Presentation on theme: "Effective Sentences. Many problems in sentence clarity involves errors in grammar, punctuation, word choice, and usage."— Presentation transcript:
Many problems in sentence clarity involves errors in grammar, punctuation, word choice, and usage.
How might we put more information into the following sentences? 1) If you were to observe a karate class, you would become more familiar with all the aspects that make it up. 2) The meaning of the poem isn't very clear the first time you read it, but after several readings, the poet’s meaning comes through. 3) Listening is important because we all need to be able to sit and hear all that is said to us.
Poor There are many kinds of beautiful tropical fish. The kind most popular with aquarium owners is the angelfish. Better Of the many kinds of beautiful tropical fish, the angelfish is the most popular with aquarium owners.
Sentences should also give readers enough detail for them to “see” the picture you are creating: Vague She went home in a bad mood. Specific She stomped home, hands jammed in her pockets, angrily kicking rocks, dogs, small children and anything else that crossed her path.
Overpacked John told Phil that to achieve more control over the ball, he should practice flicking or snapping his wrist, because this action is faster in the close shots and placing a shot requires only a slight change of the wrist’s angle instead of an acute movement of the whole arm, which gives a player less reaction time. Easier to Understand John told Phil that to achieve more control over the ball, he should practice flicking or snapping his wrist, because this action is faster in the close shots. Placing a shot requires only a slight change of the wrist’s angle instead of an acute movement of the whole arm, which gives a player less reaction time.
Fragments are confusing to the reader, who must struggle to fill in the connecting link between the writer’s ideas. Fragment David bought a gopher ranch. Hoping to strike it rich. Correct David bought a gopher ranch, hoping to strike it rich. Correct David bought a gopher ranch. He hoped to strike it rich.
Fragment David bought a gopher ranch. Although he knew nothing about rodents. Correct David bought a gopher ranch, although he knew nothing about rodents. Correct David bought a gopher ranch. However, he knew nothing about rodents.
The correct word is crucial for clarity. Be sure to place a modifier ( word or group of words that affects the meaning of another word) near the word it modifies. Let’s figure these out: 1. Eliza said she loves only me 2. Only Eliza said she loves me. 3. Eliza said only that she loves me. 4. Eliza said only she loves me.
How can we fix these sentences? There’s a man waiting to see you outside with a black mustache. The lost child was finally found wandering in a frozen farmer’s field
Faulty Pregnant cows are required to teach certain courses in Science 105 in the Animal Sciences Department. Revised The Animal Sciences Department needs to purchase pregnant cows for use in Science 105.
Some that are Notorious: Regardless of the fact thatalthough Due to the fact thatbecause The reason is thatomit As to whether or not towhether to At this point in timenow, today It is believed that “he” believes Concerning the matter ofabout By means ofby On account ofbecause
Redundancies are words that repeat the same meaning or whose meanings overlap. In this day and age, people tend to live at least 70 years. (“today” is less wordy) He repeated the winning bingo number over again. (“Repeated” means to “to say again”)
Reverted back Reflected back Retreated back Fell down Climb up A true fact Large in size Joined up New innovation Red in color Burned down/up Pair of twins/two twins Resulting effect Final outcome At this point in time
Passive The wedding date was announced by the young couple. Active The young couple announced their wedding date. Passive His letter of resignation was accepted by the Board of Trustees Active The Board of Trustees accepted his letter of resignation.
Such preparations shall be made as will completely obscure all Federal buildings and non Federal buildings occupied by the Federal Government during an air raid for any period of time from visibility by reason of internal or external examination Tell them that in buildings where they have to keep the work going to put something across the windows.