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1 Chapter 7 “Building Effective Interpersonal Relationships”

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Presentation on theme: "1 Chapter 7 “Building Effective Interpersonal Relationships”"— Presentation transcript:

1 1 Chapter 7 “Building Effective Interpersonal Relationships”

2 2 Section 2 “Personal Style in Interpersonal Relationships”

3 3 Dominant

4 4 Dominant 15 % of population Behaviors 1. F ast paced/task oriented 2. C onsidered “mover/shaker” – gets things done 3. W ill do whatever is necessary to overcome obstacles 4. S killed at providing direction to others 5. S ought as leaders 6. W ill delegate to those deemed competent

5 5 Dominant Speaks 1. D irect and to the point 2. C an be blunt and critical 3. C an be sarcastic 4. G ives instruction for big picture but omits details to be accomplished before project can begin 5. I nspires others but may be overly optimistic

6 6 Dominant Speaks 6. Doesn’t hide accomplishments and may be self-centered 7. Will escalate conflict 8. Can be manipulative to get results 9. Will close off communication when highly stressed 10. Sometimes needs to be confronted to get attention 11. You may have to push back to get respect

7 7 Dominant Listens 1. N ot patient; seldom seeks opinions 2. W ants brief answers 3. W ants bottom line first – reasons second 4. A sks if they want more detail 5. I s more interested in task information than people issues

8 8 Dominant How to speak to dominates 1. P rovide brief, direct, to-the-point answers 2. A sk “what” not “how” questions 3. S tick to business; outline possibilities to get results, solve problems or be in charge 4. S tress logic of ideas or approaches

9 9 Dominant How to talk to dominate 5. A gree with facts or ideas, not person 6. P rovide facts, figures about probability of success or effectiveness of options 7. S how how they will reach goals

10 10 Influencing

11 11 Influencing 15% of population Behaviors Behaviors 1. Fast paced/people oriented 2. Has an interactor style 3. Tends to be extroverted, enthusiastic, outgoing, spontaneous and optimistic 4. Appear stylish

12 12 Influencing Behaviors Behaviors 5. Likes stimulating conversation 6. Has difficulty with routine tasks 7. Gets results by influencing and persuading 8. Valued and sought for fun-loving attitude 9. Enjoys recognition of achievements

13 13 Influencing Speaks Speaks 1. Friendly; initiates conversation 2. Spontaneous and often humorous 3. Makes positive, enthusiastic remarks 4. Physically expressive with face, tone and gestures 5. Often promises more than can be delivered

14 14 Influencing Speaks Speaks 6. Uses excuses 7. Influences and persuades through verbal praise 8. Makes judgments intuitively instead of analyzing data 9. Physical communicator – shakes hands, hugs, pats shoulders 10. Need to verbally express at length

15 15 Influencing Listens Listens 1. Responsive 2. Encouraging V and NV 3. Interrupts to compare experiences, not dominate 4. Very empathic due to high degree of emotionality

16 16 Influencing Listens Listens 5. Hears only what he wants 6. May not hear negatives 7. Reacts too quickly to speaker’s first words

17 17 Influencing How to speak to an influencing How to speak to an influencing 1. Be a good listener 2. Provide chances for verbalizing about ideas, people or intuitions 3. Speak in democratic terms – “we” not “I’m the boss; do as I say” 4. Give big picture without getting bogged down with detail- put details in writing

18 18 Influencing How to speak to influencing How to speak to influencing 5. Provide testimonials 6. Provide extra incentives – likes to be recognized as a leader 7. Lead step-by-step to conclusions – tend to jump and not be analytical 8. Use small talk before getting down to business

19 19 Influencing How to speak to influencing How to speak to influencing 9. Be VERY realistic – he doesn’t need support from you 10. Give clear instruction – get firm commitment in writing or through handshake 11. Use confrontation as last resort- persuasion and encouragement work better 12. Accept failures and encourage – don’t punish

20 20 Steady

21 21 Steady 35% of population 35% of population Behaviors Behaviors 1. Slow paced – both people/task oriented 2. Typically cooperative/efficient 3. Can be counted on to get a job done 4. Fairly reserved 5. Pays attention to detail 6. Loves structure

22 22 Steady Behaviors Behaviors 7. Very stable 8. Good team player but pessimistic 9. Appears casual or conforming 10. Reaches objectives through cooperation 11. Tends to have warm personality and calming effect on others

23 23 Steady Speaks Speaks 1. Usually not initiator of conversations or new ideas 2. Likes stability of groups – uses “we” or “us” 3. Gives practical advice 4. Asks “how” not “when” or “if” questions – uncomfortable initiating decisions

24 24 Steady Speaks Speaks 5. Thinks things over 6. Faithful/loyal – sometimes to a fault 7. May not communicate well under stress – keeps thoughts and feelings to self – becomes silent or non-involved 8. Will not attack- suppresses anger but holds grudges

25 25 Steady Speaks Speaks 9. Stores up grievances; ultimately making him suspicious of others 10. Can overuse kindness when assertiveness is more effective 11. Often doesn’t say “no” when needed 12. Presents thought out, step-by-step, orderly plans

26 26 Steady Speaks Speaks 13. Can be blunt when disagreeing or defending self 14. Withholds expression of true feelings; rarely expresses much enthusiasm 15. Tends to think in term of either/or; rarely thinks to compromise

27 27 Steady Listens Listens 1. Patient empathic listener due to people involvement 2. Demands honesty and openness 3. Tends to withhold evaluative feedback; has excellent insight but won’t share unless asked

28 28 Steady Listens Listens 4. Creates open-door atmosphere in which sharing work and family issues is acceptable 5. Controls emotional expression so speaker feels accepted 6. Can be wonderful conversationalist because he is wonderful listener

