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Pam Piedfort Revision in Living Color. “A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.” --Henry Adams.

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Presentation on theme: "Pam Piedfort Revision in Living Color. “A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.” --Henry Adams."— Presentation transcript:

1 Pam Piedfort Revision in Living Color

2 “A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.” --Henry Adams

3 Myself As A Writer Early influences: Phonics as reading Writing as fill-in-the-blank Spelling, reading, and English as discrete subjects First direct writing instruction in ninth grade-English Journal Plan High School Journalism

4 My First Reader Jack and Janet, Tip and Mitten

5 What My Early Literacy Instruction Taught Me An amazing ability to spell An freakish ability to diagram sentences An superhuman memory for grammar rules A physical discomfort with split infinitives A visceral anxiety over noun- pronoun disagreement

6 What My Early Literacy Instruction Did Not Teach Me To read for pleasure or for a purpose To read expressively To discern good literature To write with voice To understand on various levels To anticipate a resolution To predict and confirm And on and on and on

7 Literacy Today Focus on “connected text” Phonics as a strategy; not a focus Literacy taught connecting all the language arts Daily real reading and real writing Self-selected reading Self-selected writing

8 Writer’s Workshop Brainstorming Prewriting Drafting Conferring Revising Editing Publishing

9 Importance of Choice Nanci Atwell

10 Revision in Living Color Why is revision important?

11 Revision in Living Color Karen Hesse

12 Revision in Living Color Betsy Byars

13 Revision in Living Color How do you teach revision?

14 Revision in Living Color The evolution of a lesson plan: “Myself as a Reader” assignment Ordinal numbers beginning paragraphs Regurgitated conclusions Many run-ons and fragments Punctuation errors, mostly commas Little paragraphing precision, if any Little pizzazz or flair

15 Revision in Living Color Rationale for lesson “Writers can highlight a section of text in different colored inks as a way to reorganize. Especially when they’re writing about ideas, students’ drafts may jump from topic to topic and back again. When revising a draft to organize it, they use fine-point markers and circle in one color all references to one idea or topic, and so on. On the subsequent draft they combine each of the sections marked with a particular color.” (Atwell, 1998)

16 Scoring Rubric 531 Content The content reflects the main points of the writing process. The content reflects most of the main points of the writing process. The content shows major gaps in the main points of the writing process. Organization The structure shows well- developed, focused paragraphs, an engaging lead, and a satisfying conclusion. The format follows the assigned parameters. The structure shows mostly well- developed, focused paragraphs, an efficient lead, and a repetitive conclusion. The format does not follow the assigned parameters. The structure shows poorly- focused paragraphs, a poor or missing lead, and a confusing or nonexistent conclusion. The format does not follow the assigned parameters. Sentence Fluency The writing reflects a variety of sentence structures, lengths, and beginnings. The variety adds to the flow of the work. The writing reflects some variety of sentence structures, lengths, and beginnings. The work does not flow smoothly in all places. The writing reflects little variety of sentence structures, lengths, and beginnings. The work flows smoothly in few places. Conventions Spelling is correct, grammar and usage are standard, and comma rules are followed. Most spelling is correct, grammar and usage are generally standard, and most commas rules are followed. Many spelling, grammar and usage, and comma errors. Writing Process Notes and drafts show revision and editing that improve the overall quality of the work. Notes and drafts show some revision and editing that improve the quality of part of the work. Notes and drafts show little revision and editing.

17 Prewriting à la Betsy Byars

18 Share Your Scraps Share with your neighbors Discuss with the neighbors something you heard that surprised you, saddened you, connected with you Feel free to “borrow” anything that reminded you of something you forgot

19 Draft for Ten Minutes This activity will work best with more than one paragraph.

20 Revision in Living Color Find the topic sentence in each paragraph. Highlight them all in the same color. Now, with your topic sentence in mind, highlight in another color every sentence that supports it. Draw arrows to where unhighlighted sentences should be moved or draw one line through to delete.

21 Jennifer’s Revisions

22 Revision in Living Color Circle every end mark in your writing. Put a box around the first word in each sentence. What do you notice about your beginnings? Are they all the same? Is there a variety of compound, complex, simple? How long are your sentences? Is there variety? Are any overlong? Mark any changes.

23 Megan’s Revision

24 Revision in Living Color Highlight each comma in your piece. In another color, highlight coordinate conjunctions. According to the list, put the number of the reason you included the comma. If it doesn’t match one of the rules, delete it or confer with a neighbor or me. Comma rules: 1.Words in a series 2.Introductory dependent clause 3.Introductory words or phrases 4.Quotations

25 Megan’s Revision

26 In summary, Children need to write their own stories. The ownership of their stories will make revision more important and more meaningful. Using color in revision makes concepts jump off the page.

27 And so what we want is...

28 What we battle is... As Barry Lane says, write your TAKS plans, close the door, and teach literacy!

29 Bibliography Atwell, Nancie. In the Middle. 2nd ed. Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann Atwell, Nancie. Atwell Byars, Betsy. The Moon & I. New York, NY: Simon & Shuster Books for Young Readers Calkins, Lucy. The Art of Teaching Writing. Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann Duffy, Gerald. Explaining Reading: A Resource for Teaching Concepts, Skills, and Strategies. New York, NY: The Guilford Press Graves, Donald. Lane, Barry. B67247&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=15 B67247&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=15 Peha, Steven. Turbill, J. (2002, February). The four ages of reading philosophy and pedagogy: A framework for examining theory and practice. Reading Online, 5(6). Available: html


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