Learning How To Work It Out? Social Skills Life Skills Training
Social Skills The way we interact or get along with others Making friends or enemies Positive Social Skills Negative Social Skills
Conflicts During conflict people feel angry, afraid, frustrated or confused
Conflict Resolution Deciding how to solve an argument or disagreement. Finding a way to work out a problem without being physical. Everyone has the tools to resolve conflicts peacefully
Check this out: how would you react? Every day Jean goes to the cafeteria she passes by a group of boys at their lockers who tease her. She does not like it when this happens, but she is not sure how to react.
Possible Answers: Yell at the boys Hit them and try to make them stop Get her big brother to beat them up Pretend that it doesn’t bother her Try to walk the long way to the café Try to reason with the boys Tell the teacher Go tell the principal and complain
3 Types of Conflict Styles Confrontation Avoidance Problem Solving
Confrontation Attacking the person you disagree with by yelling at them or physically pushing or hitting them.
Avoidance Not dealing with the disagreement by pretending that it does not exist, or changing what you do so you do not see the person that you are disagreeing with.
Problem Solving Working together with the person you are disagreeing with to make a compromise.
How to Problem Solve a Conflict: Stop blaming Define the problem Consider asking for help Think of alternative solutions Evaluate the alternatives Make a decision Follow through
Back to the Jean’s Story: Yell at the boys (Confrontation) Hit them and try to make them stop (Confrontation) Get her big brother to beat them up (Confrontation) Pretend that it doesn’t bother her (Avoidance) Try to walk the long way to the café (Avoidance) Try to reason with the boys (Problem Solving) Tell the teacher (Problem Solving) Go tell the principal and complain (Problem Solving)
Possible Outcome (Results) Win-win: both sides’ most important needs are met during conflict resolution. Win-lose: only one person’s needs are met during conflict resolution. Lose-lose: No one’s needs are really met during conflict resolution.
What if Jean used…… -Confrontation: -Avoidance: -Problem Solving: Win-lose: she might scare them off win-lose: the boys laugh it off and tease her more Lose-lose: both Jean and the boys might have gotten in trouble Win-lose: Jean would feel bad because she had to pretend the teasing didn’t bother her or go out of her way to avoid it Win-win: the boys might have stopped teasing her Win-lose: the boys might have gotten in trouble and would have to stop teasing her
Points to Remember: A lose-lose situation is usually caused by a confrontation style. A win-lose situation is usually caused by avoidance or confrontation. Problem solving usually leads to a win-win situation.
PEACE The ultimate goal is to have peace among everyone. No Fighting No Fussing Talk with one another calmly
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