29 29 Steady How to speak to a steady How to speak to a steady 1. Provide a sincere, personable, agreeable environment 2. Show sincere interest in person, particularly in his family 3. Ask “how” questions to get opinions 4. Draw out goals systematically

30 30 Steady How to speak to a steady How to speak to a steady 5. Present new ideas or departure from status quo in non-threatening manner and show the benefits 6. Clearly define goals in new plans and point out how he fits into those plans 7. Provide personal assurance and reassurance 8. Give specific, constant appreciation

31 31 Steady How to speak to a steady How to speak to a steady 9. Refrain from aggression, ultimatums and conflict 10. Always use logical, systematic rationales when explaining or asking for cooperation 11. Give time to process and make decisions 12. Be loyal and supportive

32 32 Conscientious

33 33 Conscientious 35 % of population 35 % of population Behaviors Behaviors 1. Slow paced/task oriented 2. Highly analytical perfectionists who love detail 3. Tend to be introverted and guarded in relationships 4. Avoid risk-taking at all costs

34 34 Conscientious Behaviors Behaviors 5. Seeks safety of rules and regulations 6. Appears formal and conservative 7. Follows rules/meets deadlines – expects others to do the same 8. Gets results from working within guidelines or structure to ensure quality and accuracy

35 35 Conscientious Behaviors Behaviors 9. Often prefers to work alone rather than in groups 10. Sought for advice about details and routine

36 36 Conscientious Speaks Speaks 1. Passes the buck if asked for answers 2. Yields a position to avoid controversy 3. Defensive when threatened 4. Exact about details; may talk at length about details that seem unimportant to others 5. Feels quality is extremely important

37 37 Conscientious Speaks Speaks 6. Asks MANY, MANY detailed questions to clarify others’ positions 7. Slow to respond due to processing ALL information 8. Extremely critical of own work and highly critical of others not meeting expectations

38 38 Conscientious Speaks Speaks 9. Influences by collecting and organizing factual data and logical presentations 10. Seldom admits true emotional reactions and will withhold insights and opinions until feels it safe to share 11. Seldom gives positive feedback or appreciation to others

39 39 Conscientious Speaks Speaks 12. Has a special talent for organizing and communicating instructs correctly 13. Follows rules and fulfills commitments 14. Will seek opinions to argue or move on to seek someone else’s opinion 15. Very cautious about expressing opinions or making decisions until all data has been checked and rechecked

40 40 Conscientious Speaks Speaks 16. Enjoys intellectual argument as a way of exercising reasoning ability 17. Seems to take little initiative or contribute few ideas 18. Fears criticism and may keep to self to feel protected

41 41 Conscientious Listens Listens 1. Attentive, intuitive listener; sensitive to feelings of speaker 2. Misses main point and get off on tangents 3. Asks MANY, MANY questions, which at times may feel like attacks

42 42 Conscientious Listens Listens 4. Needs to hear the same thing repeatedly, reprocess the same info and ask the same questions 5. Takes criticism or comments personally although not aimed directly at him

43 43 Conscientious How to speak to a conscientious How to speak to a conscientious 1. Take time to prepare a logical case in advance 2. Provide straight pros and cons of ideas and support ideas with accurate data 3. Provide exact job description with precise explanation of how each fits into the big picture

44 44 Conscientious How to speak to a conscientious How to speak to a conscientious 4. Provide reassurance of no surprises 5. Provide step-by-step approach to goal 6. Be specific if agreeing; disagree with facts not person 7. Prepare to provide MANY explanations and answer “how” and “if” questions in a patient manner

45 45 Conscientious How to speak to a conscientious How to speak to a conscientious 8. Encourage V independence as well as job independence 9. Provide MANY assurances that you value quality and accuracy 10. Refrain from antagonistic responses that breed withdrawal and avoidance 11. Offer much reassurance and support

46 46 Analyzing Style to Prevent Interpersonal Conflict Adapt own behavior slightly from relationship to relationship Adapt own behavior slightly from relationship to relationship Realize that a person’s communication style is his natural orientation toward getting work done; it has nothing to do with his perception of you Realize that a person’s communication style is his natural orientation toward getting work done; it has nothing to do with his perception of you Less likely to clash if you realize that four styles are necessary to get work done Less likely to clash if you realize that four styles are necessary to get work done

47 47 Analyzing Style to Prevent Interpersonal Conflict “D”s get us going and keep us on task “D”s get us going and keep us on task “I”s provides optimism, energy and humor to create positive creative atmosphere “I”s provides optimism, energy and humor to create positive creative atmosphere “S”s calm us down and get us to slow down so we can do the job right “S”s calm us down and get us to slow down so we can do the job right “C”s keep us on task and in line with the rules “C”s keep us on task and in line with the rules

48 48 1. Adventurous Adventurous Polished Polished Stable Stable

49 49 2. Receptive Receptive Determined Determined Enthusiastic Enthusiastic

50 50 3. Steady Steady Exacting Exacting original original

51 51 4. Poised Poised Patient Patient Orderly Orderly

52 52 5.ForcefulPersuasiveSettled

53 53 6.CautiousBoldOutgoing

54 54 7. Persistent Persistent Cooperative Cooperative Brave Brave

55 55 8.AttractiveControlledCorrect

56 56 9. Competitive Competitive Diplomatic Diplomatic Accommodating Accommodating

57 57 10.CarefulDecisivePopular

58 58 11.DependableAccurateInventive

59 59 12.ConvincingConsistentOpen-minded

60 60 13.PositiveCordialEven-tempered

61 Conservative Conservative Eager Eager Entertaining Entertaining

62 Amiable Amiable Systematic Systematic Self-reliant Self-reliant

63 63 16.SociableUnhurriedPrecise


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