Presentation on theme: "Building Godly Homes * Pastor Brett Peterson. What does the Bible say about PARENTING? How are doing as a parent? What would your children say? What would."— Presentation transcript:
What does the Bible say about PARENTING? How are doing as a parent? What would your children say? What would your neighbors say? What does God say? It’s all about the childrenIt’s building a homeIt’s parenting by exampleIt’s demonstrating God’s love
But these cute babies can be difficult! There is nothing more precious in life than life! Parents are given the awesome task of raising up their children! Besides God, family is the most important thing we have on earth! Do you really believe that? Stress Crying
Family time…? Surveys suggest that most families rate time together as their number one priority. Those same surveys show that fathers spend only a few minutes a day with their children. In his book If I Were Starting My Family Again, John Drescher wrote about a study of 300 seventh and eighth-grade boys who kept detailed records of how much time their fathers spent with them over a two-week period. Most saw their father only at the dinner table. A number didn't see their fathers for days at a time. The average time father and son were alone together was seven and one-half minutes a week.
Let’s get our Priorities right! (1Ti 5:8) But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Materially Mentally
Let’s look at some more verses…. Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6) Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. (Colossians 3:21) Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4) Pleasant words promote instruction. (Proverbs 16:21) A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction. (Proverbs 16:23) To show partiality in judging is not good. (Proverbs 24:23) He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge. (Proverbs 14:26)
Discipline your son, and he will give you peace, he will bring delight to your soul. (Proverbs 29:17) Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death. (Proverbs 23:13- 14) He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge. (Proverbs 14:26) Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. (Proverbs 22:15) He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. (Proverbs 13:24)
Discipline gives your children roots… Discipline must be consistent. It must not be done in anger. It must always be explained to your child. It is about your love for them! Displine helps children see their home as a sanctuary from the world and a place of safety and consistency!
Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.
Developmental Stages Discipline is more effective when you understand the developmental stage of the child. Your message may be accurate, but if you can’t put it into a format the child can understand: it doesn’t work.
Ages 2-6 Preoperational Stage Sees only one aspect at a time Thinking is rigid Black/White
Age 6-11 Concrete Stage Begins to understand relationships Able to use logical thought only when solving problems involving concrete objects and events.
Age 11+ Abstract Stage Cause and Effect Legal/Illegal What will happen if...?
Discipline thru Dialogue = Learning Punishment = Control What I hear: “we’ve tried time-out, taken away everything, grounded until Medicare, spanked ourselves sore - with little success”. “To train up a child in the way he should go” Prov. 22:6
Defining Punishment Dictionary: “to inflict a form of suffering, to treat harshly” At times, that may be appropriate. For this presentation, it will be define as a: “over-controlling, heavy-handed, authoritarian (domineering)” approach
You need to give them wings… Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. (Psalm 127:3)
“Parents who have children that ‘turn out well’ tend to take too much credit and parents who have children who don’t tend to take too much blame.”
So if you want to measure your success as a parent – don’t look at your kids – look in your mirror! WHY?
Because its not the conduct of your children that is the ultimate measure of your success as a parent – it is your own character!
Ex. 20:12 “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” Eph. 6:1-2 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;).” If you demonstrate Godly Character to your children They will give you honor!
Society’s Change and Impact CHARACTERISTICS: NORM NORM 1930 2000 Family InteractionHigh Low Value SystemsSimilar Mixed Role ModelsConstant Dissonant EducationLess More TechnologyLow High
Society’s Change and Impact CHARACTERISTICS:NORM NORM 1930 2000 Family workMuch Little Family sizeLarge Small Family dominantExtended Nuclear Single/Blended Families10% 50+% Class size (K-12)18-22 28-35 Neighborhood schoolsDominant Rare
Society Has Changed. Do We? 2 generations ago: adolescence was not nearly a troublesome period Word “teenager” was rarely used. Children needed for economic survival: they were given so much responsibility that by age 12, most had the same judgment skills as most adults.
Society Has Changed Cont’d Free from endless entertainment and overindulgence and were not as influenced by their peers. They had to deal with same new feelings and puberty- but did so in a more stable environment.
Pitfalls vs Positives Thinking that my kid’s needs are more important than my spouses. Falling into the “busy is better” demands of society for my kids. Keeping my priorities in order and making time for my spouse. Balancing appropriate activities for my kids and the “sanctity” of the home.
Pitfalls vs Positives Thinking that “Quality” time is more important to your kids. Thinking that your kids don’t listen to your conversations. Kids love “Quality” time, but thrive with your “Quantity” time. Taking a special interest in what “little ears” are nearby.
Pitfalls vs Positives You will often “ACT” like the parent you want to be. Making a “HAT” decision: one that is made while you are hunger, angry, tired. But will usually “REACT” in the way you were parented. Realizing that we are much better parents when we are taking care of our spiritual, physical, and emotional needs.
Pitfalls vs Positives Never telling kids “no”, or always telling them “no” and preventing them from growing and learning. Thinking that being a good parent involves making sure my kids have the best of everything. Avoiding the extremes and using “dialogue” to find a healthy balance. Keep a record. Avoid “over- indulgence” for your kids; it only erodes your “purpose” and effectiveness.
Pitfalls vs Positives Not talking to kids about sex or teaching them about God’s design for their bodies. Thinking that if they don’t ask, then they don’t care. Waiting until they are teenagers for the birds/bees talk. Utilizing the “teach them early and often” approach. Using developmentally appropriate materials as they grow. They want to know and will listen; if you wait- they will learn from someone else.
Pitfalls vs Positives (Adol. issues) Thinking that your kids have rights and a right to privacy: -never reading their emails -never checking through their room -never calling the “other parents” to confirm plans Kids have “opportunities”. They need to know that you will be checking. They may fight you- but deep down they desire (and counting on) your boundaries.
Pitfalls vs Positives (Adol. issues) Thinking that my kid would never view inappropriate materials on the internet. (The garbage will come to them.) Thinking I.M. (Instant Messanger) is just like chatting on the phone. Think smart about technology. It is your job to promote safety. Install a proven “filter”, (most kids can disable a basic “filter” in 5 clicks.) set time limits, keep the computer visible.