Presentation on theme: "1 ABC DISTRICT CHURCH WORKER CONFERENCE OCTOBER 18 – 21, 2010 ABC DISTRICT CHURCH WORKER CONFERENCE OCTOBER 18 – 21, 2010."— Presentation transcript:
1 ABC DISTRICT CHURCH WORKER CONFERENCE OCTOBER 18 – 21, 2010 ABC DISTRICT CHURCH WORKER CONFERENCE OCTOBER 18 – 21, 2010
2 A QUESTION FROM A PASTOR’S WIFE I need a little help... How much of myself do I need to CHANGE in order to be an effective minister’s wife? I’m basically an introvert and would much rather stay at home and do my own thing. I don’t FEEL like doing anything. Do I need to force myself to get out and do church things?
3 I am not the strong person everyone believes me to be. I feel like a hypocrite! 2 Corinthians 12:10 “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”
4 Pastor’s wife to her husband, “Honey, let’s reverse things this Sunday morning. You’ll be nice to us and grumpy to the congregation.”
5 81% said that they have insufficient time together 71% have tension, if not arguments over money 70% are struggling with their income level 64% have communication difficulties 63% are experiencing problems with their congregation 57% are struggling over lack of leisure time 53% are having difficulties in raising their children 46% are experiencing a lack of sexual fulfillment
6 A SURVEY OF CLERGY FAMILIES 41% are concerned with the pastor’s anger toward his spouse 35% are having disagreements over the pastor’s ministry career 25% are having disagreements over the pastor’s spouse’s career. Leadership Magazine Survey
7 FULLER SURVEY 90% of pastors work more than 46 hours a week 80% of pastors believe their ministry affects their families negatively 33% said that ministry was a hazaard to their family 75% of pastors reported that they had experienced a significant stress related crisis at least once in their ministry
8 FULLER SURVEY 50% of pastors felt they were unable to meet the needs of their ministry adequately 90% felt in adequately trained ot cope with ministry demands 70% say they have a lower self esteem now compared to when they started in ministry.
9 FULLER SURVEY 40% reported serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month 37% confessed to having been involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in the church 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend
10 If a healthy clergy family relationship is maintained it can become a source of strength and inspiration for clergy, clergy families and their congregations.
11 A healthy spiritual life Regular, intentional, personal daily devotional life. Regular, intentional, devotional life with spouse/family Father confessor --- a time for personal, private, confession and absolution
12 1. Personal devotions --- Mean is 22 minutes/day. Range is zero to 120 minutes per day. 2. Devotions with wife/spouse --- 3.75 days per wk 3.Devotions with children --- 4.79 days per wk 4. Asst. kids with catechesis --- 3.53 days per wk
13 INTENTIONAL TIME/TASK MANAGEMENT Prepare a weekly time/task to do list Prepare a weekly schedule based upon the weekly to do list Make sure that time is alotted in the schedule for prep time, devotions, family, self, etc. Monitor time spent at the office and engaged in official ministry functions. (select an accountability partner to help with this --- not your spouse)
14 1. 70 prepare a “to do” list 32 do not 2. 68 prepare a written daily schedule 35 do not 3. 38 schedule intenitonal personal time (55 no) 4. 30 schedule intentional time with wife (50 no) 5. 18 schedule intentional time with kids (31 no) 6. Average hours for church vocation is 44.22 7. 1.51 days of personal time per wk 8. 6.56 hrs per wk scheduled for prep time
15 CARE OF SELF Adequate sleep (most experts say 8 hrs/ night) Vigorous physical exercise Annual physical Take medications as prescribed Moderate use of alcohol Practice good eating habits Read nutrition labels (become an educated eater)
16 1. 22.84 minutes per day for vigorous exercise 2. 64 have annual physical (38 no) 3. 74 take medications as prescribed (12 no) 4. Use of illegal drugs/over consumption of alcohol 82 never, 21 seldom, 0 often 5. 63 choose food for dietary health. (40 no) 6. 58 read nutrition labels (45 no) 7. 6 morbidly obese; 8 obese; 33 overweight; 2 underweight
17 INTENTIONAL, REGULAR, DAILY PERS0NAL TIME WITH SPOUSE Couple devotions Several nights a week at home Date nights (at least two per month) Develop healthy friendships with Christian couples Take vacations Help with house work and care of children Develop and monitor family budget together (Couple should sit down at least 1/X per month to compare spending to budget and make adjustments as needed.)
18 1. Eat as a family: 29 all; 51 most; 12 few; 0 none. 2. 6 nights at home per wk with family 3. 30 schedule personal time with spouse/wife 4. Go on dates times per month (no answers) 5. Have written spending plan and review regularly 29 (71 no) 6. Keep detailed records of spending 45 (55 no) 7. Successfully follow written spending plan 9 all; 36 mostly; 10 seldom; 14 never. 8. 80 give 10% or more to the Lord (21 no) 9. 13 have high credit card balances (87 do not) 10. 42 use a professional financial advisor (58 no)
19 1. Disciplined, intentional, personal spiritual/devotional life 2. Take control of time/tasks 3. Take control of physical life 4.Priority of marriage and family is Biblically proper --- Quality and Quantity time with spouse and family 5. Family finances are properly managed 6. Healthy social life
20 District President Trusted Peer Qualified, properly trained Christian counselor Financial advisor Medical Doctor Etc.
21 Ministers of Religion must plan for quality family times and mark them in red on their calendar. When scheduling conflicts arise (they are inevitable) as a family discuss how the missed date, outing, etc. will be made up.
22 Thank you for the opportunity to be with you! God bless all you and your families! Thank you for the opportunity to be with you! God bless all you and your families!