Presentation on theme: "INTRO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE For Superior Court Self Help Center Staff"— Presentation transcript:
1 INTRO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE For Superior Court Self Help Center Staff Traumatic Impacts,Perpetrator Characteristics & Red FlagsNancy Marshall, LMFT,Domestic Violence Intervention CollaborativeSteve Baron, LMFT, Retired, Superior Court,Family Court Services, Santa Clara County
2 Context IMPACT OF BATTERING TRAUMA ON THE VICTIM How the survivor presents is often the direct result of her experience, and contextually tends to be a logical response that facilitated survival of traumatic experience.Factor in:Perception of self as a wo/man, and perception of roles and responsibilities in the context of a relationshipTraumatic impact, emotional reaction and emotional well-being.Abusive behaviors subjected to, and any recurring pattern and escalation of abusive behaviors, learned coping skills, and reactivity to abusive behaviors.Nancy Marshall 2001
4 Sexual Abuse Forced or coerced sex (rape) Violence sex Attack on genitalsAttack on breastsUnwanted use of objects during sexCoerced sex with others
5 Intimidation Threatening looks Gestures Making a fist, getting right in her face, throwing things, breaking things….Displaying a weaponGun, knife, club, belt…Destruction of personal propertyClothing, photographs, driver’s license, green card…Hurting pets
6 Isolation Cutting off from friends, family Not being allowed to go anywhere aloneBeing followedHaving mail openedListening in on phone calls, destroying the phoneInterfering with workDemanding to know where she is at all timesJealousyDisabling her carCalling her constantly
7 Economic Abuse Interfering with job – job loss Preventing her from working outside the homeTaking her moneyRuining her credit
8 Emotional Abuse Name calling Put downs Mind games (double binds) Double standardsBlamingFalse accusationsProjectionGuilt trips
9 Minimizing, Denying & Blaming Denying the abuse happened, minimizing the seriousness of the abuse,Denying or minimizing the seriousness of the resulting harm.Refusing to allow medical interventionBlaming his behavior on herRefusing to accept responsibility for what he didRefusing to accept the reality of what he didI didn’t push you – you tripped.
10 Threats Used For Control Threats to harm her, her family, her friends, her pets.Threats to harm propertyThreats to report her to police, welfare, child protective servicesThreats to kill himself, to kill her and/or the children
11 Using Children Threatening to hurt the children Threatening to take the childrenPutting her down to her childrenSending messages through the childrenUsing visitation to harass her
12 Abusive Attitudes Often internalized by both men and women: Male privilegeWomen’s job is to serve men, service men.Men are in charge, make all the decisionsMen are superior to women.Double standardsMen who cheat are MEN, women who cheat are ________...Men can go out for beer, with their buddies…, women who go out are neglecting their husbands, children….Rigid gender rolesRaising children, keeping house, cooking – that’s women’s workMen are worth more money on the job than women
13 / I S O L A T N HOW DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IMPACTS EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING BATTERING / INTIMATE TERRIORISMHONEYMOON /MANIPULATION / TERRORISTTHREATS/ISOLATNself worthtrustself-esteemjob losseconomic stabilityindependencefearsense of competencefriends / familymedical carereality testingselfCYCLEOFVIOLENCETENSIONBUILDINGEXPLOSIONNancy Marshall 2001
14 Repetitive Acts tend to Compound Trauma Nancy Marshall 2001
15 CUSTOMER’S CONTEXT CONTEXT CONTEXT CONTEXT CONTEXT SocializationCultureReligionOppressionGang CulturesDrug CulturesLanguageImmigrationFear of Law Enforcement/AuthorityProfessionMental Health Professional, Judge, Cop
16 Symptoms / Behaviors Sleeping too little or sleeping too much. Changes in eating patterns.Difficulty concentrating, or intense concentration to keep intrusive thoughts at bay.Hypervigilance to surroundings, or a decrease in awareness of surroundings.Avoidance of thoughts, feelings, places, activities, people and /or conversations that remind her of her abuser and/or the trauma she experiences, or a need to talk about the trauma and think about the places, activities, … related to the trauma, repetitively.Nancy Marshall 2001
17 Typical Reactions or Symptoms Irritability, or absence of emotional responsiveness/reactivity.Feeling detached - from her experiences, from other people in her life, from her life.Loss if interest, loss of hope.Apathy or outrageLack of ability to recognize or experience more than a limited range of emotions (e.g. anger, sadness, guilt and/or shame).Anxiety – feeling restless, keyed up, on edge. Anxiety can range from mild to panic attacks.Nancy Marshall 2001
18 Typical Reactions or Symptoms… Flashbacks – being flooded with memory. This can be emotional, physiological, and/or cognitive (with and without visual and or auditory flashback of the trauma).Fear: for physical, emotional, economic safety; for children’s safety; for ability to recover and provide for self (and any children) in the future.Feeling like she is loosing her mind.Substance use/abuseNancy Marshall 2001
19 Symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings or conversations associated with the traumaEfforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse recollections of the traumaInability to recall an important aspect of the traumaMarkedly diminished interest or participating in significant activitiesFeeling of detachment or estrangement from othersRestricted range of affectSense of a foreshortened futureDifficulty falling or staying asleepIrritability or outbursts of angerDifficulty concentratingHypervigilanceExaggerated startle responseNancy Marshall 2001
20 Drugs, Alcohol & Domestic Violence There is a notable overlap of drugs and/or alcohol in cases involving domestic violence, and drugs and alcohol contribute to impacts of domestic violence.As disinhibitors, drugs and alcohol, especially alcohol, can contribute to increased levels of violence.With rare exception, Drugs and Alcohol do not cause domestic violenceConsider exploring behaviors that happen only in private, or primarily in private, and some simple logic.
