2 “Grief is the emotion people feel when they experience a loss.” What Is Grief?“Grief is the emotion people feel when they experience a loss.”“There are many different types of loss, and not all of them are related to death. For example, a person can also grieve over the breakup of a relationship or after a parent moves away from home.”The Nemours Foundation.The Nemours Foundation.
3 “Grief is a natural reaction to the loss of someone important to you. The grieving process takes time, and the healing usually happens gradually.”The Nemours Foundation.ｩ The Nemours Foundation.
4 *Depends on relationship with person. *“Although everyone experiences grief when they lose someone, grieving affects people in different ways.”*Depends on relationship with person.*Circumstances under which they died.The Nemours Foundation.ｩ The Nemours Foundation.“How it affects you, partly depends on your situation and relationship with the person who died. The circumstances under which a person dies can influence grief feelings. For example, if someone has been sick for a long time or is very old, you may have expected that person's death.”
5 Cont. *Knowing someone is going to die can give us time to prepare. *If they were suffering, it can mean a sense of relief.*If the person that died was young, we may feel it was unfair.The Nemours Foundation.ｩ The Nemours Foundation.
6 “Losing someone suddenly can be extremely traumatic, though, no matter how old that person is. Maybe someone you know died unexpectedly - as a result of violence or a car accident,For Example: It can take a long time to overcome a sudden loss because you may feel caught off guard by the event and the intense feelings that are associated with it.”The Nemours Foundation.ｩ The Nemours Foundation.
7 *Grief can make us feel guilty. *Some people might blame themselves or think they could have done something to stop the death.The Nemours Foundation.ｩ The Nemours Foundation.
8 Coping With Grief“The grieving process is very personal and individual - each person goes through his or her grief differently. Some people reach out for support from others and find comfort in good memories.”The Nemours Foundation.ｩ The Nemours Foundation.
9 Coping cont. *Everyone handles grief in different ways. *You might: Throw yourself into activities to take mind off loss.*Become depressed and withdraw from activities, peers, family.The Nemours Foundation.ｩ The Nemours Foundation.
10 “For some people, it may help to talk about the loss with others “For some people, it may help to talk about the loss with others. Some do this naturally and easily with friends and family, others talk to a professional therapist.”The Nemours Foundation.ｩ The Nemours Foundation.
11 Do children experience grief? “Yes, if children are old enough to love, they are old enough to grieve. Many times in our society children are the forgotten grievers. For instance, when a parent dies, whom do we expect to help the child with their grief? The surviving parent. That parent not only has their own grief to deal with but they are learning for the first time how to be a single parent. They, like their child, can use support in their grieving.”Excerpt from David Kessler’s website “On Grief & Grieving”By Elisabeth Kübler-Ross & David KesslerDAVID KESSLERExcerpt from David Kessler’s website “On Grief & Grieving”By Elisabeth Kübler-Ross & David Kessler
12 Example“Joey's friends expected he'd be really upset at his mom's funeral, so they were surprised that he was smiling and talking with people as if nothing had happened. When they asked him about it, Joey said that seeing his friends at the funeral cheered him up because it reminded him that some things would still be the same. Joey was able to cry and talk about how he felt when he was alone with his dad after the funeral.”Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD Date reviewed: April 2004KIDS/TEEEN.ORGReviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD Date reviewed: April 2004KIDS/TEEEN.ORG
13 What are the Five Stages of Grief and Do They Always Occur in the Same Order?
14 Elisabeth Kübler-Ross The five stages:DenialAngerBargainingDepressionAcceptanceElisabeth Kübler-RossElisabeth Kübler-Ross
15 Youtube video clipSummer expresses her grieving for Marissa in five stages. From episode 4x04 "The Metamorphosis".
16 Stages (cont.)The stages are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling.Different for everyone.Doesn’t always happen in exact order, may revert before moving forward.KESSLERKESSLER
17 Typical Physical Symptoms of Grief difficulty going to sleep, or waking in the middle of the nightweight loss or gain; over- or under-eatinglow energy or fatigueheadaches, chest pain, or racing heartupset stomach or digestive problems
18 Grief or Depression? Grief Depression Experienced in waves Diminishes in intensity over timeHealthy self-imageHopelessnessResponse to supportOvert expression of angerconstantly thinking about deceasedDepressionMoods and feelings are constantSense of worthlessness and disturbed self-imagePervasive hopelessnessUnresponsive to supportAnger not as pronouncedconstantly thinking about self* Excerpts from Therese A. Rando (1993). Treatment of Complicated Mourning. Research Press, Champaign, IL.
19 There are many ways people who are grieving can help themselves: Attending support groupsTherapy with a psychologist or other licensed mental health professionalJournalingEating WellExercisingGetting enough rest
20 Factors that may hinder the healing process Avoiding or minimizing emotionsUsing alcohol or drugs to self-medicate
21 Gender Differences Women Men more likely to take on a managerial role express their feelings early after lossreach out for social supportare seen to express more sorrow, depression, and guiltmore willing to talk about the loss of a childMenmore likely to take on a managerial roleintellectualize their emotionsindicate that they feel more anger, fear, and loss of controluse denial moremore private about grief
22 Developmental Grief Responses Ages 11-18Concept of DeathAbility to abstractBeginning to understand deathGrief ResponseExtreme sadnessDenialRegressionMore often willing to talk to people outside of family and peer supportRisk-taking
23 Needs of the Teenager To be included in planning & decision making To be informed of what to expect in terms of events, ceremonies, rituals, etc.To know what to expect from various relativesTo know what is expected of themTo witness adults grieving so they can learn adult ways to grieve
24 Needs of the Teenager (continued) To be encouraged to talk about what they think and feel and have their thoughts and feelings respected
25 What to Do Act natural Show genuine care and concern Make it clear that you are there to listenTalk openly and directly about the person who diedKeep in mind that evenings, weekends, anniversaries, and holidays can be extra challenging times
26 What to DoFind a way to help children symbolize and represent the deathPay attention to the way a child plays; this is one of the main ways that children communicateSay that you are sorry about the lossSit next to a child that wants closeness
27 What NOT to DoTry to shelter children from the reality of death; it can be a learning experienceGive false or confusing messages (“Grandma is sleeping now.”)Tell a child to stop crying because others might get upsetTry to cheer the person up or distract from the emotional intensity (“At least he’s no longer in pain.” “She’s in a better place now.”)
28 What NOT to DoOffer advice or quick solutions (“I know how you feel.” “Time heals all wounds.”)Pry into personal mattersAsk questions about the circumstances of the death