Lawyer: “What is your date of birth?” Witness: “July 15 th.” Lawyer: “What year?” Witness: “Every year.”
Lawyer: “Now, sir, I’m sure you are an intelligent and honest man—” Witness: “Thank you. If I weren’t under oath, I’d return the compliment.”
Witness: “He was about medium height and had a beard.” Lawyer: “Was this a male or a female?”
Lawyer: “Have you lived in this town all your life?” Witness: “Not yet.”
Lawyer: “Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?” Witness: “No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region?”
Lawyer: “Could you see him from where you were standing?” Witness: “I could see his head.” Lawyer: “And where was his head?” Witness: “Just above his shoulders.”
Lawyer: “Did you blow your horn or anything?” Witness: “After the accident?” Lawyer: “Before the accident.” Witness: “Sure, I played for ten years, I even went to school for it.”
Lawyer: “What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?” Witness: “Gucci sweats and Reeboks.”
Lawyer: “What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?” Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?” Lawyer: ”And why did that upset you?” Witness: “My name is Susan.”
Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?” Witness: “No.” Lawyer: “Did you check for blood pressure?” Witness: ”No.”
Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?” Witness: “No.” Lawyer: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?” Witness: “No.”
Lawyer: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?” Witness: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.” Lawyer: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?” Witness: “Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.”
My Day In Court... 3 Lessons I Learned (Re-learned) #1:Is this a winnable case? #2Effective Communications.. Do’s & Don’ts #3Pre – Game Preparation is Critical!
Different Ways Of Looking At Things Judge: ‘Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully, and I’ve decided to give your wife $700 a week. Witness: “That’s very fair, your honor, and every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”
A doctor examining a woman, who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside and said, “I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.” ‘Me neither doc, ‘said the husband. ‘But she’s a good cook and really good with the kids.’
A man recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. ‘I’m O.K. But I didn’t like the four letter-word the doctor used in surgery,’ he answered. ‘What did he say,’ asked the nurse. ‘Oops!’
1.Which age group represents the largest share of home buyers in 2010? a.18-24 b.25-34 c.35-44 d.45-54 B. 25-34
2.What do home buyers most want from an agent? a.Help arrange financing b.Help negotiate price and terms of the sale c.Help with the PAPERWORK d.Help find the right home to purchase D
3.Social Media is very much a part of our lives. Place an “x” next to each true statement and an “o” next to each false statement: ___ The principles addressed in the Code of Ethics applies online. ____The Fair Housing Laws apply online. ____Because online activities and practices are challenging to monitor, licensees need not be concerned with daily practices online. ____ It’s a good idea for real estate practitioners to spend the bulk of marketing, prospecting and communication efforts focused on the use of social media initiatives and tools.
4.What did Realtors report concerning expectations of home prices over the next year? -prices will fall ____ - 40% -prices will rise (0-5%) ____ - 54% -prices will rise (5-10%) ____ - 5% -prices will rise (10-20%) ____ - 1%
5.Of the sellers who used a real estate agent to sell their home, what percent either used the agent before to buy/sell or had the agent referred to them? -used before 23% -referred 41%
6.What percent of residential property buyers reported that they purchased a home to use as their primary residence? 73% P.S. 17% 10%
7.What did consumers say about... “Is NOW considered a good time to purchase real estate?” - Primary Residence 75% Yes - Vacation Properties 80% Yes - Investment Properties 83% Yes
Most Important Factor in Choosing a Real Estate Agent - Reputation of agent - Agent is honest and trustworthy - Agent is friend or family member - Agent’s knowledge of the neighborhood
What Buyers Want Most from Real Estate Agents ___ Help find the right home to purchase ___ Help with negotiations on price and terms of sale ___ Help with paperwork ___ Help with CMA ___ Help with financing (afford?...arrange) ___ Other: _______________
What Sellers Most Want from Real Estate Agents ___ Help with pricing competitively ___ Help find a buyer for the home ___ Help market the home and sell within a specific timeframe ___ Help fix up the home to sell it for more ___ Help with negotiations ___ Help with paperwork/inspections/preparing for closing ___ Other: _____________________
Old is When... 1.Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot. 2.“Getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot. 3.Your sweetie says, “lets go upstairs and make love”.. Your response is “pick one, I can’t do both.”
Advantages Of Growing Older 1.Your secrets are now safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either. 2.In a hostage situation, you’re likely to be released first. 3.Sexual harassment charges against you just don’t stick.
#2How many “thank you” notes are you writing each day? (hand written)
#3How many breakfast/lunch meetings do you have each week? (one – on – one...follow the FROG)
#4On a scale of 1 – 10 (10 is high), how visible are you in your community? (face time)
#5What do you do to cause other agents to want to do business with you? (are you agent user friendly?)
#6On a scale of 1 – 10 (10 is high.. again) how are you about follow up with: - consumers - other agents
#7What do you do to stay visible or “beat the drum” other than face – to – face relationship building?
#8What specifically are you doing to get listings priced to sell that is working well today?
Excuses to insurance companies to warrant a claim 1.As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign has ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. 2.I was on my way to the doctor’s with rear- end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
3.The guy was all over the place. I had to swerve a number of time before I hit him. 4.I saw the slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car. 5.An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. 6.I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.