1. Here we see the ingredients necessary for the oil cleanup mycoinstallation. We have a number of small floats, which have a hole at the centre, through which thin bamboo supports for the subsurface edge of the skirt and the substrate supporting net are able to be inserted. The floats will also attach to six bamboo spacers which will spread out to form the web of subsurface net supports. The long plastic skirt is water and oil reppellent and also deeper than the depth of the oil on the water. The weights are sufficient to hold the buoyant thin bamboo poles vertical under the water, and prevent the bottom end of the plastic skirt from coming to the surface. The substrate is straw, which is cellulosic, and so the remediating fungus would be cellulase producing, halophyllic and petrocatalytic. Likely candidates are salt marsh species which break down cellulose, as there is little cellulose in marine ecosystems.

3. PREPARATION OF OIL CONTAINING SKIRTING. The purpose of this skirting is to contain the spill and prevent it from spreading while it is being mycoremediated. The skirting extends above the water to account for wave action and below the water to a depth greater than that of the layer of crude oil. In these first three drawings on the previous page: Floats are first fastened at spacer-distance apart to the interior edge of the plastic skirt.

4. Secondly, a thin bamboo pole, painted and sealed as a preservative, is inserted into the centre of each float and fastened into place. The top and bottom end of the bamboo placed vertically against the skirt are tied onto the plastic skirt. The bottom of each bamboo is then weighted, and bamboo spacers are attached to the floats and the skirt, to prevent the skirt collapsing, which would happen if the floats were permitted to move closer together.

5. In the second diagram, it is possible to see the view from the ocean surface, where the bamboo and floats float on the surface, and the pole- affixed skirt extends out of the water with the skirt. The las diagram and first diagram overleaf show another thin bamboo pole being nailed to the top of the verticals. This adds extra rigity and further safeguards against the top of the skirt dipping into the water, which would cause some crude oil to escape from the barrier and cause who dares to think what kind of mischief.

7. In the TOP VIEW it is possible to see the above view of the spill with the completed skirting barrier. The filthy mess that the scandalous BP have abhorently left all over the ocean surface is now contained by the floating skirt of champions. So far so good eh? Now its time to get some crude-oil-eating mushrooms in there. The spawn bearing substrate needs to be supported and held against the floating oil or it will fall to the ocean bed and be totally useless.

9. On the previous page, you can see the scheme for creating a supported subsurface net underneath the spill, at the same height as the bottom edge of the mighty skirt. As you can see with your eyes, in the top right of the diagram is a very similar setup to the float and pole combination that we saw in the ineffable skirt. The float is pegged at one end of the vertical. However, in this case the height of the pole above the water is unimportant because it will not be holding the aerial section of the oh- so-oilproof skirt.

10. Bueno. The bamboo spacers for the vast expanse of subsurface-net supporting vertical bamboo poles are arranged, as your visual cortex perceives, in a tessalated triangle pattern. The buoyant painted and sealed bamboo poles float naturally on the surface and provide extra buoyancy and stability for the subsurface net. In the next graphic, you can see the net being affixed to the weights at the bottom of each vertical bamboo. You can also see clearly the position of the oilspill layer at the surface.

12. So here we have the cross section of the completed installation, yo. You can see the net bulging downwards under the weight of the deposited substrate. Here it is dropped in by the mythical insectoid cordizep, but there are other ways of depositing it. If a zeppelin is to be employed a zeppelin NT may be available through Lindsay T. This might be a superior option as the zeppelin is able to hover and also carry large quantities of substrate at one time. Right, lecture over, now time to email me back at hyperspesh@gmail.com and let me know how you feel about this sort of thing.hyperspesh@gmail.com Cheers me hearties.