 2 = A little like me. 3 = Somewhat like me. 4 = Quite like me. 5 = Very much like me. Knowing A Lot About People Who Are of a Different Race Than I Am Source: Search Institute Student Profiles of Life Survey, 2006

50 1 = Not at all like me. 2 = A little like me. 3 = Somewhat like me. 4 = Quite like me. 5 = Very much like me. Enjoying Being With People Who Are of a Different Race Than I Am Source: Search Institute Student Profiles of Life Survey, 2006

51 1 = Not important 2 = Somewhat important 3 = Not sure 4 = Quite important 5 = Extremely important Helping to Make Sure That All People Are Treated Fairly Source: Search Institute Student Profiles of Life Survey, 2006

52 Speaking Up For Equality (Everyone Should Have The Same Rights and Opportunities) 1 = Not important 2 = Somewhat important 3 = Not sure 4 = Quite important 5 = Extremely important Source: Search Institute Student Profiles of Life Survey, 2006

53 Percent of Youth Reporting Each of 8 Thriving Indicators: Values Diversity Places high importance on getting to know people of other racial/ethnic groups The Average across all secondary schools in Dare County is = 58%

54 Percent of Youth Reporting External Assets: Caring School Climate Source: Search Institute Student Profiles of Life Survey, 2006

55  Promotes tolerance  Reduces bullying behavior  Contributes to the robust exchange of ideas essential to a quality system of education  Breaks down barriers among individuals of different races, religions, ethnicities, abilities, socio-economic status, sexual orientation, etc.  Improves academic performance  Improves social capital and connections in the community A Celebration of Diversity:

56 Higher Social Capital Child development is powerfully shaped by social capital. Trust, networks, and norms of reciprocity within a child’s family, school, peer group, and larger community have far reaching effects on their opportunities and choices, and hence on their behavior and development. Source: Robert Putnam, Ph.D. Saguaro Seminar, Harvard University. Bowling Alone.

57 Public spaces in high social-capital areas are cleaner, people are friendlier, and the streets are safer. Traditional neighborhood “risk factors” such as high poverty and residential mobility are not as significant as most people assume. Places have higher crime rates in large part because people don’t participate in community organizations, don’t supervise younger people, and aren’t linked through networks of friends. Higher Social Capital

58 Economic prosperity. A growing body of research suggests that where trust and social networks flourish, individuals, firms, neighborhoods, and even nations prosper economically. Social capital can help to mitigate the insidious effects of socioeconomic disadvantage. Higher Social Capital

59 Health. There appears to be a strong relationship between the possession of social capital and better health. ‘As a rough rule of thumb, if you belong to no groups but decide to join one, you cut your risk of dying over the next year in half. If you smoke and belong to no groups, it’s a toss-up statistically whether you should stop smoking or start joining.’ Higher Social Capital

60 Happiness: Regular club attendance, volunteering, entertaining, or church attendance is the happiness equivalent of getting a college degree or more than doubling your income. Civic connections rival marriage and affluence as predictors of life happiness. Higher Social Capital

61  Joining one group cuts your odds of dying over the next year in half. Joining two groups cuts it in quarter.  Communities with higher levels of social capital produce children with higher SAT scores and higher performance on a broad range of testing.  Communities with higher social capital have lower dropout rates, higher retention, and less youth violence.  The more connected we are in our community, the less colds, heart attacks, strokes, cancer, depression, and premature death we experience.  The higher the social capital, the less murders and violent crimes in our neighborhood.  Blood donations are higher in communities with high social capital.  Road rage is reduced in communities with high social capital.  Measured happiness goes up when we are socially connected in mutually respectful, trusting relationships based on exchange and reciprocity. The Collective Benefits of High Social Capital

62 Every wisdom and spiritual tradition teaches the importance of The Golden Rule – Of accepting, nurturing, and caring for each other

63 Nature loves biodiversity: bio meaning life and diversity meaning different. Scientists believe that we're just beginning to uncover the number of plants, animals and insects that exist in our fascinating and diverse world. Did you know that a rainforest (which accounts for less then 7% of the Earth) contains MILLIONS of species of plant and animal life? Did you know that a person could walk for a mile through the rain forest and never find two trees of the same kind?

64 Namaste and Aloha: Recognizing our deep and transcendent relationship to all beings

65 Consider this Image Anti-gay group protests at the Aug. 28 funeral for Army Staff Sgt. Jeremy Doyle, who died in Iraq. Members of the Topeka, Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church dragged U.S. flags on the ground and shouted insults at Doyle's wife and other survivors outside a mortuary in Martinsville, Ind. Church Rev. Fred Phelps said American soldiers are being killed in Iraq as vengeance from God for protecting a country that harbors gays and accepts homosexuality.

66 Consider this Image Autistic hoopster shoots lights out! Feb. 24, 2006: Jason McElwain (J-Mac), a 17-year-old senior at Greece- Athena High School near Rochester, N.Y., is autistic and, as the team manager, usually sits on his basketball team’s bench. But he scored 20 points in four minutes in his team's home finale. His schoolmates carried him out of the gym on their shoulders.

67 What a great story about inclusion, friendship and community!

68 Our community and our schools must be places where ALL people are treated with dignity and respect, are physically and emotionally safe, and feel empowered to reach their full potential. What images will define us in Dare County?

69 Lessons From Toulouse  Be patient, persistent, never give up  Welcome the stranger

70 “Among all the strange things that men have forgotten, the most universal and catastrophic lapse of memory is that by which they have forgotten that they are living on a star.” – G.K. Chesterton “We must become the change we want to see in the world.” — Gandhi

71 What can each of us do individually and collectively to insure that every child in Dare County is treated with dignity and respect, is safe from physical and emotional harm, and is given opportunities to live up to his or her potential? What kind of school culture can we help create? What are our next steps? “The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.” – Frederick Buechner

72 Thank You. Mitakuye Oyasin. From Lakota: “We are all related.” If you are interested in obtaining this Power Point presentation, please go to Kathleen Brehony’s website: and click on the tab for Power Point

73 Bill Gates - lower left Paul Allen, the owner of the Seattle Seahawks, (net worth $20 billion) - lower right

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