21 Drugs, Alcohol & Domestic Violence… Victims are often coerced into using drugs and/or alcohol by their partners.Drugs and/or alcohol are a way to escape the nightmare of domestic violence.Batterer’s can gain an increased level of power and control over victims if they become “hooked” – especially if the Batterer is their connection.
22 Drugs, Alcohol & Domestic Violence… Batterer’s will often use the excuse of being high/loaded to justify their abuse.Batterer’s will at times get victims high, knowing their victim won’t call the police while under the influence.There can be a circular pattern…Reengaging in a power and control dynamic can trigger relapse for victims in recovery.Relapse can make victims vulnerable to reengagement in a domestic violence relationship.
23 SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS: Male Victims Men who reach out for help face obstacles women do not face.Lack of full service shelteringLack of servicesSkepticismAttitudes about men being “MEN”
24 SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS: Same Sex Relationships Law enforcement response does not always look at altercations in same sex relationships as domestic violence.Impacts on safetyImpacts on servicesImpacts on protective ordersImpacts on Interventions
25 SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS: DV & Mental Illness Seriously mentally ill are more susceptible to victimizationThey are often very dependent on their abusive partnersThey often are not believed, or may be blamed, when they disclose the abusePerpetrators behaviors are often perceived as being “understandable” vs. power and control.
26 SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS: DV & Law Enforcement Officials Training and job requirements of law enforcement officials, when inappropriately directed at intimate partners, exacerbate impacts on victim emotional and physical safety.Establish who is in charge using presence, voice, stance.Maintain controlUse interviewing, interrogation, surveillance and eavesdropping to gain informationLie effectively to maintain officer safety and gain evidence in undercover workUnderstand the law and the limitations of the law, grounds for arrest, chargeable offenses, and offenses that lack sufficient evidence for law enforcement response.Victims are coming to a Court which is protected by Law Enforcement
27 Hand Holding Needed No time to hold hands……. Reflective listeningValidateNormalizeReflect contextCultureFear & ConcernsBe mindful that Court is a foreign country for most customers.Emotionally overwhelmedDespite clear instructions, many don’t “get it”.Emotions can impact cognitive function.Be mindful of the customer’s safety at court. Factor in special considerations.Stalking behaviors, threats to harm/kill, gang – drug affiliations of perpetrator, legal process (is perpetrator facing a 3rd strike?), information released at court as to location of victim services.If possible bridge customer with domestic violence advocates at court. As a minimum provide a list of local domestic violence agencies.
28 CAUTIONThe most dangerous time in a domestic violence relationship is when the victim is leaving or after she has left.Nancy B. Marshall r. 2000
30 CHILDRENThe Family Violence Prevention Fund (www.endabuse.org) reports:15.5 million U.S. children live in families in which partner violence occurred at least once in the past year. 7 million live in failies in which severe partner violence occurred.The majority of U.S. nonfatal intimate partner victimizations of women (two-thirds) occur at home.In a single day in 2007, 13,495 children were living in a domestic violence shelter or transitional housing facility.
31 Children-Family Violence Prevention Fund …Children who have been exposed to family violence suffer symptoms of PTSD, such as bed-wetting or nightmares, and are at greater risk than their peers of having alergies, asthma, gastrointestinal problems, headaches and flu.Children of mothers who experience prenatal physical domestic violence are at an increased risk of exhibiting aggressive, anxious, depressed or hyperactive behavior.Females exposed to their parents’ dv as adolescents are significantly more likely to become victims of dating violence than daughters of nonviolent parents.Children who experience childhood trauma, including witnessing incidents of dv, are at greater risk of having serious adult health problems (tobacco use, substance abuse, obesity, cancer, heart disease, depression, unintended pregnancy…
32 Effects of DV on children The Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence (www.acadv.org) provide an excellent outline of age-specific indicators in children exposed to DV.Infants:Basic need for attachment is disruptedRoutines around feeding/sleeping are disturbedInjuries while “caught in the crossfire”Irritability or inconsolable cryingFrequent illnessesDifficulty sleepingDiarrheaDevelopmental DelaysLack of responsiveness
33 Men who batter were also more often angry with their children… Jeffrey Eddleson and Oliver Williams report in “Parenting by Men who Batter” (Oxford University Press, 2007)Men who batter were more likely to have used negative child-rearing practices, such as spankings…Men who batter were also more often angry with their children…Many battered mothers report that their abusers purposefully involve children in violent events.In one study, 48.6% of Mother’s reported that they were intentionally hurt at least sometimes when they intervened to protect their children38.7% reported that their perpetrator frequently or very frequently hurt them for their children’s acts22.5% reported that the perpetrator frequently or very frequently blamed them for the perpetrators own excessive punishment of the chldren.
34 Children… Preschool Somatic or psychosomatic complaints Regression IrritabilityFearful of being aloneExtreme separation anxietyDevelopmental delaysSympathetic toward mother
35 Children… Elementary age Vascillate between being eager to please and being hostileVerbal about home lifeDevelopmental delaysExternalized behavior problemsInadequate social skill developmentGender role modeling creates conflict/confusion
36 Children… Preadolescence Behavior problems become more serious Increased internalized behavior difficulties: depression, isolation, withdrawalEmotional difficulties: shame, fear, confusion, rage.Poor social skillsDevelopmental delaysProtection of mother, sees her as “weak”.Gaurded/secretive about familyAdolescenceInternalized and externalized behavior problems can become extreme and dnagerous: drug/alcohol, truancy, gangs, sexual acting out, pregnancy, runaway suicidalDating relationships may reflect violence learned or witnessed in the home
37 Children…Children can be used in a variety of ways in power and control relationshipsUsed as a spyWho is mom seeingWhat time does she come homeWho does she talk toWhat kind of underwear is she wearingWhere does she workUsed to coerce mom into coming back homeEmotional appealsUndermining her authority so the kids do not listen to herSending messages to her through the children
38 Children… Some children are very resilient and are minimally impacted Some show no symptoms initially, with behavioral indicators of trauma surfacing over timeSome show immediate symptoms which dissipate over time.
39 Adult victim reactions ChildrenDegree of traumaDegree of isolationDuration of oppression / abuseType of abusePhysicalEmotional/mentalReactive / resistiveHistory / no history of reportsPower differentialFinancialEducationProfessional
40 “Characteristics of Batterers” Lundy Bancroft and Jay G. Silverman “The Batterer as Parent” (Sage Publications, Inc. 2002)ControlCriticism, verbal abuse, isolation cruelty …Arguments and decision making, household responsibilities, emotional caretaking and attention, sexual relations, finances, child rearing, outside social contacts.EntitlementExpectation of family life to center on the meeting of their needs, often characterizing his/her partner as selfish or uncaring when attempting to assert her own needs.High and unreasonable expectations: Physical, emotional, sexual. Meals, home maintenance, children’s behaviors, social calendar…Double standardsBatterer may define his abusive behaviors as efforts to protect his own rights and see his partner’s attempts to protect herself as abuse of him.Selfishness and Self-CenterednessBatterer may perceive his needs as being of paramount importance, to have their needs be anticipated even when not expressed, and to have the needs of other family members postponed or abandoned. Usually occurs in specific relation to his partner or his children.
41 Batterers Superiority Possessiveness Confusion of Love and Abuse Batterer’s often believe themselves to be superior to their victims, therefore treating their partners’ opinions with disrespect and impatience. (disgust, harsh criticism, ridicule, humiliation, referring to partner as “the wife” or “her” or other terms vs. her name…)PossessivenessPerceives partner as an owned objectIncreased risk for sexual assaultINCREASED RISK FOR VIOLENCE WHEN A RELATIONSHIP TERMINATESConfusion of Love and AbuseRelationship violence may be described as a reflection of how much love they have for their partner… “I wouldn’t get like that if I didn’t love her so much”.
42 Batterers… Manipulativeness Contradictory Statements and Behaviors Public – private personasArguing style that twist partner’s words, distort past eventsContradictory Statements and BehaviorsBehaviors controlling, manipulative, violent…Words support equality, respect, opposition to violenceExternalization of ResponsibilityIf she hadn’t, if the kids hadn’t, if my boss hadn’t…..Denial, Minimization and Victim BlamingI didn’t push her, she slipped.Under-reporting the number of incidents, minimizing the impact of the violence, the seriousness of the harmShe ran her mouth, provoked it…
43 Batterers…Bancroft and Silverman state (p. 19) “Batterers tend to abuse more than one woman over the course of their adult relationships.” “This high degree of conflict in his current relationship is probably the result of his abusiveness rather than its cause, and if he replicates these dynamics in his future relationships, his children may be at risk”
44 RED FLAGS Subtle cues Body Language Denigration Blaming (Externalization)Veiled threatsPaired with observations of reactions of the other party
45 I rememberI remember, as a child, Hiding in the dark closet with my sisters and brothers, Unable to block out the sounds of my father beating my mother. We would cry and pray together, asking God to make it stop. It never did…..
46 Now, 28 years later, when I talk about it, I still feel that helplessness and fear. I see the house, the closet. I feel huddled up with six kids in the closet..crying quietly. My Mom screams… My father yells… The crashing sounds… Deep terror… Feeling it was our fault somehow. We all paid for it in our adult lives. Not one of us escaped.
47 We paid for it with drugs and alcohol and violent relationships, reliving and acting in our own ways the script we grew up with. That was just from listening to it just from listening to it. The effect it had on our lives.
48 What is sad is that I didn’t realize until the end of my last abusive relationship That my kids were suffering as I did as a child